Falling From Grace
by AlphaLeporis24
Summary: Following the events of The Last Jedi. Rey finds herself facing Kylo Ren multiple times and tries to understand why the Force is tying them together. The story follows the two protagonists on their journey through Light and Darkness. REYLO story/Bits of Rey-Poe and Finn-Rose/Jealousy/Explicit material/Angst/Slowburn/Torture/Enemies to Lovers
1. Chapter 1: What we need

**FALLING FROM GRACE**

**Author's Note: **Please note that english is not my mother language but I'm passionate about the language :) . I hope you enjoy this story and comment if you like it or have any critics to make!

**Chapter 1: What we need**

A dark shadow was kneeled in the center of command room. Golden dice disappeared from his hand. His father's dice. The girl, the Scavenger, Rey…. he saw her closing the Millenium Falcon's door after boarding the last members of the Resistance. This picture was too familiar to him and saddening at the same time. He couldn't count how many times he saw this door closing when he was young. The look she gave him was full of determination. He could almost taste her disappointment through their bond. It was like an aura weighing on him and he felt weak….again. He asked her to rule the galaxy with him, to set a new order and it was with sheer resolution that she refused his offer. She was strong with the Force and would have been without a doubt a great ally to rule with. However, he wanted her not only because of her strength but because she was the first one to really understand his conflicted mind. He has never trusted anyone for a long time, she was the first in many years. He should have known better. His former Nemesis might become his downfall.

The Millenium Falcon was now in hyperspace. Rey was fixing BB-8's antenna with a smile when a man appeared in front of her.

"Hi, I'm Poe, Poe Dameron" the man said.

"I'm Rey" she responded.

"Yeah, I know" Poe said with a smile on his face that Rey returned to him.

She sat on the bench watching Finn pulling up the covers on a girl and smiled. It seemed like Finn found someone he deeply cared about.

_Someone he cares about…._, she thought.

Her memory of Ben materialized to her mind. Ashes...burnt flesh….his proposal to rule the galaxy with him. The sadness and the pain she felt at that moment. It was all coming back to her like waves crushing on her body. She was convinced she could bring him back and it seems she failed to do so. Her eyes were getting wet as she remembered the last Force meeting they had, how disappointing his behavior has been on Crait. Leia walked toward her and sat by her side. She looked at the broken saber in the young woman's hands and placed both of her hands on hers. Rey felt comforted. Leia was the closest she had of a mother.

"How can we rebuilt the Rebellion from this?" she asked, concerned.

"Don't worry, we have what we need" the old woman calmly said.

Rey raised a smile but it didn't last long. Leia was observing the concern of the young girl whose eyes let down tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I thought….I could bring him back….I was so convinced I could…" she said, trying her best not to sob.

"My sweet child, you've already done so much for us, you bring us hope"

"I...I wanted him to…."

Leia gently wiped the tear on her cheek and gave her a considerate smile.

" Why is it that important to you dear?"

" I haven't told you yet but...Ben and I...we…"

"I know. You two are bonded through the Force. I had flashes from Luke's mind before he went back to the Force. However, it seems to me that there is something more, am I wrong?"

Rey's eyes widened out of surprise and she then shook her head.

"What do you mean? No! There is nothing else. The bond there is between him and I won't affect my loyalty to the Resistance, I swear th-"

"I have no worries about that my dear . That wasn't what I was implying here" she said as she got up and paced a bit with a soft smile.

Rey was staring at the old woman's back, puzzled.

"You're exactly like me at your age. Falling for the bad guy. How can I blame you?" the old woman said with a sigh.

Rey instantly turned red and before she could even answer, Leia hold up her hand to stop her.

"You don't have to justify anything. However, please be careful. This is a dangerous path you're going through"

"I...I…"

" You should get some sleep Rey. I've arranged a room for you. Take a shower and sleep, you need it after all you've been through." she added as she exited the room.

"I don't mind sleeping in the storage room with the others you know…"

" I know that. However, you're our last hope, I need you to be well rested. We have a lot that awaits us. Follow me."

Rey obeyed and stood up to follow Leia through the corridors. She stopped in front of a white door.

"This door is blocked. I've tried to open it but didn't succeed." Rey said.

Leia put her hand on the fingerprint scanner. Small beeps followed and the door slowly opened to enable access to the room. She then put Rey's hand on it.

"That was my room back then. Only Han and I had access to it. Now that the Millenium Falcon is yours, that room is yours too, take a good care of it."

"This is too much, I can't-"

"This room holds too many memories . I'm giving it to you. I'm sure Han would totally agree with me" Leia said with a sad smile.

Leia entered the room followed by Rey. It was narrow but was very well decorated. White and gold mostly and with lots of plants in it. A small bed took centre stage in the middle of the room over which a canopy was hanging. The sheets were white and the pillow cases were golden. Leia sure does have good taste. The left side of the room was lain a dressing table on top of which one could see various items and plants. The mirror on the wall was made out of carved wood ornamented with crystals and stones. She walked towards the open door on her right to discover a refresher for the room. The sink was made out of what seemed to be some sort of stone and lots of perfumes and lotions were placed on it.

"This is so beautiful. I don't know what to say. I'm quite embarrassed to sleep here while the others sleep in dorms"

Leia smiled at her and took her hand.

"I've already spoke with everyone and they agree with my decision. Don't you worry. Now, enough speaking, go to sleep"

The General closed the distance between them and gave her a tender hug.

"Alright"

Once Leia was gone, she undressed and got in the fresher to take a shower. The hot water was running on her skin. It was warm and comforting, just as Leia's arms . The water, scented soap….it was almost a luxury she didn't have on Jakku. An arid planet, an improvised bed, lonely days and nights...she had no one and was…

"_You're nothing"_

She felt tears in her eyes remembering Ben's words.

"_...but not to me"_

A strange feeling seized her stomach. She couldn't fathom who was talking there. Was it Ben Solo? or Kylo Ren? If that was Kylo, she knew he needed her power but if that was Ben….

She suddenly felt a lump in her throat and froze. If that was Ben, then what was the meaning of his words?

As the steam enveloped in mist the glass door of the fresher and the memory of their hands touching in the hut brushed her mind , she blushed and felt her heart rate skyrocketing. She closed her eyes and almost felt his touch again. It was unlike anything she had felt before. All the lonely nights of Jakku almost felt like a distant memory. She felt belonging…. purpose, and didn't feel alone for once in her life. She remembered being trapped in the depth of his eyes in that cold hut. His eyes were so expressive. The young girl shook her head, came back to her senses and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped the towel around her body and looked at her face in the mirror. The mirror in that cave….on Ahch-To...she hoped to see her parents but only saw her reflection. She couldn't possibly decipher the meaning of her visions there.

Ben was resting in his quarters, sat on his bed, a cup of R'alla mineral water in his hand. He was remembering Rey's face as she closed the Falcon's door. She just left him without an ounce of regret. The only person that made him feel less alone, left him. Everything was perfect, he killed Snoke….she could have ruled with him and yet….

All of a sudden, as he rose the cup to his lips ,a familiar and delicate scent of gingerbell teased his nose. He froze.

"_Mother?"_ he thought for a moment.

Rey was staring at her reflection in the mirror when she suddenly felt a shiver running down her spine. She knew that feeling too well. Her eyes widened as in the mirror the face of Ben appeared. She let out a shriek of surprise and turned around .

"BEN!"

As the young girl appeared in front of him, wearing only a towel around her body, Ben choked and spat out the water. Instinctively, he turned around, embarrassed.

"Rey" he said between coughs, trying to breathe.

"Just….stay like this….don't look...please" she said as she grabbed the nearest robe she could find and put it on her.

She paused for a moment and had a look on his back. It was so huge.

"I'm done you can turn around"

Ben obeyed. He looked at her from head to toes. She was stunningly beautiful in that white silk robe and he tried his best to hide his awe but his lips parted slightly. His eyes then met hers. She had the same look on her face she had during their last connection and she didn't say a word, arms crossed. With a sigh, she turned around and start organizing the lotions on the sink. He was the one to broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, I don't control it. It just occurs randomly" he calmly said.

Again, not a single word from her. She folded the towel and put it back on the towel rail. She was now looking for slippers without giving Ben a single glance resulting in rising his annoyance.

" How long are you going to ignore me?" he said.

He slowly walked towards her. From behind, she looked so small, and fragile, just like a delicate flower. He wanted to make contact, especially after Crait. He wanted her to know he wasn't angry, that she meant so much to him. He was sad and desperate but it was a part of him he wasn't willing to show and especially not to her. Somehow, at times he reasoned like his father and he hated it. Dark Side users are supposed to be seeking absolute power and have no weaknesses but that ideology was meant to fail because of the inherent essence of living beings.

"Rey"

His voice resonated in her chest. She felt him approaching from behind. Her heart started to flutter no matter how much she tried to calm it down. His scent…..his scent was intoxicating.

His gloved hand reached out to her shoulder with a tenderness that was foreign to her at this point of their relationship. At his contact, her whole body shivered and she promptly turned around.

"Don't…." she pleaded in a whisper, eyes on the ground.

Ben took a step back.

For a moment, Rey swears she saw a glimpse of hurt in his gaze.

He looked at her in the eyes and frowned.

He didn't get it….of course he didn't.

"I offered you the galaxy! You could have had everything and not feel alone anymore." he said, trying to meet her gaze unsuccessfully.

"What the point of having a galaxy if I can't even have -" she said out of anger before stopping herself. She then sighed and sat on her bed.

"Argh!Nevermind!"

Then, silence. She finally allowed her watery eyes to meet his. He saw disappointment,sadness and he could barely bear seeing her like this knowing he was the one responsible for her feelings. He opened to her in a way he never did before with anyone. He felt understood but this rejection was more than he could handle.

"I don't want to rule anything. And certainly not with Kylo Ren"

"Kylo Ren is part of who I am and I cannot change that"

"I know. I'm accepting you as you are, past and present but I couldn't accept your offer because I'm not willing to fight against my friends…. I want to follow Ben, not Kylo"

She paused for a moment then frowned.

"You should have let Snoke killed me, it would have made things easier for you" she said with a hint of disdain.

"I couldn't do that"

"Why?" she spat.

"You know why" he said firmly.

Her face softened and relaxed. His eyes were the same as those when they touched hand. It was as if something in him was awakening but it felt like he was resisting it. Somehow she was able to bring Ben Solo back, at times, but it was quite short and Kylo was always taking over eventually.

" You are aware I just can't go back and ask everybody to forgive me for all the terrible things I've done, aren't you?"

Somehow, Rey knew he was right. Her mouth opened to say something but then immediately shut. As she rested her hand on the silk sheets, the neckline of her robe slightly widened revealing more of her cleavage, catching Ben's eyes.

A part of him wanted her to cover it and another part was driven crazy by this ethereal sight. He felt that burning heat in his body for no other woman before. Being closed to her was sharpening all of his senses and he felt powerful and vulnerable at the same time. He focused on her eyes again, trying to ignore the light blush on her cheeks. It was not the time for such frivolous thoughts. He couldn't let his guard down, he couldn't let his body dictating his acts, not now. However, it would have been easier if the Force wasn't involved because he could feel his burning desire for her getting stronger with each Force bond they had. He was craving for her touch since Ahch-To, it felt like a dream, it felt almost surreal.

He moved towards the young girl then kneeled making sure his eyes were locked on hers.

Rey's heart started to race realizing their proximity. Her whole body became aware of her surroundings.

As his hand approached her chest, her breath was taken away for what seemed like an eternity. She couldn't move and was wondering why she didn't stop him. How could something feel so right and so wrong at the same time?

Her eyes studied his. His gaze was so intense that it was destabilizing. So many emotions captured in those eyes in which she could drown. Both of them was caught in the moment when Poe's voice was heard from behind the door.

"Rey?"

"Poe" she whispered.

She stared at the door, then back to Ben.

"_What does this bastard want so late in the evening?" _Ben thought, anger rising in him.

Ben slowly pulled her bathrobe to cover her cleavage. Rey froze and felt a warm sensation going through her body as his fingers brushed against the skin of her chest.

" You might want to cover that. I've been in this guy's head. Who knows what he's capable of."

" Stop your nonsense. Poe would never hurt me. I'm his friend" she said before walking towards the door.

Rey took a deep breath and opened the door. Poe was standing there, smiling, an arm resting on the frame of the door. The archetype of the smug and handsome pilot.

Ben remained in the back and started to see Rey's surroundings but it remained quite blurry. As if she let her guard down.

" Oh Force, you look really stunning in that robe!" he said with wide eyes.

Rey blushed and thanked him for the compliment with a shy smile.

" I hope I didn't wake you up. I just wanted...you know... to wish you a good night." he said with the most natural charming smile.

"Thank you Poe, good night to you too!"

"Thanks Rey"

She watched Poe walking away in the corridor. As soon as she closed the door Ben spoke.

"Pathetic"

"Excuse me?"

" He's hitting on you, it's obvious. Seriously, coming in your room that late just to say "Good night"... " he said with a bitter tone. " You're so naive"

"Yeah I'm naive and I'm no one and nothing; you made it very clear. Are you done belittling me or do you have more in stock? He was being nice, you could try that one day."

She heard him mumbling something intelligible.

"I beg your pardon my _lord_? I can't hear you"

The sarcasm made Ben's irritation palpable through the bond even though he tried hard no to let it transpire.

" Kriff! I didn't mean it that way Rey. You're not nothing"

He looked at the entrance of the room lost in thoughts.

"That man, he clearly had something in mind when he knocked on your door"

"You're imagining things Ben"

"He's a man and you're a woman. What do you think would happen in a bedroom so late at night? He certainly didn't want to drink some Tarine tea…."

Then she understood what he meant.

"Wait what? Oh no no no! I can't… NO. What makes you think that? Besides why..." she said embarrassed to notice what he was implying.

"...why on earth would he want something like that with me? We've just met."

Ben walked to her and stop at just few inches from her body. She could feel his warm breath on her face. Her cheeks suddenly flushed when she realized how close he was. His eyes plunged into hers and she could see in them something different than usual. It was like he was looking at something he really wanted. It was the first time someone was looking at her like that. The intensity of his gaze was troubling her to the deepest point causing shivers through her whole body.

"Well….looks like there is a still a lot you need to learn, scavenger. The man told you that you looked stunning. Isn't it obvious enough for you?"

"He said that to be nice that's all. I'm a nobody, remember?" she said with a sarcastic tone.

Ben slowly pulled a wild lock of her hair in his hand, examined her face with attention as if he was burning each of her freckle in his memory, then put it back on her shoulder. Rey couldn't move a muscle, her body was not responding overflowed with feelings.

"As much as I don't like it….I have to agree with him on that" Ben calmly said before disappearing.

The connection ended, leaving Rey, whose face was bright red, filled with a myriad of emotions.

In the First Order ship, Ben was in his room, angry at himself for letting his emotions take over his mind.


	2. Chapter 2: Connection

**Chapter 2: Connection**

The next morning, Rey emerged from her deep sleep, woken up by strong rays of light. She sat on the edge of her bed and paused for a second. What Ben said yesterday….she didn't know how to react. This was so unexpected from him. As she started to think about their next force meeting, something twisted her guts. She hardly knew why she was feeling so many emotions when thinking of him. She barely knew a man in such an intimate way before and frankly never cared about her appearance. On top of that, he was able to feel what she felt and understand her more than anyone else. It was like they were….one. She took the glass of water on the bedside table and slowly drank it.

Suddenly the picture of his bare chest on Ahch-To crossed her mind. She strangled with the water and coughed taking shallowed breaths. There were several vain attempts to think of something else before she covered her eyes with her hands and laid back on her bed. It was at that exact moment that she felt a shiver running down her spine. Before she could even process what was happening, she felt something warm close to her.

"Oh Force!" she said as the body of a familiar man appeared right next to her in the bed, half naked.

She screeched and swiftly moved back causing her to fall from the bed and bang her head on the bedtable at the same time.

"Ouch!"

Ben looked at her both dumbstruck and sleepy and she stood up, grabbing the bedsheet to cover herself.

"Rey?"

His hair was soft and shiny and she wondered how he could look so handsome after sleeping when she herself looked like a mess every single time. His sleepy voice was deeper than his usual one and she found him even sexier than he already was.

"_Oh Force, get over yourself girl, and don't have such thoughts"_ she thought to herself.

"What thoughts?" he asked.

She screeched again and was genuinely horrified. He stood up from the bed and faced her.

"You have NO right to read my thoughts!"

"I'm not reading them purposefully, you're pretty much screaming them to be honest" the leader said half yawning.

"Kriff!" she said as she rolled her eyes.

She tried desperately to look him in the eyes but no matter how hard she tried, they went back on his chest. She blushed and buried her face in her hands. She silently cursed herself for her lack of control.

"I sense embarrassment. Why?" he asked puzzled.

"It's….just...hum…."

She paused, then breathed and focused on articulating her thoughts.

"...why are you…..uh…..half naked? Can't you be dressed during our ….whatever bond thing we have?" she said pointing at him from head to toe.

He smirked and she realized how stupid she sounded given the circumstances.

"Well...I was sleeping in my bed so…."

"Of….course"

"You're lucky I had clothes on me, I like to sleep naked sometimes" he said in a teasing manner that led her cheek to show ever darker shades of red.

She tried hard to remain focus but her mind kept wandering and she pictured his chest, then down and down until….

"_NO NO NO NO. We're NOT doing that!" _she thought to herself.

"I didn't think me being shirtless would bother you. I thought you'd be used to this"

Rey looked at him offended. She was not sure what he was implying here.

"Excuse me?! Why do you mean by _that_?"

"Well you know...Jakku"

"What about Jakku?"

"You know…. you were there all along, you must have seen men with bare chest in outposts or even been with some guys"

"Kriff Ben! I was not a...I mean...I'm not that kind of woman!" she said frowning as anger rose in her whole body.

"That is not what I was implying"

"Oh really? Then what were you _implying_ then?"

"I mean, you look like…...a….b- a decent woman, I suppose there were men who were courting you"

Ben now faced a Rey who was squinting at him. She let out a sigh.

"I...I didn't have time for those kind of frivolous things, I was focused on surviving. I didn't have friends or ….anything….else" she said embarrassed. "I wasn't around people like you were. Around your Stormtroopers, Hux and from what I've heard that...captain" the latest word came out of her mouth with an almost imperceptible disgust.

"Phasma?"

"Yeah" she spat " I assume being the Supreme Leader offers you advantages with women"

"It's not like I'm friend with the Stormtroopers, I'm their commander, I can't befriend them. Hux….he hates me just as much as I hate him and Phasma follows my orders, we rarely talk to each other aside from First Order matter"

Rey was frowning as Ben suddenly raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she spat.

"It's pretty strange….I can sense you dislike Phasma….why? You don't even know her."

"Why would I? Anyway, I presume there would be a lot of female Stormtroopers that would love to rule with you so you'd have been less lonely than I was" she said as she frowned.

His eyes widened in surprise and then his gaze softened.

"There are" he admitted.

For some reason, this statement almost sunk Rey's heart. He knew that a lot of women would seek power by his side. She wondered if he had considered someone to rule with him. She didn't know why she cared so much, after all, she only knew him for less than few months. The more she thought about it, the more she felt a lump in her throat, unable to put words on that terrible feeling seizing her chest. She was so worried about those new feelings that she didn't notice Ben moving slowly moving towards her. Then, she wiped her thoughts away and noticed Ben, few inches from her, gazing with a rare intensity into her eyes. At that moment, she wanted to move back. She wanted to push him away from her but she just couldn't. She was frozen and those dark eyes were incredibly mesmerizing.

His stare was intense….hungry….longing. Time has stopped for a moment.

"However…." he started as he approached his mouth near her ear.

"...I didn't ask them to rule with me."

In a second, he vanished. She could still feel the warmth of his touch on her skin, the goose bumps….

Rey's heart was pounding like never before and she fell on her knees, acknowledging with sadness her feelings for him. Tears hit the ground followed by both of her fists.

"_I can't…..I can't…..not him…."_ she thought._ "I need to stop feeling this way. This is not right. Only hurt will result from this"_

Two hours later, Rey arrived in the common room for a scheduled meeting. The General, Finn, Rose, Poe and other members were already there. They all had serious looks on their faces.

"Oh Rey! Come close dear. We were talking about our next mission."

"Are you feeling alright Rey?" Finn asked, concerned.

"I am, I am, don't worry. So, what's the plan?" the young girl asked.

Finn was clearly unhappy with her answer and Rose felt it too. Poe walked near the hologram.

"We'll arrive soon on Takodana. I have a meeting with few friends there who could give us intel about the First Order. We will camp in the forest near a village for 5 days, the Falcon draws too much attention"

Rey froze when she heard the word Takodana. This planet was the place where she first encountered….him. Flashes appeared in her mind. A black robe…...a crimson light…..his hand...his voice….. She then shook her head in attempt of making those thoughts disappear in order to stay focus.

"I'll be with you and protect you General"

Leia sighed.

"No. I need you to stay hidden in the Falcon and be ready to pick us up if needed."

"But General, with all due respect, I'd be more useful with you"

"I will have all the men with me and a first group will go for reconnaissance. However, I don't want to let you alone on the ship so commander Dameron will stay with you. We'll land the Falcon in a forest at 5 kilometers from the village."

"Roger" Poe said winking at her.

Rey smiled then lowered her head. She felt useless and wanted to protest but didn't want to upset the General either so she nodded.

"Alright. Everybody get prepared. We've just left hyperspace and will land in 45 minutes" the General calmly said.

Everybody exited the room except Leia. She seemed lost in her thoughts for a moment. As she walked towards the door, she stopped next to Rey and whispered to her.

"Tell my son I still love him and always will"

Rey didn't have time to answer that Leia disappeared behind the automatic door. She looked by the windows. Night has already fallen and some spots of light were visible, marking locations of villages. Takodana was definitely more beautiful by day. She remembered wide green spaces and lakes. It really felt like heaven.

It didn't take long before the Falcon landed. All squads were deployed and the General as left both her and Poe telling them to stay safe. Rey watched the groups walking away until they disappear far away in the deep vegetation.

"We better go inside. It's safer at night. Who knows what kind of creature wander in those woods." Poe said.

He then grabbed her hand. His touch felt….different…..different from Ben's. His hands were smaller too, and less callous. The comparison was not clever, yet she couldn't help it. It feels that every attempt to get Ben out of her mind was doomed to failure. Every single desperate attempt.

"_I have to get rid of these feelings I have for him…."_she resolutely thought.

"Poe? Do you mind...huh...escorting me back to my room?"

Poe's face lightened and he couldn't help but grinning.

"I'd be delighted to"


	3. Chapter 3: Omoide

**Chapter 3: Omoide**

Rey and Poe walked across the corridors of the Falcon until they reached Rey's room. She put her palm on the scanner and the door opened in a hiss. As soon as they got inside, Rey couldn't help but feeling anxious. The door closed behind them and they were now facing each other. She felt that Poe was expecting something to happen and didn't know what to do or say. She was completely lost.

"_That was a bad idea, what the hell did I get myself into…." _she thought to herself.

Before she could say anything or send him off, Poe grabbed her wrist and pulled her close. He put his lips on hers and gently dropped her on the bed.

Rey didn't know what to do. That was her first kiss. She just had her first kiss with someone she didn't even want to kiss in the first place and felt like an idiot. Things were getting out of hand and way too fast. This kiss was passionate but felt wrong on so many levels. On top of her and as he kissed her, he slowly ran his hand under her top. His touch was soft but not as pleasant as she thought it would be. She didn't feel anything, she didn't want him. She realized in shock that at that exact moment, she wanted….

"_Ben" _she thought as she closed her eyes only to see the face of the dark lord.

"Poe…"

The young pilot saw the concern in her eyes.

"Shh, it's okay if it's your first time, I'll be gentle" he said as he softly kissed her neck.

"_Ben"_

As Poe's hand was getting dangerously close to her breast, she closed her eyes. Instead of pushing Poe away or tell him to stop, she caught herself doing something she never thought she could at a moment like this : she thought about _him_. The one haunting her his touch felt on her skin. The warmth...the softness. She closed her eyes and Poe's hands weren't on her anymore, _his_ were. She felt shameful as a moan escaped her mouth thinking of the only person in the universe she shouldn't think of.

"_BEN"_

As a shiver ran down her spine, she suddenly felt free of his weight on her and heard an enormous bang. When she opened her eyes, she saw Ben in the corner of the room arm raised towards the wall. She lowered her gaze and saw Poe, unconscious on the ground. Her eyes widened out of panic, hands still trembling. Ben avoided her stare but it only lasted a moment. She could feel the rage radiating from him as he turned to her.

"I told you to be cautious!" he said, fuming.

She looked at Poe, worried about a concussion. She quickly kneeled near his motionless body to check his pulse.

Ben was getting even angrier noticing her concern.

"He's fine, just unconscious" grinding his teeth.

She sigh in relief and remained kneeled without taking a glance at Ben. His dark aura was spreading in the room to a point it was borderline suffocating.

"How did that happen? Why did you let him go so far that you had to make a distress call?" His voice was bitter.

"It wasn't a distress call" she said without thinking, realizing her mistake too late.

"Why were you calling me out then?"

Ben's body tensed up. His arms were crossed and his eyes did not avert hers. He wanted an answer.

"I...I don't know….I" the young girl stammered.

His impatience was growing and he was tired of her stammerings. Her eyes avoiding his made him want to find out the truth even more. It was without invitation that he brushed her mind, focusing on finding what she was hiding. His roaming remained soft, he was not as insistent as he was in the interrogation room on Starkiller base. No matter how hard he tried, he only met walls except for something. A tiny piece in the corner of her mind she wasn't able to conceal.

"Stop Ben, please" she begged.

"You didn't want him" he said baffled and outraged. "How did that even happen?!"

"I ….I don't know….I ….I asked him to take me to my room and it all…"

"You what?! Rey you can't just ask a guy to….damn!"

She didn't respond. She felt stupid and guilty enough and didn't want him to know the real reason behind her request to Poe. She stormed out of the Falcon followed closely by Ben. Once out, she stared at the sky, trying to soothe herself. The two moons were bright and high in the sky. As she turned around to face Ben, he was unexpectedly eyes closed and focused.

Her scent was delicate and it all felt familiar to Ben. The wood scent, the moss, hers. She smelled like grease and hay with a delicate floral touch. The smell of grease didn't bother him, it reminded him his childhood, playing on board of the Falcon. He couldn't forget the first time he met her in person, the first time his whole world shifted into a whirlwind of emotions. That girl he has seen in dreams for so many years before he even met her, unable to see her face. It was calming and relaxing.

"You're on Takodana" he finally stated.

She looked at him in shock, unable to let a word out of her mouth. He knew her location, the Resistance location. Even if they couldn't see each other's surroundings, she knew that a day would come when their bond would pose a threat to her friends. Her heart thumped hard in her chest as anxiety rose in her.

" Don't worry, I won't chase you down."

"How did you find out my location?" she said as her body slowly relaxed.

"The smell..."

The young woman looked at him perplexed.

"... We met here, in this forest. I remember the smell of the forest with your scent." he calmly said.

Rey who was puzzled at first was now blushing. He remember her...scent?

Ben stiffened as he realized what he just said. Even under the moonlight he could see how her cheeks were flushed into a blazing red. The light underlined her features in such a delicate way that he would have pinched himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming.

"How the hell were you able to smell m-"

"I carried you to my ship after you passed out"

"Last time I checked, I didn't pass out and you used the Force to make me- wait a sec, what do you mean by 'I carried you' ?"

_"Kriff!"_ He thought. And that was his second mistake.

"Aren't your loyal Stormtroopers supposed to do that job? Isn't that a too tedious task for the almighty Kylo Ren?". Her tone had a twist of sarcasm.

" Would you rather have been dragged on the floor Milady?" queried the young man, raising an eyebrow.

Rey rolled her eyes.

"You should be grateful that I took good care of you" he added.

"Says the man who tied me up and violated my mind" she accusingly said.

"We were at war, you were the enemy. I needed the coordinates to Luke"

"Yet Poe and I didn't suffer the same fate from what I've heard. Why?"

He squinted at her and the answer never came. Instead, he changed the topic. She wouldn't understand and he wasn't willing to show his vulnerability.

" You haven't spoken to anyone on your way out of the Falcon. Where is everybody?"

Rey hesitated for a moment and reflected on her answer. He already knew her location so telling the truth wouldn't make any difference now.

"They are on a mission for a while"

"And why is that _thing_ with you?" He sounded like he was ranting.

"His name is Poe"

"He doesn't deserve such consideration, he's an animal."

"He's my friend. He's nice. It was just a misunderstanding that we had earlier. And I….I'm willing to give him a chance"

Ben took a step back, his face displaying a mixture of misunderstanding and anger. Under his cape, his fists were clenched and trembling while rage filled his whole body.

Rey lowered her gaze to the ground. It was easier than looking straight at him.

"The best pilot of the Resistance and the Hope of the Resistance. What a wonderful couple it will make" His tone was acerbic and derisive.

Her eyes became slightly glossy.

"Please, don't make it anymore difficult than it's already is..."

"Alright" he coldly said as he turned his back to her and his body faded away, leaving her with the sounds of the forest as her only company.

"_Ben..."_

Her voice echoed through the bond but only met emptiness. She wanted these feelings to disappear for it made everything more painful. However, she couldn't deny the void he left every time their connection ended. Years of loneliness kicked back in, leaving her soul spiraling in anguish. Finn was her only close friend and though she loved his company, something was missing. A part of her was missing. She spent her whole life relying on no one but herself and now it was as if nothing made sense when he was not around. It was emotionally exhausting.

She religiously walked back to the Falcon, heart as heavy as the gravity of a black hole. When she got in her room, she found Poe sat on her bed, sheepishly scratching his neck.

"Poe, I'm sorry, sometimes the Force is out of my contr-"

"No, I'm the one who owes you an apology Rey. I thought you were sending me signals and I was wrong. I'm truly sorry. How about I cook you dinner tomorrow night to make it up to you?"

"I never say no to food" she said, humorously.

"Perfect then!" he said with the most charming smile. "Goodnight Rey"

"Good night"

As the door closed behind Poe, she moved to the fresher for a quick shower and then jump into her night robe. She lied down on her bed, hands crossed on her stomach and watched the moonlight rays piercing through the window. As she followed the path of the light, she noticed something shiny on the dressing table. She closed her eyes in an attempt to drown her curiosity but it was in vain. The young scavenger got out of bed and walked to the table. She wasn't sure if it was right to open this box since it might contain something private to Leia but the latter did offer her this room so a little peek wouldn't hurt.

She took a deep breath and opened the box. Inside was stored a picture on which she immediately recognize the man of her thoughts. Ben was probably around fifteen years younger. Her fingertips lingered on the photograph.

"Ben" she whispered.

In his room, Ben was lying on his bed, struggling to sleep as usual. Images of the girl kept roaming into his mind endlessly. He went raging mad at the simple thought of this pilot touching her. That man was like a miasma corrupting her pure soul. He has been in his mind, the man was a player. Rey would be another number on his list. The pilot had a perfect face, perfect smile, he was outgoing….an antagonist of himself. He could only hope she would realize he wasn't the right man for her. That night, he fell asleep out of tiredness.

A knock on the door woke him up the next morning.

"Supreme Leader" the Stormtrooper said.

Kylo waved his hand to open the door.

"Speak, and make it quick"

"Supreme Leader, the Intergalactic Celebration will be held tomorrow night in Kiros and your presence is mandatory. The Council requested the attendance of leaders of all clans of all systems. They also stressed that no soldiers and no weapons are allowed as this is a peaceful celebration, no exceptions. However the leader may be accompanied by the person of his or her choice"

Ben sighed. He clearly had a lot of things to do and would rather not go.

"Understood, dismissed"

"Yes Supreme Leader"

The Stormtrooper then left the room. Ben drank some water and got into his fresher for a shower. He let out a sigh as the palm of his hand hit the coldness of the wall. The warm water soon raised its temperature. Warmth… . It always felt that a distant memory but that was until he met her. He has always focused on gaining power and strength but this girl completely turned his world upside down. She was unlike every other girl he has ever met. She was strong, independant, fierce….amazing in everyway.

In the Millenium Falcon, a delicate and mouthwatering smell teased Rey's nose as she was lain on her bed. She stood up and put on one of the dresses she found on the wardrobe. She walked towards the mirror and stared at her reflection. The mid-length yellow dress suited well her complexion. Never in Jakku she would have dreamt of such a life. Having friends, family and….

The picture of Ben crossed her mind. She could hardly describe his place in her life. A friend? A confidant? This bond between them who finds its origins in ancient times, is something that goes beyond everything. A true form of understanding and compassion. She was aware that no matter what she did, the only person in the universe that would get her would be him. Though a part of her hated that idea, another was relieved to feel she would never ever be alone. She raised her hand on her chest while staring at the mirror and took a deep breath. A knock on the door startled her. She turned around and opened the door. Poe was standing there smiling.

"Rey….wow you're really gorgeous"

Rey couldn't help but feeling the flush on her cheeks.

o.o.o.O.o.o.o

On his ship, Ben was sitting on his throne and was listening to another boring report of one of his commanders when he heard a hum. Then, a men's voice reached his ears, very distant but clear. That man he hated….that pilot again. He felt his fists clenching uncontrollably.

"_Rey….wow you're really gorgeous"_

"Commander Arkos, leave the room please, we'll discuss the report later"

"Yes Supreme Leader"

Some blurry image of the Falcon slowly materialized around him but he only could see things from afar, unlike previous force bonds. Then….it all vanished, leaving Ben in a state of deep frustration.

o.o.o.O.o.o.o

Back in the Falcon, Rey was smiling.

"Thank you! But you know, I owe it to Leia, she lend me those clothes. I'm not used to wear this kind of clothes though….not very practical for fighting as you can see"

Poe giggled.

"We can agree on that. Anyway, dinner is ready so will you give me the honor?" he asked stretching out his hand.

Rey froze and her face displayed a blank expression. A flash occured in her thoughts and she froze…..

"_**Join me...please"**_

"Rey? Are you alright?" Poe asked as he waved his hand in front of her face.

Rey shook her head and looked back at a worried Poe. She smiled at him.

"Y-yeah sure….I'm alright" she answered giving him her hand.

They entered the common room which was in the dark. In front of her Rey could see that Poe prepared a table with few candles. She looked at it puzzled.

"Aren't the lights working? I could check if you want"

Poe put his palm on his head and giggled.

"I'm guessing this is your first romantic dinner"

"Well….yeah"

"So, we're in the dark on purpose?"

"Yup!"

Rey sat on the chair, her hands resting on her lap. Poe disappeared from the room then came back with a plate on which the food was very well dressed. He placed it in front of her. It smelled quite good.

"Thank you"

"Have a bite and tell me what you think of it!"

She awkwardly took the fork. It was something she wasn't used to eat with but she would rather not eat with her fingers in front of him and show some "manners". The texture was quite strange in her mouth. It did taste better than the rations she was used to but it didn't taste like something really exquisite either. It actually smelled better than it tasted.

"It's delicious, thank you" she said, smiling at him.

"Glad you like it girl!"

His face suddenly became more serious. He laid his hand on hers.

"Rey…..I wanted to apologize my behavior yesterday. I think old habits die hard. It's the first time I…"

He took a deep breath.

"...I have feelings for someone and I'm afraid to fuck everything up. I mean, you're beautiful, strong and amazing and I never quite met a woman like you"

Rey blushed of embarrassment. She knew that he was exaggerating. She was just a scavenger who happened to feel the Force, not some kind of amazing hero.

"I'm sorry...that was too straightforward"

"No no, it's alright , really. I'm glad you trust me enough to open up"

Poe was intensely staring at her as if he waited for her to speak. She hoped he would talk about a subject….any would do, but he didn't. His eyes wouldn't leave hers.

"So...huh….how do you feel? About me I mean?" he asked

That is when he totally caught her off guard. How was she going to respond to that?

"I…..I… don't know….I've been spending my whole life alone until now. I'm not sure I know how to love someone that way and I don't know what it's like to be with someone you know…"

"If you want you could try being my girlfriend and if you like it, we could go on"

"I...uh…"

She thought that maybe she should give it a shot. She had to do whatever it takes to make those odd feelings she had for Ben vanish. She was desperate and had nothing to lose trying. After all, Poe was nice and seemed sincere about his feelings.

"...sure. We could try I guess. It's all new for me though, you'll need to guide me"

"Well, I say we just go with the flow and see where it takes us"

Rey smiled at him.

"Oh by the way Rey, we received a message from Leia. Tomorrow night, there will be an Intergalactic Celebration. Leia asked you to represent her there. It'll be held in Kiros, expansion zone. You will likely spend the night there"

"But I don't have-"

" She said there is a dress in the wardrobe in your room." Poe said, winking at her.

"Oh thanks Force! I don't have any clothes besides….my usual ones and those aren't fit for formal meetings" she said.

Poe smiled at her then looked at Rey dearly, making her uncomfortable.

"Do I have food on my face?"

"No….I was just thinking that …...you are really beautiful Rey. This color suits you" he said.

"Oh…hum….thanks" she said scratching her neck.

Somehow she thought that she would have felt something hearing something so sweet from him but she felt nothing. She was waiting for butterflies in her stomach, just as she read in holonet when she was young, but she felt nothing of that sort.

"I'll go to the celebration with you if you'll have me. I'm of no use here, all soldiers are with the General and there is no apparent threat in the village from what they told me earlier through the comlink"

"That'd be great. I'm not used to this kind of events so a teacher would be great."

Poe solemnly bowed to her.

"It will be an honor."

She giggled as she walked towards the corridor.

"Oh and thank you for the dinner Poe. It was really good! I'll go to sleep if you don't mind, I'm a bit tired."

Poe grabbed her hand, lean towards her and put a kiss on her cheek.

"No problem. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams Poe"


	4. Chapter 4: Lucky Seven

**Chapter 4: Lucky Seven**

The following day wasn't a busy one. She removed few porg nests out of the kitchen compartment in the Falcon and made some adjustments to the propulsor. Looking at the sky she wondered if Ben would come to the Celebration as she hardly could picture him among lots of people. One hour before departure, she went to her room to get ready .Rey took the dress out of the wardrobe and hang it on the wall. She never dreamt of wearing something so luxurious. The dress looked like a Queen's: off the shoulder, short sleeves and the color was a beautiful light phtalo blue. There was a slight cleavage in the front and a wider one at the back, both outlined by a gorgeous lace. The cloth was fluid and light; it was a real regal dress. She remembered at that moment that Leia was from royalty.

"Wait a minute….that means Ben is actually a…."

"_Prince_" she thought.

She laid down on her bed, holding her pillow tight as she was remembering every inch and mole of his face. After sighing loudly then finally got up to put on her dress and some jewels that were on the box next to the wardrobe. Her hand grabbed the hairbrush and she did her hair; two buns this time and the last half of her hair loose and wavy. Moving towards the mirror, she barely recognized herself. When she was done getting ready, she joined the young resistance pilot in the cockpit whose eyes widened in awe as he saw her.

"You're… you look….wow!"

"You're very elegant yourself Poe"

"Well….this is officially our second date so I made an effort y'know" he said winking at her.

It's with deep embarrassment that she smiled at him.

She entered the coordinates of Kiros as the Falcon took off and they went through hyperspace. The flight was shorter than she expected. She looked outside and saw a beautiful green planet. She thought no planet would be greener than Takodana but obviously she was wrong. After entering atmosphere, endless plains, forests ,waterfalls and rivers were noticeable. She kept thinking how little of the galaxy she knew. Spending her childhood stuck on an arid planet surely didn't help at all. There were so many places to explore, an entire life wouldn't suffice.

They arrived near the landing path of the building. There stood a huge old style mansion dressed with probably hundreds of spotlights outside. A lot of people were already there. Poe signed an arrival paper and both headed to the entrance. The man checking identities at the door asked them to pick up a folded papers in a glass bowl. Hers had golden papers and Poe's had shiny green ones. She unfolded the paper and saw a "7" written on it. She peeked at Poe's paper; he had a "26"on his. Her questioning eyes led him to answer by raising his shoulders.

Ben arrived at the Mansion accompanied by Phasma. He barely had a choice. All female stormtroopers were going crazy about wanting to go with him and he surely couldn't show up alone at the Celebration. He needed to convey a better image of the First Order. They arrived in the entry hall and were greeted by an officer checking their names. They went through all formalities and moved their way to the main hall.

There was a long aisle at the end of which a small crowd was at each side of the aisle talking until the President of the Council stood up from his chair and requested attention.

"Attention please. Thank you everyone for coming to this Celebration that aims to promote peace.I hope you will all enjoy this evening. Please eat, drink and dance all you want. I will now call each leader one by one so they can be introduced. Please walk down the central aisle when your name is called. Thank you very much. "

The President of Council started his list of names and the couples marched down the aisle.

Suddenly, Ben felt it. A Force signature._Her_ Force signature. She was there.

"Rey" he whispered.

"Now, representing General Organa from the Resistance, Rey and Commander Poe Dameron" said the President.

Ben made an about-turn and his eyes laid on the divine appearance walking at the start of the aisle. He could tell she wasn't feeling comfortable with all those people looking at her. Maybe it was the lighting that was highlighting her magnificent features; he didn't know but he was completely captivated by her. An ethereal beauty. However, his teeth clenched when he noticed who was next to her. Rey's hand was resting on this stupid pilot's forearm. At this moment, he realized in fear that he wanted to take this man's place. It was childish. Jealousy was for the weakest of minds. He tried to calm down but his blood was boiling at each step the couple was taking. This man didn't deserve someone as powerful and amazing as her.

Rey walked down the aisle with Poe and almost felt sick. Everyone was looking at her. She wasn't used of being the center of attention. As they were halfway to the aisle, she jolted as she felt a shift in the Force. _He_ was there. Ben was there.

"Ben" she whispered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, sorry"

Once they reached the end of the aisle, Rey went upstairs to the hall's balcony, hoping to get a better view. Poe followed her and both waited there. The list went on and suddenly…

" Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and Commander Phasma from the First Order"

Her heart skipped a beat as she saw him walking down the aisle and tightened when she saw the woman at his side. He was so elegant and was dressed like a king. All black as usual. Phasma was wearing a long red dress and looked stunning. As he walked past a group of girls, she made a face seeing them chattering, giggling and swooning. It was nauseating to see women stooping to admire someone who was encouraging a despotic regime to be brought upon the Galaxy.

"_Who am I kidding here? He looks so handsome and so…..regal"_ she thought frustrated _**"**__I am no better than those girls…."_

"Well, who knew there was such a gorgeous woman under that armor" Poe said sarcastically.

"Well I never saw her in armor but yes she is indeed beautiful" . The pilot noticed Rey lowering her head.

"Hey Rey, don't you worry, you're way more beautiful than she is" he said kissing the top of her hand. "You're beauty outstands those of any women in this building"

Rey smiled at him. Poe was sweet and caring as usual but though she knew he was just boosting her confidence, she couldn't help but facing the obvious flaws of her own body. She contemplated the possibility of living a normal life away from everything. Away from the war. She could run away with Poe and both of them could live on a secluded planet, raising a family. She could and she probably should but was it really what she wanted? Somewhere, deep inside her heart, she felt that something about him was...off.

Once the introduction of all leaders was done, the President took the floor.

"You might all wonder what those numbers you were asked to pick up at the entrance are for. Well, they will pair couples for the traditional opening waltz. The hologram on the wall behind me will show your pairing."

As the president was speaking, a hologram table with names light up behind him. As she read through the list she saw her name next to Kylo Ren. Both got number 7. Her heart stopped and she felt a mixture of anticipation and stress.

Poe stood there in shock.

"You've got to be kidding me! There must be a mistake. There no way they're gonna force you to dance with that monster and-"

Poe was getting more and more agitated then Rey landed her hand on his shoulder.

"Poe. I need you to calm down. This Celebration's aim is to promote peace. We can't just make a scene here. It's okay. I can handle it. Promise me you won't make a scene or hurt anyone." she said holding his hand tightly.

Poe hesitated for a moment and sighed.

"Alright. But if anything happens to you, I swear I'm gonna kill him." he warned as he walked away.

Poe went downstairs looking for his dance partner. She watched him go and saw the orchestra getting ready to play. Lights dimmed a bit to create a warm atmosphere and all the screens were turned off. She searched for Ben looking downwards in the hall but he was nowhere to be found.

"Rey"

The familiar voice made her jolt and she turned to face the man haunting her dreams and soul.

"Ben". Her voice was like a whisper.

He offered his forearm so they could head to the dancefloor. Rey tried her best not to shake as she grabbed it and both headed downstairs.

"This is one of my old mother's dresses"

Somehow, his tone was quite cold and he seemed irritated. She wondered if it was because he didn't like to dance or because he was still mad from their last Force meeting.

"It is. She told me to wear it."

"I see"

They both stepped on the dancefloor and the music began. Rey was petrified realizing she would have to dance. She has never practiced it and only watched it on the holonet maybe twice in her life.

"Ben, I should tell you….I….I don't know how to dance at all. When I came here I didn't know I would need to dan-"

One of his hand grabbed her hand and the other softly landed on her lower back, pulling her closer. She gasped and gulped as she felt electricity running in her whole body. His hand felt warm through her clothes and made her whole body shudder. His face was neutral but his gestures were filled with tenderness, as if he was handling something really fragile.

"Just follow my lead" he said softly.

And the moves began. Ben was leading her, slowly spinning from time to time. It was easier than she expected. She didn't have to do anything and was following his gestures. Balance... harmony of two bodies... just like in the Throne room when they fought against the Pretorian Guards. He was a very good dancer. She wondered if he learned to dance when he was young, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, the acknowledgement of his hand kicked her in and made her cheek flush.

"I see you came with that…._pilot_" he bitterly said.

"I see you came with Phasma" she responded with the same amount of bitterness.

"I didn't have a choice"

"Neither did I"

"Jealous?" he asked, lips drawing a smirk.

"Pshh, you wish!"

Her frowning vanished when she saw his eyes diving into hers. While his whole face had a indifferent expression -probably not to draw attention of people around-, his eyes were devoid of cold or anger. With her high heels, she was taller and could feel his warm breath on her nose. Their face were close….so close. Rey's leg were ready to give up at any moment due to overwhelming emotions.

Ben felt as if there was no one in the room. It was her … only her... just like in Force bonds. The touch of her hand was something he couldn't get enough of and he already feared the moment they would have to part. However, something caught his attention through the bond.

"You're nervous" he said to her.

"I'm not"

"You can lie to anyone but me, you know that; I can sense what you feel"

The song was already ending. His hand left hers and moved upward to slowly raise her chin.

"Why are you nervous Rey?"

Rey couldn't help but looking at his lips and she blushed when she noticed he saw it.

"Stop it!" she said as she pushed him away, withdrawing herself from him.

She ran across the hall to find Poe. The latter has just finished his dance with a Twi'lek girl from a foreign delegation. The young man grabbed her shoulders.

"Rey….is everything alright?" he asked noticing her nervousness.

"Yeah. I...I'll go to the bathroom if you don't mind."

Poe let her go and gave a enraged look at Ben who answered by a stern one.

It took forever to Rey to find a bathroom. The mansion was huge and she wondered who would built such a big house when herself has been living in a small one. As she wandered in the empty dark corridors, a light caught her eyes. She open a door and found herself in a balcony full of greeneries. Lots of small glowing insects were hovering on the hanged flowers. The sight was magical. She moved towards the balustrade and looked at the landscaped in awe. The rivers and waterfall were shining with the light of the moons. This place was the opposite of her home planet. Water in abundance, green fields, plants, fertile soils….

"You didn't answer me earlier" said a familiar voice behind her.


	5. Chapter 5: Denial

**CHAPTER 5: Denial**

Rey screeched and jolted.

"Kriff Ben! You scared me!"

"You have poor reflexes, you were so lost in your thoughts you didn't hear me coming." he said as he walked towards her l in a predatory manner.

His hand reached his lightsaber and he ignited it.

"I could have killed you"

"I thought weapons were not authorized here" she said looking at his lightsaber in his hand.

" They made an exception, a lot of people want me dead" he said as he reached his lightsabers and ignited it.

" I'm wondering why…" she said with a smug smile.

She then remained silent as he approached; the red of his saber mirroring in his eyes. She should have felt afraid but she was not. She has never been afraid of Ben. Rey kept looking at him in a boldly manner that was almost amusing to him.

Ben kept drawing closer. He turned off his saber and put his hands on the balustrade on each side of the young woman to trap her. He leaned towards her, eyes filled with hunger and searching something in her eyes. This moment seemed like an eternity. His face was now inches from hers.

"I sense nervousness from you….why is that?"

Not a word from the scavenger who kept eluding his questions.

"Why are you nervous with me and not with him? Tell me." he calmly asked.

"Stop doing that" Rey said, frowning.

"Doing what?"

"Playing with me like that, getting close to me, it makes me uncomfortable"

"You have no problem with it when this stupid pilot does it"

"It's not the same"

"Oh really? How so?"

"Just stop it "

The fact that she was blatantly denying what was happening between them kept fueling his impatience. He drew his mouth close to her ear to whisper.

"I want to know…. why your heart is racing right now"

He tried to push through her mind but she resisted as hard as she could. She didn't want him to know, she had to conceal it.

"_NO!_" she screamed in her mind, erecting her mental walls and blowing his consciousness out of her head.

Rey was panting due to the effort. As she looked back at him, she slapped him but he barely move. He kept staring intensely at her but slightly withdraw himself.

Both heard footsteps getting closer and soon Poe appeared at the door.

" What the…..GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER"

Ben turned around, rage burning in his eyes._ How dare he…._

"SAY THAT AGAIN?" Ben screamed raising his hand towards Poe.

Poe's feet raised from the ground and he put his hand on his throat gasping for air.

"STOP!" Rey screamed at him.

"Can't...you just fairly…. fight like…. a REAL MAN?" Poe said to him, struggling to breath.

Ben could feel that his blood was now reaching the boiling point. He released Poe from his Force choke and waited for him to get back on his feet, clipping his saber to his waist. He got his fist ready and lunged towards the pilot who, himself, was getting ready for the fight.

Suddenly, one meter away from his target, he was forced to stop..

Rey was standing between him and Poe.

"PLEASE KYLO STOP!"

His arm slowly lowered on his side as he heard that name coming out of her mouth.

"_Kylo_, is that it?" he whispered loud enough for her to hear but low enough so Poe wouldn't.

"Don't hurt him, I care about him" the young girl said avoiding his stare in shame.

Ben felt each of his fingers becoming numb. He slowly went back to a normal posture and looked at Rey. His eyes displayed a feeling of betrayal.

"Well….congratulations to both of you" Ben said

He gave her a sarcastic smirk but one that was deeply imbued with sadness. He then skirted them and his dark silhouette exited the balcony.

Rey was frozen and when Poe noticed her blank stare, he put his hands on her shoulders.

"This guy is completely crazy! Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Did he-"

"I'm alright Poe. He did nothing to me" she said, borderline annoyed.

"What did he tell you exactly?"

"We...we were just talking about peace and we disagreed on some points"

"It seemed like he was harassing you though judging by his posture. Why did you even let him get so close to you?"

She didn't know what to answer. She looked away in shame. She had to lie. What choice did she have anyway? If he knew the truth or if Finn knew….they would turn their backs on her for sure; especially Poe, who underwent mental torture from him. What would she say? That she has a fondness for bad boys? Since when does she have fondness for anything anyway? No one has ever caught her attention before and yet she has seen so many men in her life. Could it be that the Force bond they shared was the foundation of the relationship they share now? Were these feelings made by the Force?

"I...I was caught by surprise" she said.

"Is there something you're not telling me Rey?". His tone was suspicious.

" There is nothing don't worry. I'm just a bit tired" she said as she laid a kiss on his cheek.

" Does this have something to do with the fact you're not kissing me? On the lips I mean."

His question startled her.

" I….it's all new for me this….boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I need time to….adjust"

She could feel his disappointment and she herself was finding odd that she wouldn't naturally kiss him on the lips, as any lover would do. It seemed Poe wasn't convinced either with that answer.

"Alright then. Let's have few talks with folks and then we can head back to our rooms"

She couldn't help but faking a smile. His eyes were everything she had in mind. As she talked to people, she kept looking for him around but no sight of him. It seemed he already went to his room for the night. About an hour later, Poe walked her to her room, noticing her tiredness.

Rey changed her clothes and put up a nightgown. Poe insisted that they have one room for two but she wanted a room for herself. She wasn't ready to share a room with a man yet; not after everything that has happened lately.

She kept turning around in her bed, unable to find a proper position to sleep. She kept overthinking about things that happened. Ben was still on her mind.

"_Damn ...can't this man get out of my head already!_" she thought, mentally exhausted.

She kept cogitating for a moment. She knew he was mad at her but a part of her didn't like that. Her words caused him pain, she felt it even though he concealed it when facing Poe. His pain felt like hers.

Rey got out of her bed and grabbed a kimono. She found herself walking through the long corridor. Lights were dimmed and with each step she wondered if she was right to do what she was doing but she wanted to see him….she _needed_ to see him. Something was pulling her to him; something she couldn't quite explain. It was almost stronger than her own will.

The names on the doors were passing before her eyes with every step she took and soon she stopped. Before her, a wide door, wider than her own with golden letters on it.

"Supreme Leader Kylo Ren"

She raised her hand to knock but hesitated. She was about to head back to her quarters but something stopped her. Questions kept crossing her mind. What if his captain was with him? In his room? Sharing his bed? Her heart tightened and she wondered why she felt sick with the idea of him having another woman. She clenched her fist and it took all the courage she had to knock on his door. The clicking of the door resonated in the deserted corridor and the door opened. With a deep breath, she crossed the threshold of his quarters.


	6. Chapter 6: Morpheus

**Chapter 6: Morpheus**

Rey entered the room and close the door behind her. At her own surprise, the room was empty but some noise was coming from the bathroom. She smiled at the thought of using the Force to open the door. That was something she didn't even thought of doing.

" I...hum...it's me" she said.

His silhouette emerged from the fresher room. Rey gulped as she saw him and knew she should avert her gaze but she just couldn't. All of his hair was wet and he was wearing only a black towel around the waist. A smaller black towel was resting around his neck which he was using to pat on his wet hair. Her eyes lowered on the drops of water running down his chest, slowly diverted with each shaped muscle encountered. His body was full of scars, including the one she gave him and somehow it was making him more attractive than he already was. At that moment she couldn't help but feel an uncontrollable pool of heat rising inside of her.

"I...I'm sorry...I can come back once you're dressed" she said heading to the door.

Ben waved his hand and the door locked itself. Rey faced him trying her best not to look at the man in front of her. She could feel his insistent look on her.

"Why are you here?"

His tone was as cold as space.

"I needed to talk to you about earlier"

"There is nothing to discuss. You should go back to your room or your _man_ will wonder where you are" Ben said, feeling his anger and bitterness rising with each word coming out of his mouth.

"Ben…."

"Oh we're back to Ben now?"

A hint of disgust wrapped his voice as he closed the distance between them with few steps.

"Let me guess…. I bet you didn't tell him about the bond, am I right?"

She frowned, lowering her head in shame and his hand then raised her chin.

"Yeah….that's what I thought. I'm wondering though why you're keeping it a secret ?"

He stared at her as if he was searching the answer in her eyes.

"Aaah" he said , arching his eyebrows.

"You're afraid…...afraid that your friend will turn their backs on you. Such a close bond with the enemy ….it would jeopardize your position in the Resistance I assume. It would be a serious threat" he said pacing around her with his arms crossed.

Her vision was getting blurry as the tears filled up her eyes.

"You keep denying what is happening between us. The bond….everything." he said facing her and moving forward.

Rey stepped back as he approached until her back hit the hard wall. She was cornered and his face was only inches from her. Her heart rate plummeted and her breath was shallow. His scent was getting more and more intoxicating. It was sweet and musky.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she whispered looking away.

"I'm talking about the fact that despite everything you told me, you don't share a room your so-called lover and here you are….. in a stranger's room in the middle of the night"

"You're not a stranger Ben…"

"I am to him and to your friends. I am a monster"

"You're not a-"

He lowered his mouth close to her temple.

" Tell me…." Ben added in a velvet voice "What would your lover think of you being here? With a monster..."

At that moment she remembered Luke's words.

"_You opened yourself up to the Dark Side for a pair of pretty eyes"_

Did she really do that? She couldn't help but wondering why the Dark Side was so seductive, so tempting. She wanted to be a Jedi but deep inside she was hesitating. No attachment, no family, no love. She wanted to belong, she wanted to love. No more lonely nights and endless days. Above all, she wanted the single thing she never had: a family.

He slowly brushed his fingers on her cheek. She slightly tilted her head at his contact, savoring the warmth of his touch. His lips were almost touching hers. His body was slightly leaned on hers. Then, she felt something hardening on her thigh and at that moment, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep control any longer. That was too much to handle . In a swift movement ,she pushed him away and ran to the door.

"I...I have to go. Goodnight Ben." she said with a panting breath as she left the room.

In a second, she unlocked it and disappeared in the dark corridor. Ben sat on his bed, hands on his face. He lost so much control with her. This girl triggered sensations in his body that he could no longer deny. She was his weakness, she has always been since the beginning. The more he thought about her, the more he wanted to be by her side….to touch her….to feel her….

"The pull to the Light, huh?" he whispered to himself.

He pulled the blanket and laid on his bed. The hardness of his lower region made his sigh. He slipped his hand under the blanket and let his mind wander into lustful thoughts. The tan of her skin, her freckles….all of her. Each centimeter of her skin feeling like heaven. His pleasure reached its peak in a whisper.

"Rey" he said before falling asleep few minutes later.

Rey was lying on her bed trying to sleep when she felt warmth with a hint of pleasure rushing through her whole body. She then heard a distant whisper in her head saying her name. His voice….

What she felt through the bond was pleasure and he was whispering her name.

"_Is he…." _she thought.

Her cheeks went to an instant flush with the sudden realization of what he was doing thinking about her. Heat rose in her whole body and she could soon feel the wetness between her thighs. She pressed her legs together and tried to think of something else to get to sleep, but she just couldn't and saw flashes before her eyes….his eyes closed, his teeth biting his lips, his body stiffening, his muscles contracting and his hand going down on his….

Her heart hammered and soon she felt the warmth becoming more and more aching in her lower body. Force knows the was tempted to let her hand reach it and surrender to this sweet pleasure but she shook her head to sober up. She took a deep breath trying to control her emotions and feelings and it was in a sigh a couple of minutes later that she eventually fell asleep.

Rey was deeply immersed in her dreams. She was sat on a hill on a beautiful planet. The glare of the sun on the lake in front of her was almost blinding. She felt the warmth of a body holding her and as she turned her head to acknowledge the belonging of these arms she saw Ben. Something however was different. He was wearing beige clothes and seemed at peace.

Perfection….it felt like perfection. She belonged in his arms more than she would ever admit. She moved to face him and without an ounce of hesitation, Ben captured her lips with his. Shocked at first, her body slowly relaxed and she returned his kiss with a fever she never thought she could exhibit.

"_It just a dream after all"_ she thought and that fueled her confidence.

Her hand was running through his dark locks and his neck. She could feel her whole body shivering as he brushed his hand under her top to explore the skin underneath. Ben laid light but nonetheless hungry kisses on her collarbone. It felt so much different than what she experienced with Poe. Every sensation was way more transcendent and to the point she felt as if her body would implode. Even though she never kissed him, his lips felt so familiar. Her senses increased tenfold, allowing her to feel every texture of his lips and tongue. He kept laying on her body as if he was worshipping it.

The dream soon vanished in a blur and Rey opened her eyes. Her breath was still panting and she soon felt ashamed of herself for having these sort of concupiscent dreams. The shame intensified as she felt the wetness dripping between her thighs and she muffled under her blanket, cursing at the Force. Rays of sun was piercing though the window of her room, illuminating the golden pillow next to hers.

"_How am I supposed to keep this vision from him now…."_ she thought, anxiety arising in her.

In his quarters, Ben opened his eyes with a heavy breath and felt under his fingertips the softness of his silk sheets. His body was still hot as ambers, craving for more. He swore he could still smell the sweetness of her sweat even though it was just a dream. That scavenger would be the death of him.

Rey got dressed as soon as her shower was done and decided to take a walk around the nearby lake. The weather was quite fine and the wind was a very welcomed caress on her skin. She sat in the lakeside throwing pebbles in the water one after the other. Then as she throw another one, the pebble just stopped just above the water and floated in the air back to her.

"Ben…." she said in a sigh.

"Why are you here all alone?"

"People sometimes need to be alone to think, that's the purpose of walking _alone_"

Her tone filled with exasperation didn't seem to disturb the man in front of her.

" Following women like this is really creepy you know. I hope you're being more subtle with your First Order women"

"Don't give yourself too much importance, I was simply going for a walk"

Irritation kept growing wilder in the young women who stood up to face him.

" Anyways, I thought you'd be immune to loneliness since leaving Jakku" he calmly said.

"Well, you thought wrong"

Ben raised an eyebrow at her, quite amused.

"You know that I know you don't mean that and yet you still try….interesting"

She stood up and walked towards him clenching her fists to contain herself. She shoved her finger in his chest.

"You need to STOP doing that! Whatever is in my mind, it is private!"

"You know I don't control it"

She knew it was true but she couldn't help getting angrier. She started pacing out of rage and then suddenly stopped.

"This _has_ to stop"

Rey turned her back to him, determined to head back to her room when he grabbed her wrist.

"The only thing that needs to stop is you lying to yourself"

"I'm not lying to myself. Stop acting as if you know me! And stop touching me as you please, I'm not one of your First Order's whores!" she said yelling at him and freeing herself from his grip.

Things started to become more and more heated and Rey's mental walls started to crumble due to anger taking over her mind. Gradually, images flowed in Ben's mind through the bond forming images and flashing rapidly. The dream...she had it too. It wasn't his dream, it was theirs. Her stubbornness was driving her in blatant denial but he couldn't take it anymore.

"You didn't mind me touching you last night" he said dryly.

Rey froze. She took a step back, hands shaking in total shock.

"_How…"_ she thought.

"YOU MANIPULATED MY DREAMS!" she yelled as golden shades briefly lightened her iris .

"You willingly gave yourself to m-"

Ben was cut off as she raised her hand and force-pushed him meters away.

"IT MEANT NOTHING!" she yelled at him.

He shamelessly was amazed by her strength and his eyebrows rose in unison. Then, the young Leader slowly stood up patting his clothes with a smirk as he walked back towards her.

"Does it? Rey, I didn't do anything"

"You're lying! You are vile and always scheming"

Her tone was sarcastic at most.

"Read my mind if you want. I have nothing to hide. But I should warn you, I have quite vivid images from last night in there" he said stopping right in front of her.

Rey frowned.

"You disgust me!" she spat

He moved closer to her until his face was few inches from her. His stature was imposing but she didn't flinch a bit. Her angry eyes still locked on his.

"Do I?" he asked with a husky voice.

She wanted to pull herself away from him but it felt like her feet were rooted to the ground. She could feel the Force humming in harmony due to his proximity with her. The Force wanted them to be together but couldn't have created a more cruel dilemma. The leader of the First Order and the Hope of the Resistance, two opposite sides of a coin. She was losing composure little by little with every inch lost between them.

"Do you feel it?...The Force….it is balanced when we're together"

He moved his hand closer to hers, almost brushing them and he felt she was about to recoil.

"I'm not touching you if you don't want to but I'd like to show you something if you allow me to" he softly said.

The sincerity in his voice made her internal combat even more difficult. The whole universe was pushing her towards him but her brain was telling her she couldn't. She was usually stronger but this time, her inquisitive mind won and she couldn't deny that a part of her wanted to touch him, to feel her skin against his.

Ben slightly moved backwards and offered his bare palm. He could feel her conflict and kept searching for a sign in her eyes.

She slowly moved her shaky hand towards his.

At the touch she felt goosebumps through all of her body. Her eyes instantly closed and her lips slightly parted. She often used to hear about drugs and their effects in outposts, like savorian herb for example, but she couldn't grasp how something could be so addictive. Now she got it. She was savoring every inch on his skin. The warmth was comforting and never felt so right. It quenched the thirst of her deserted heart. Years of loneliness, craving for human connection and human touch. Dirt levitated around them.

In a surge of confidence, Ben brushed her skin until her elbow and moved closer.

Rey, startled, moved back panting and could feel his frustration through the bond.

"This….this is wrong. Ben...I'm part of the Resistance"

"Your loyalty lies with the Resistance but what would happen if they happen to discover the bond between us? Have you thought about that?"

"Of course I did and I want to believe that they will still be by my side"

"You're delusional"

Tears were now beading her eyelashes and magnified her beautiful hazel eyes in which he could have dived in. Though each of her tears felt like a burning agony, he couldn't help but being amazed at her beauty.

"Why? Because I think that people have a heart? Well, maybe I trust people too easily but in the end I'm not miserable like you!"

"I'm the ruler of an Order, I'm far from being miserable" Ben said clenching his fists as rage stormed inside of him.

"And look where it led you! You're all alone because you don't trust people!" she yelled at him

"A lot of people cannot be trusted and I'm not willing to waste my time in searching the few that can be"

"I truly pity you for having that much prejudice towards others"

"I'm being realistic and it surely does less hurt than being naive Rey. Your naivety made you wait for parents who abandoned you, my naivety made me believe that I could have decent parents and family but look at where we are now! Both of our parents abandoned us! My own uncle tried to kill me!"

Streaks of tears fell down her cheekbone.

" Maybe you didn't have your parents with you but at least they loved you! They CARED about you! I HAD NO ONE BEN, NO ONE. If I had died back then, I wouldn't have been missed by anyone!"

Ben stood still and couldn't do anything more than contemplating the wreak havoc he just made. He hated seeing her crying. He could feel her anger, sadness, emptiness…..everything as if it was his own. Somehow she wasn't wrong but admitting she was right would question a lot of his past actions and he couldn't allow that. Not now. Not after he sacrificed so much to be in his position. Resigned, he watched her silhouette shrinking as she left him, walking back to the mansion and heavy-hearted.

Back in her room, Rey sat on her bed wiping away her tears. She gave a look to the Jedi texts then grabbed the HoloNet on the bedside table. After few taps on the screen, an old familiar woman appeared on the Holo.

"Rey! How are you?"

"Hi Maz! Well...I'm okay . I hope I'm not bothering you . How are you?"

"You would never bother me dear! I'm feeling good these days but I do miss my wookie! So what gives me the honor of your call?" she asked adjusting her glasses.

"I need your help. Have you ever heard of...Force bonds?"

"I've seen lots of things in my life so yes, I happen to know few things about those"

"I was wondering if you knew how to sever it by any chance?"

Maz's face displayed curiosity.

"Well you cannot stop such a bond from existing, it's for life. However, you can temporarily close it by shutting yourself off from the Force. But I should warn you, Force bonds are extremely powerful and severing them means it will feel like losing a part of yourself. When Force bonds two people, it is for a reason. Why do you ask about those?"

"It's….I've seen it in old Jedi books so I was wondering"

Maz squinted at her.

"Riiiight…." the old woman, eyes full of suspicion.

"Anyway, thank you for the help Maz, I'll owe you one when I see you. Bye"

"Better get here soon then girl! See you!"


	7. Chapter 7: Night Owl

**Chapter 7: Night Owl**

She turned off the HoloNet and let herself fall in her bed, thoughts miles away. She won't be able to sever the bond forever but she could try for a while and that would meant cutting herself off of the Force. She didn't know how she would be able to do that. She knew she needed practice and took the resolution to start as soon as possible. She turned to the windows contemplating the sky that was turning in amber colors bathing the entire room in a warm aura.

When the two suns set, Poe brought her some tea in her room with a warm smile. She felt he wanted to talk but resisted doing so. They barely exchanged few words and there she was again alone in her room. She spent one hour in the old Jedi texts trying to decipher some scripture about Force-shields when she heard a knock on the door.

She walked to the door and opened it slowly.

"Poe, did you forget someth-"

She gasped, mouth half-opened out of surprise as she saw Ben standing there bare-chested, only wearing black pajamas pants.

Ben didn't wait for her to regain composure and dove into her bedroom. Rey, startled at first sobered up and ran to him, grabbing his arm.

"Hey! You can't come here as you please!"

"Your room is way more appointed than mine" he said gazing at every single object in the room before facing the bed.

"You need to get out of here"

She moved in front of him, hands on his naked torso to push him away but she couldn't even make him move a bit.

Ben looked at her breathless beauty shining at the soft glow of the candlelight. He wondered how someone could be so delicate yet powerful at the same time. It felt like he's been waiting for her all his life. Meeting her was his awakening and though he thought turning to the Dark Side would have make him feel fulfilled, it didn't meet his expectations; he wasn't complete. The young scavenger filled an emptiness, a void that has been wrapped around his soul for a long time now. Having all the power of the Galaxy would be pointless if he couldn't be by her side. He wondered so many times if it was the Force bond that made him feel this way…..giving him a weakness, but such a beautiful one. He then realized that it might just be her who was magnificent in every way.

Ben grabbed both of her wrists and pushed her on the bed pinning her wrists at both sides of her head. Rey started to wriggle trying to get away from his grip. The more she struggled, the more the cleavage of her dark grey night robe revealed her breast. When she noticed his pause and insisting hungry stare going down her chest, her cheeks turned scarlet in an instant.

" Hey! Stop looking at me like a bantha look at fresh grass field!"

Ben's eyes met hers again and he tried as hard as he could not to laugh at what she was saying but Rey noticed how this amused him.

" .go!" she whispered as a warning, frowning.

" Use the Force, you can push me away, you mental abilities are stronger than you physical ones" he softly said.

"What kind of sick games are you play-" she asked outraged

"Use the Force and focus!"

She looked at him and could see he wasn't playing, he was dead serious.

"I want you to be able to defend yourself in case of an assault like this, that's totally the ways of people like that goddamn pilot"

" At least if I told him to let me go , he would!" she spat.

Ben felt thousands of needles going through his chest as jealousy took him over.

"Focus" he growled.

Ben genuinely wanted her to improve her abilities and get even more skilled, she wanted to elevate her to the greatest warrior of the galaxy. He wanted to see her fierce, unstoppable. She could become an stunning Force user but she needed good teaching. She was like a raw Kyber crystal waiting to be polished.

Rey closed her eyes and tried to focus but all she could think of was his smell, her leg trapped between his, his hands on her skin…

"I …. I can't" she grumbled.

He smirked as he grasped a glimpse of her thoughts then with one hand he proceeded to move his hand from her knee to the inside of her thighs. Rey couldn't help but shiver at his touch and feel waves of pleasure flowing in her lower abdomen. Her heart was hammering.

" Do you really want me to stop?"

Rey was confused. She couldn't think clearly and all her senses was stimulated.

"Yes" she let out weakly in an attempt to hide her moan.

"You're not very convincing you know" he whispered to her ear.

Electricity ran down her spine as Ben slowly moved his hand ever higher towards her undergarments. He could feel her pleasure radiating and it was turning him even more on. Though he felt bold at the moment, Ben was quite a virgin in that matter as he's never been that intimate with any other woman. She was the first and he wanted her to be the last. He would spend all his night worshipping her body. Exploring each inch of her sun-kissed skin, counting every single one of her freckles. Make promises of never-ending nights in which their bodies would merge into one. He would make her his Empress, his Goddess, his Queen.

Her breath was irregular, he could feel her pulse racing from her wrist. As soon as he started to brush against the fabric that was hiding her holy temple she stopped him , face displaying eyes full of resolution.

"Ben. Please stop" she said more firmly this time.

Rey was barely able to think rationally at that moment. She was conflicted and two paths was offered to her. She wondered how she would even be able to choose as each would end up hurting her. Following her heart meant leaving her friends to a gruesome fate and following her brain meant leaving a part of herself.

He placed his forehead against hers, mouth just a breath away from hers. He could feel the Force channeling through both of their bodies. It was perfection….it felt right. Her scent was driving him crazy and brushing her skin caused a hardness down below that only her could cause.

"Rey…" he whispered "... you have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now"

The young scavenger knew this would be a point of no return if she gave in completely to her desires and she couldn't help but wonder how she could get out of this mess. Her survival instinct lead her to panic. She thought about the day they met when he decided to make her unconscious on Takodana. What if he did it again and she had no memory of it? What if it was all his scheme? To seduce her?What if he took advantage of her….

Ben sensed a light shift in the Force. Something was bothering her. He gently probed her mind and his whole body froze as he read her thoughts. He then looked at Rey eyes wide opened out of surprise but his face suddenly changed. Rey could see the disgust in his traits as he let go of her wrist and stood up from the bed.

"I am not _that_ kind of monster" he said as he left her bedroom.

Rey was still lying on the bed. Her heart tightened and her eyes filled with tears. He was hurt because of her. She should have stopped him and explained herself. She was a girl who lived in harsh environment and her survival instinct has always been strong. Those were pure reflexes. She knew deep inside Ben likely wasn't that kind of man. Part of her wanted to be by his side just as much as he wanted to be by hers, and though it couldn't be possible right away, she wanted him to know she had hope for the future. If the real Ben was still buried deep inside, there was hope. She wondered for a while how she could tell him she still believed in him and then, it's a decisive Rey that got up and tightened her robe belt.

Back in his bedroom, Ben pulled out his lightsaber and cut the dining table out of rage, perfuming the room with a burnt wood scent. In the past, he would have been glad that anyone would think something like that. He wanted to be feared, in position of domination...but not with her, not like this. Something rooted in his soul was desperate just at the thought of her thinking so low of him. He might be the Supreme Leader but he was raised right and though he followed some ideologies of the Sith, he didn't approve all of them. He removed his trousers and looked at his face in the mirror. His body showed signs of the several battles he went through, leaving scars in lots of areas. He didn't particularly cared about his look but that was before he knew her. The little confidence he built for many years scattered when he met her. He thought he knew what he wanted, his purpose in this world but not anymore. He knew that the man he became didn't deserve her.

As he was pacing in his room trying to cool down ,he heard a knock on his door. His face enlightened at the thought of Rey being on the other side. The door then slowly opened and all hopes vanished.

"Supreme Leader?"

"Phasma, come in" he said.

"Is everything alright?"

The woman entered the room and noticed the sliced table with smoke escaping from its burnt edges . The saber was still lit, painting the room in a blazing crimson color.

"...I guess not" she said.

Ben turn off his saber and sat on his bed, elbows on his legs and hands on his face. The tall woman grabbed a chair and sat in front of him.

"Permission to speak freely sir?"

"Of course"

"Usually when a man looks that miserable, it's because of a woman" she said as she gave him a compassionate look.

" She….she's impossible."

"Do you love her?"

"How should I know? She's always getting on my nerves. She's in constant denial of her feelings."

Phasma sat next to him.

" Is she on our ship?"

"It's...it's complicated" he softly said.

Ben saw Phasma lost in her thoughts. She then got up and faced him, hands on her kimono belt.

"Supreme Leader, if you need some woman comfort, it would be an honor …." she said in total abnegation but nonetheless determined.

She started to unknot her belt but Ben's hand stopped hers. He looked at her and shook his head. Phasma relaxed a bit and Ben laid on his bed with a sigh staring at the ceiling.

"You're a beautiful woman Phasma but you don't have to do and shouldn't do that. I just need to figure out a way to talk to her without ending with us arguing" he said.

Rey was walking through the dark corridors, heart tightened and stopped in front of a door. _His_ door. The golden letters shimmered at the dim light. She gathered all the strength she had, took a deep breath and before she could even process her actions, she was knocking.

Both Phasma and Ben heard a knock on the door.

" That's probably room service, I'll send them away Supreme Leader"

Phasma walked towards the door and half-opened it cautiously.

As the door opened Rey saw this woman she envied so much dressed with an insanely short kimono robe highlighting her gorgeous silhouette. Years of deprivation might not have help her own body. That woman had everything she didn't. She was tall, had feminine curves, wide hips, big breast ...the archetype of what she believed were male fantasies.

"You! What are you doing here?!" Phasma asked frowning.

Rey's gaze moved on the side to the bed where he could see Ben with even lesser clothes than he had earlier, wearing only black boxer shorts. She could feel her heart scattering in million of pieces at that very moment.

Ben saw Rey's eyes going back and forth on him and Phasma in complete shock.

Rey was frozen at first, then she felt the tears in her eyes slowly coming. She felt as if her heart was ripped in pieces and took a step back looking at Ben. She had to get away from here.

"Rey! Listen, this -" he tried to say getting up from his bed.

"Excuse me, wrong room number" Rey said before running away.

"REY! WAIT!" he said as he swiftly ran to the door.

Phasma stopped him.

" You're in love with the Jedi girl?!"

Ben was trying to find his words carefully.

" Supreme Leader, shall I remind you that she's an enemy of the First Order?"

"I know that. She could be a valuable asset to the First Order though. I've already asked her to rule by my side but she declined the offer"

"Any side circumstances by any chance?"

He looked away in shame.

"She asked me to stop firing on her fleet"

"And I guess you didn't. Sir, you are a very powerful Force user but you have no clue on how human relationship works. From what I've heard, this girl grew up all alone and now that she finally finds somewhere she belongs to, you're trying to kill it. Political matters aside, it's not the best way to win a woman's heart in my opinion."

"She doesn't need them" he said exasperated.

"With all due respects sir, you'll never be in position to decide who she needs. Only her can do that" Phasma calmly said.

"I appreciate your boldness and your honesty" he said. "I want to set a New Order. I'm not like Hux, I don't want to rule by terror but I want my people to respect authority"

"I can understand. I've always been loyal with the First Order Supreme Leader, and I will continue to do so. Also, I can't say I'm not happy that the previous Leader isn't here anymore. His methods weren't conventional."

"That makes two of us then"


	8. Chapter 8: Cyclamen

**Chapter 8: Cyclamen**

Rey was running through the corridors, vision blurred by her tears. She stopped in front of Poe's suite and forcefully knocked on the door. When the door opened, her hands grabbed his shirt then she hugged him tightly.

"Can we please get out of here?" she said between sobs she barely managed to conceal.

Poe grabbed her by the shoulder, alarmed.

"Rey, what happened? Why are you crying?!"

"Please, I'm begging you. I'm okay, I just want to leave."

Poe couldn't help getting even more worried and let out a sigh. He knew she wouldn't talk. It didn't matter, he wanted to be there for her , no matter what.

"Grab your stuff, we're leaving in 10 minutes. Meet me at the Falcon"

Rey went back to the room to gather her belongings and headed to the Falcon. The moons were bathing everything in their lights. She took a deep breath as she saw Poe in front of the Falcon's door. This evening felt like the longest of her life. She took a last look at the illuminated mansion as the smell of fresh grass tickled her nose. She loved that smell. She emitted a long and deep breath and went on board of the Falcon.

Once they landed on Takodana, Leia and the others were outside the tents waiting for them. Poe hugged Finn and Rose and so did she. When she got in front of Leia, she couldn't help but feeling tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure if she could hug her, but she desperately needed it. However, as if Leia felt it, she slowly opened her arms and Rey engulfed herself in them, soothing her whole being with her Light.

"You need some rest child" she calmly said.

Rey nodded tightening her arms around the old woman.

For the following two weeks, she has been working on the Falcon to improve the deflector shield but she felt hollow. Chewie kept giving her cheering growls but it didn't help. Even the chirps from the porgs didn't feel as cute as usual. She didn't think it would hurt so much to see him with someone else. She threw her wrench on the ground with an energy that made a porg run away. She exited the Falcon and patted her greasy hand on her pants. When she met the ground, she stood up and look at the blue sky.

"_Come on Rey, he's not the kind of guy for you anyway!_" she thought remembering that all her friends are counting on her. She balled up her fists. "_You're the hope of the resistance_"

Fueled up with energy, she burst in the tent in which a meeting was held.

"General! Sorry for the intrusion but I would like to go on a mission. Are there any missions available?"

Leia eyes widened out of surprise.

"I….well….all the missions are filled" the old woman stated.

"Not all General" said the commander who was sat next to her, hitting nervously his pen on the table.

"I'm not sending her in there"

Rey placed both of her hands on the table.

"I want to go! Tell me what is it about!"

"Rey…." Leia said with a sigh.

"I want to go! I'm going crazy over here, I'm feeling useless. Please!"

Leia turned to the commander and nodded.

" We need to put a microtracker on general Hux case. We think the First Order is planning to annex the planet Castilon and since we have allies there, we would like to get as much information as we can get in order to help them. We know they will be in Tatooine, Outer Rim , in 2 days. They are going to look for slaves there to form new recruits. Our intel said that the First Order own a private hotel in which they spend their evening in drinking and celebrating. Hux particularly love this place so we know he'll be there. Only women can do this mission, foreign men can't get into the bar and we need someone who can get….well ….close to him."

"By 'close' you mean that I'll have to….seduce him?" she couldn't hide the disgust in her voice.

"Yes. You'll have to get into his room, that is where his case is. Lieutenant Connix is usually on this kind of mission but she will only be back in 3 days" the commander said

"Rey, you don't have to do it. I think this is too much to ask from you and it is dangerous" Leia said with a hint of compassion in her voice.

Rey took a moment to ponder, eyes on the ground. When she lifted her eyes, they were full of resolution.

"I'll do it! I won't let other people risk their lives while I'm staying here doing nothing. It doesn't feel right"

"Well, we're all set then!" the man said, satisfied.

Leia gave the man a angry stare before grabbing Rey's hand tenderly.

"Be careful child, okay?"

"I will, I promise" she said with a soft smile.

"May the Force be with you"

"And with you" Rey said before leaving.

The two days felt like an eternity. When the D day came, Leia sent her to Maz's castle for her to find a proper attire. She was standing in front of the mirror, at the center of Maz dressing room with a revealing sparkly golden dress. To say she was feeling uncomfortable was a euphemism. It wasn't practical at all. The long slits on the sides were almost reaching her undergarment, overexposing her legs. The V-neck was insanely deep and it was backless. Maz looked at her satisfied and kept nodding during the whole dressing, hairdressing and makeup process.

" Hair lightly curled and loose, light makeup and red lipstick! There you go!"

" Is this what men are attracted to?" she asked, unsure.

"Believe me, you'll turn heads in an instant. Other women won't stand a chance, Hux likes good looking girls…... but …..maybe he's not the one you'll want to impress" the old alien said, smirking

"What do you mean?"

"He'll likely be here too. Ben."

Her cheeks turned beet red. How on Jakku did that woman knew everything? It seemed like it was pointless to try to hide things from her.

"I didn't think he would be the kind of man to…..I mean….to go to places of debauchery like this" her heart tightening as she spoke.

Maz walked toward the window and contemplated the view.

"Ben got a lot of his father but he is not a womanizer. Believe me, as the head of the Knights of Ren, countless gorgeous women across the galaxies tried to obtain his favors. Now that he is a Supreme Leader, he has even more women at his feet. However, not once did he ever showed interest in one of them, as strange as it may be." the old woman said.

"_Looks like he changed his mind_" she thought, sadness filling her whole body.

"He goes there because he wants to maintain group cohesion with his generals and captains, not because he likes this kind of place"

"It seemed no one was able to distract him from his path to power…..until you"

Rey froze and Maz turned to face her.

" The Force, I feel it shifting. Last time you called me, you asked me about Force bond. I assume you're sharing one with him" the old alien said, making a pause then speaking again " Do you have feelings for him?"

Rey would have buried herself or wished she could disappear at that moment.

"I...huh...no! It's not like that. I mean, I don't know ...he's done terrible things, how could I f-"

"Oh dear, we don't choose who we fall in love with. If we did, things would be a lot easier, believe me!" Maz said adjusting her glasses.

Rey's heart was heavy and she felt tears forming in her eyes. Maz walked closer to her and with both of her hands, she held Rey's ones.

"I'm so confused. I don't know who to trust, what to think, what to feel… I'm lost" she said as she looked at Maz straight in the eyes. "He's killed so many people, Maz….even his own father. I thought he could turn but at the end, he didn't"

" When the moment comes, feel the Force, it will guide you" she said closing her eyes.

She then walked to the dressing, opened the drawer and took a pair of crystal thread earrings along with some kind of needle gun.

"W-What is that for?" she asked with a bit of apprehension.

"You don't have your ears pierced so I'll do it. Don't worry it doesn't hurt much."

Maz put the gun to her ear lobe and pressed the button. Rey jolted. It barely hurt but it surprised her a bit. When both of her ears were done, the old woman put the earrings and made her look in the mirror.

"Final touch and now we're done!"

"I almost don't recognize me"

Her tone was more sad than joyful. She didn't want to indulge in thinking she was part of this kind of world. Luxurious, fancy… . Things changed so much in a few months span.

"That's the whole point child!"

Rey let out a sigh.

"I wanted to go on this mission but I don't even know how to do it. How I'm supposed to….seduce that Hux"

Max sat on the sofa near the window.

"Hux is used of having girls at his feet so you will have to play the unattainable but not too much. Flirt with him but don't give yourself too easily"


	9. Chapter 9: Quo coeperunt omnes

**Chapter 9: Quo coeperunt omnes**

The two suns of Tatooine were going down the horizon, concealing the crimson sky into an ebony veil sprinkled with small diamonds. This planet reminded her of her home somehow. Dryness, sand, heat. As she walked in dark alleys between buildings, she tried to keep her dark cloak in order not to draw too much attention especially with her attire. As she reached the hotel, neons reflecting in her earrings, she stopped in front of the entrance guarded by two stormtroopers. A surge of confidence made her speak and she tried to reach the Force in the meantime focusing as much as she could.

"You'll let me in and ask no questions" she said focusing on the two guards.

The two stormtroopers froze and spoke simultaneously.

"We'll let you in and ask no questions"

"_It seems I'm getting better at this" _she thought

She walked through the door and found herself in a hallway. A small droid came to her proposing to keep her cloak. She untied the small cord and handed the dark clothe to the droid who quickly rolled to the reception. The young scavenger approached the counter and ask the receptionist where the First Order soldiers were tonight.

"It's over there sweet lady, on your left" he said pointing at a large smoked glass door.

"Thank you"

"My pleasure. Have fun!"

The more she got close to the door, the more she could hear the music. Hand on the handle, she took a deep breath. She couldn't help feeling how her shoes was uncomfortable, how the person reflecting in the mirror glass wasn't her. With a lot of apprehension, she plunged into the room.

Everything was immerse in dim red light. There were few platforms on which women were dancing. At their feet were helmetless stormtroopers who seemed like drooling over out of lust. All over the room, women of all races of the universe but mostly humanoids were hanging on stormtroopers like Hrelan bees on honey. Her eyes briefly scanned the area and there he was. Ginger hair, at the bar, smug look. Her target. As expected, he was flirting with a woman who seemed to be craving for his attention.

"Pathetic" she thought.

She knew she was supposed to be playing hard to get but not too much. Slowly, she walked to the bar with lots of heads turning to her and sat on the chair next to his. If she wanted to draw attention, well, that was now done. Hux stopped his conversation with the other lady and turned to her.

"It seems we haven't been presented yet" he said with a charming smile.

"Indeed. I'm doing a halt on Tatooine for two days. I was looking for some...distraction you could say" sending him an equally charming smile.

Pretending felt so natural at that moment that she found it almost disgusting. Then she felt it. A Force signature. His Force signature. Her eyes searched the room and there he was, across the room in a small corner sitting on a sofa having a drink. A whole bunch of woman were trying to get his attention without any success so far and suddenly as if he felt it too, his eyes scanned the room and his gaze fell on her. At that very moment, Rey's heart stopped. Was he going to turn her in? He could. She knew he totally could.

Ben hated those evenings but he had no choice. Not going wouldn't be socially acceptable but how he wanted to go back to his room and be free of these desperate and pitiful women. As he raised his glass to his lips, he froze. He felt it at that moment.

"_Rey"_

He searched the room and there she was. At the bar next to the man he despised the most in the whole universe. The grip on his glass tightened and his heart rate accelerated.

Even from across the room, Rey could feel Ben's anger but she had a mission and couldn't afford to let herself distracted. She kept talking to Hux, sometimes laughing at his joke and she could feel Ben's dark presence looming over her each minute passing. She remained focused on her task as much as she could but she couldn't help giving furtive looks at Ben and each time she did, his eyes were fixed on her. However, he didn't move, he didn't do anything at all.

"You didn't tell me your name though" he said.

"_Think of something Rey, quick!"_

"Kira. I'm from Corellia"

"So you need alcohol to get girls?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

She could see in Hux eyes that his interest skyrocketed.

"Well, I have some talents I could show you. I'm pretty sure you'd love it"

"What makes you so sure of that?" she said with a cocky face.

"You're quite interesting, you know that?"

She answered with a seductive smile.

"Well, Kira, how about we end this evening in my room. I've got some good emerald wine waiting in there"

" I'd be delighted to try that"

He offered his hand to her.

"Please follow me"

She took his hand begrudgingly and followed him out of the room. They took an elevator and soon reached a deserted dark corridor. Hux walked for a while then stopped next to a door. Then he pushed her against the wall, grabbing her by the waist and starting to kiss her neck.

"I'll make you scream my name tonight" he said smoothly.

As he was about to reach her lips with his, Rey placed her fingers on his mouth to stop him. He was now watching her with lustful eyes.

"Maybe we should get inside first" she softly said

Hux smiled and searched his pockets. He then frowned.

"Wait for me a second darling, it seems I've lost my access card, I'll go to the reception for a sec" he said putting his fingers on her chin.

She made a sigh of relief. That was close. As soon as he vanished, she heard steps coming close to her. In the dim light Ben's face came into shape. Her breath got taken away.

"Ben what are y-"

"Leave, _now!_" he spat, but the young girl stood there in silence.

"What are you even doing here in the first place?". His tone was full of suspicion.

"I needed a break from my duty" the young girl said.

He walked closer to her in a menacing way.

"Don't play this kind of game with me Scavenger. You're on a mission. Why else would you be in this First Order pit?". He could see her shivering at the mention of the nickname.

"I happen to like having fun sometimes. Gingers are quite my type" she said with a smug face.

Rey knew mentioning Hux would piss him off and it worked. She could see his jaw clenching as he moved closer, way too close. When her eyes met his, she noticed how his gaze grew darker.

Ben was raging. Of all people, she was with that disgusting man. Was it a game for her?Was she playing him? Did all they shared was a sole masquerade?

"Rey, you have no idea what kind of man he is with women, what he's cap-"

"I know you like to be in charge but let me tell you something: you have no control over my decisions" she said frowning, index finger pressing on his chest.

"You don't understand. Listen to me for once!" he said as anger filled his whole body.

"I'm perfectly able to handle stuff myself! I don't need your help Ben, I don't always need saving"

He smashed his fist on the wall next to her, making his knuckles bleed. The cold hard metal vibrated against her back on the impact. His move gave her goosebumps and she almost could feel his wrath as if it was hers. The sheer intensity of his feeling through the bond made her doubt for a moment.

"FINE!" he screamed.

His lips were trembling out of rage. She could see how hard he tried to contain himself when he took few steps back, panting. When he flit and walked away, Rey saw an access card falling from the inside of his cape. On it was Hux's room number.

"Ben" she whispered, but he was already gone in the darkness.

Sooner than she wished, Hux came back, access card in hand. The door opened with a hiss as he swap his card down the electronic lock and both entered the room. Everything was decorated in brown and beige, which was quite surprising for a First Order room. She followed him to his bedroom.

"Make yourself at ease while I grab some wine" he said, going to the next room.

Rey looked everywhere as quickly as possible in search for the case and there it was, resting on a small chest of drawers. Without any hesitation, she opened her necklace to take the tracker patch and place it near the hinge. As soon as she did, the trackers activated its invisibility mode. She sigh out of relief. She finally did it. However, there was a bigger problem ahead. She had to get out of here without blowing up her cover.

Hux went back to the bedroom, glasses of wine in hand. He offered one to Rey who took it and toasted.

"To the First Order" she said faking a smile.

"To beauties like you"

She started to drink. It was sweet and very aromatic.

"Do you like it?"

"It's really tasty. I like it."

Hux moved closer and took her glass from her hand, putting it away on the bed table. He then pulled down the strap on her shoulder and started to kiss her neck vigorously. It was when he nibbled her neck really hard, causing her pain that she gasped and recoiled. She could feel the drop of blood dripping.

"I think I forgot my bag downstairs, I'll...I'll go take it, I just need two minutes"

She stood up but felt quite strange, almost dizzy and walked to the door. Her eyes widened in horror when she realized it was locked.

"You're not going anywhere lady" he said; giving a faint scowl.


	10. Chapter 10: Ganymede's Inferno

**Chapter 10: Ganymede's Inferno**

**Author's Note: **I'm sooooo sorry for the wait! I had a lot of work to do this past week and will have too the next couples of weeks so update might take a bit longer than usual. Hope you guys like this chapter !

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Rey felt disoriented; her eyes lost focus.

"What…"

She felt even more out of balance and leaned against the wall. Her eyes looked at the glass in which she drank in.

"What….did you put in my...glass?"

He walked towards her like a predator hunting its prey. Rey's legs were getting weaker. The fabric of her dress rubbed down the wall as she slowly fell. She was still conscious but could barely move her arms and leg at this point. Her mind became cloudy. He kneeled next to her and grab her chin so she could look at her in the eyes.

"Something so you can stay put like a good girl"

He dragged her body on the bed, spread her arms above her head and tied her wrists to the headboard bars. He opened the bed table drawer and pull out a piece of cloth that he shoved in her mouth. In a swift move he tore up her dress entirely, exposing her bare chest and undergarments.

"That's a nice breast for a Corellian slut" he stated.

Rey tried to reach the Force to break free but couldn't succeed. All of her muscles were felt weak and she could barely struggle but she still tried. Hux rushed to the wardrobe and came back with a small whip whose lash was covered with tiny blades. At the sight of the torture device she screamed but it was all muffled by her gag. The general got on the bed and positioned himself in a stand up position over her. Fear seized her entire body as he raised the whip. Then he slashed the whip over her right waist making her grunt in pain. The second strike tore her lower abdomen and a tear fell down her cheek. On the third one, he aimed for her inner thigh and at that moment Rey was sure she wouldn't leave this room alive. She could see the madness in his eyes and fear arose in her whole body. The ferrous smell of her blood and the satisfaction look on his face was borderline nauseating. He stopped for a moment to get closer to her face, smelling her skin.

"I'm gonna adorn your body and then…." he said licking her earlobe "...I'm gonna take you in every way possible"

Ben was right. Ben. The only thing that soothed her at that moment was the memory of him. Without warning, the ginger man slashed again ,harder, blades tearing her flesh close to her nipple. She convulsed with pain and let out a muffled scream. Her arm then became the target of the mad manin a violent strike that seemed to please him. Rey lowered her gaze and noticed his erection through his pants. That disgusting general was turned on by inflicted pain. She could feel the bile arising in her throat along with a nauseous feeling that overwhelmed her.

"It's a shame….such a beautiful face...about to be ruined" he said smirking.

The soreness was tiring her and she was almost half conscious. She could hear thump noises around. Everything felt like an hallucination...or more like a nightmare. Yes…. a nightmare and she almost wished to die before the maniac in front of her violated her body.

Hux raised his arm again aiming for her face and Rey braced herself but the strike never occurred. Both heard someone banging violently at the door.

"HUX!" yelled a voice.

Hux grumbled and looked back at her.

"We're not done yet my sweet lady. Just wait for me." he whispered to her.

The ginger haired general walked to his living room and closed his bedroom door. He walked toward this entrance door, frowning. He heard another bang on the door, more violent this time. He knew who that was.

"S-Supreme Leader!"

"Why does it take you so long to open a kriffing door General?"

"I'm sorry Supreme Leader, I had to put some clothes on."

Ben's fists clenched under his cape, turmoil and rage filling his whole being. Nothing mattered at that moment, just her. He hoped she was safe.

"Your presence is requested NOW on our main ship"

"But Supreme Leader, can't that wait for-"

"I said NOW" he said hanging a datapad to the general, grinding his teeth.

The Force choke wasn't necessary as Ben's eyes told it all. He knew Hux wouldn't risk discussing his orders so he took advantage of it.

"Fine. I'll have someone clean my room" Hux said, obviously pissed.

Ben turned to the Stormtrooper he came with.

"Escort the general" he said firmly.

"Yes Supreme Leader" said the stormtrooper who then walked away with Hux on his side.

As soon as he deemed they were far enough, he rushed to the room. He walked slowly to the bedroom, afraid of what sight might awaits him in there and he could barely believe what was in front of his eyes as the door opened. Rey was tied in the middle of the bed, battered and bloodied, lacerations all over her body. Blood was still dripping from her wound, painting the dazzling white of bed sheets in shades of Red Clouds. His breath was shallow and his vision blurred by rage. The fact that she was naked didn't come to his mind as there was so much blood. His iris showed shades of golden and at that moment he swore he could run after Hux and kill him but he heard her whine and he sobered up in a second. She slowly move her head to him as he removed the cloth from her mouth, eyes half opened ,and let out a weak whisper.

"Ben?"

Panic rose in him and he rushed. He untied her wrists and grabbed a large towel to cover her body. He cautiously took her in his arms, slightly cradling her. He walked out of Hux's room and went towards the elevator in order to reach his own room. He could feel Rey was staring at him but the sight of her face and her tears were unbearable so he kept his eyes straight. Thankfully, he met no stormtroopers on his way. He stopped in front of his door and moved his face closed to the eye scanner. Lasers scanned his iris and the door opened in a long hiss opening a view on his black decorated apartments. Once in his room, he moved towards his bedroom gently drop her on his bed. The young Leader put a hand on her shoulder.

His presence somehow gave her strength in ways she couldn't possibly comprehend.

"Hang on Rey, I'm gonna take some bacta patch to treat your wounds"he whispered.

"It'll take forever to heal ….if it ever heals" she took a deep breath " He drugged me and….I think he dip his blades in something…. maybe a poison... I can feel my wounds burning"

The pain made her frown and she whined.

"Didn't Luke taught you how to heal with the Force?" she asked, trying in vain to sit.

He sighed, looked the other way. She still held on his past self, desperately and he couldn't bring herself to realize that the Ben she thinks about was not there anymore. It was always as if they got back to the beginning.

"Rey, don't-"

"I'm sure you could"

"That's a Light side ability. There is no way I could….not after…." he paused then resumed "nevermind"

"Could you try?"

Rey slid her hand next to his as she was too weak to raise her arm.

As she touched his skin, he felt electricity traveling through his whole body along with some kind of comforting warmth. This is what it was like to have her next to him, to be bathed in her Light.

"Please" she whispered.

Ben didn't know how he could even refuse her something and certainly not with her looking at him or touching him that way. The internal battle he had inside always let Light win when she was around, no matter how clouded with the Dark his mind was. He wished he was stronger, he wished he didn't care about her, what she thinks or what she says but the truth is he couldn't deny his whole world was now shaped around her. The young scavenger was one of a kind. He sighed in defeat then looked at her.

" Alright, I'll try but first, you need to rest until the effects of drug he gave you is gone. Bacta patch will help in the meantime"

Rey nodded. She was so exhausted with all that happened and the soreness of her body that it didn't take long until she fell asleep. Ben kept watching her as she did. Her loose hair, her lips, her skin….she was a perfection in this imperfect universe. He could spend the rest of his life staring at her sleeping and Force knows he really wanted to but reality always kicked back reminding him their opposing sides in the war. His heart shattered at the realization that there was a possibility they could never be together. He wanted to treasure their moments together and burn her face in the meanders of his mind for ever . The face of the girl who brought out the best in him. In the midst of his Darkness, her light always prevailed.


	11. Chapter 11: Ankarres Sapphire

**Chapter 11 : Ankarres Sapphire**

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Author's note: Thank you so much for your patience! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :) !

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The young woman woke up two hours later , all limbs feeling numb. She raised her hand on her forehead and notice with relief she could normally move. Ben was still next to her. She wondered if he stood there the whole time and felt blood rushing in her cheeks.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Wounds still hurt like hell but at least I can move"

"Good. I'll try to heal you then. I'll need to put my hand on your wound so it might hurt if it's sensitive. We'll start with your arm"

She shyly nodded and he put his hand on her wound causing her to grunt. He closed in eyes to reach a complete focus. It wasn't hard reaching Light with her by his side. She brought out the best in him. Under his hands, the wound was glowing in blue and green light. Rey was staring at him in awe and she realized that her feelings were way deeper than she thought. It was beautiful...he was beautiful. She felt a warmth and soon the open wounds closed themselves. He removed his hand and open his eyes.

"Where else?" he asked

"Stomach and waist" she answered, sliding the bed cover to expose her belly and slightly pulling up the towel covering her breast to make her wounds reachable.

Again, Ben put a hand on each wound and healed the damaged skin in a vivid glow that painted the whole room.

"Next?"

"I...uh...I will deal with those"

"Don't be stupid, let me heal you. Tell me."

Rey looked at him in the eyes with crimson cheeks. Ben could feel her reluctance but couldn't fathom what was underneath it. She pondered it for a moment and eventually pulled the towel aside exposing her breast but still covering her nipple. Ben gulped and slightly recoiled at the intimate sight in front of him.

"I...huh...Are you sure you're okay with me ….touching you th-"

"Just do it quick" she said trying her best not to look at him in the eyes.

Ben's trembling hands met her wound and soon, the damaged flesh was only a memory. In his lower region, he could feel the desire building little by little to the point it made his member twitch.

He quickly removed his hand and cleared his throat.

"Alright, it's done. Is that all?" he said standing up

"My...my inner thigh. It's the last one"

Ben swallowed hard. He didn't even know why he was that shy since he already touched her there before. But now was different. He wasn't teasing her. She allowed him, willingly, to touch her.

Some part of him wanted to rip Hux into pieces for ravaging such a beautiful body, peeling his flesh off his bones but it wasn't the time to think of revenge. He turned around the bed and sat next to her on her right side.

Rey slowly slid down the cover, exposing her undergarments and she fold up her left leg for an easier access to the wound. He put his hand on her injury and Rey jerked a little. Little did he know it wasn't from pain though, it was from pleasure. Once the healing was done, she notice his hand was still on her but he was absent, eyes in the void, like an animal in trance. She swore she saw a glimpse of gold in his eyes but she thought it was simply an aftereffect of the drug.

"B-Ben?"

Ben realized his hand was still there and jolted. Lust was starting to win over reason and he felt ashamed for that.

"I'm sorry" he said , removing his hand and covering her lower body with the bedsheet "I'll let you have some rest, I'll be in the next room. Call me if you need anything"

As he was standing up, he was stopped by Rey who grabbed his wrist.

"Please, stay"

Her plea resonated in his chest. He sat back and Rey arose, her eyes facing his. They stared at each other for a moment that seemed an eternity.

Rey's fingers trailed down the line of his jaw and she moved closer. She could feel the pain he was in, he could barely breathe and wetted his lips in anticipation. Slowly, her lips met his and it was unlike anything she ever felt before. Passion rushed through her and so did lust, twirling and raging inside her core like a sandstorm. It was sweet yet painful because he created a need in her she didn't assuage at that moment. She forgot about everything: the war, her friends, the Resistance, the First Order. All that existed at that moment was him and her. Not Kylo Ren and the Hope of the Resistance. Not Ben and Rey. Just a man and a woman.

When Rey's lips met his, he thanked the Force he was sat on the bed as he would have probably fell. A tornado of feelings seized his whole body, creating an insatiable need that quite frightened him at first but in which he eventually indulged. The furniture around them were shaking but he didn't even care. What he felt at that moment, was better than anything he ever felt. He didn't think he would crave for something more than he craved for power but he did at that exact moment. The Force hummed around them. It was peace but also passion, it was balance.

Rey moved closer, pressing her body against his. She needed more, much more to stop this feeling of hunger, of thirst. The young girl deepened the kiss and ran her fingers through his hair causing him to let out a weak moan and he responded by sliding his hand from her waist until the small of her back. Rey arched her back a little from the pleasure his touch gave her and Ben swore he would go crazy as her body pressed even tighter against his. His pants felt tighter near his crotch with every second that passed and every centimeter of her he was devouring.

Amidst the smoke of desire, an ounce of reason reached him. He broke the kiss unexpectedly and pressed his forehead against hers, leaving a confused young girl with questioning eyes in front of him.

"You should get some rest" he said softly.

He could feel her heart sinking as he spoke.

"What?" she said as tear glittered in her eyes.

"You've been through a traumatic experience. I don't want you to do something you would regret. And I-"

"Okay, I get it" she said dryly, moving away from him.

"Rey..." he almost pleaded.

"I'm sorry I'm not like those women downstairs or like _her._ I'm aware Jakku wasn't the perfect environment for devel-"

He put a hand on her cheek and made her look at him.

"Rey. Nothing happened with her. I was angry at you, I burst in rage and sliced a table with my lightsaber. She only came to check if I was okay. That's all."

He couldn't help but wondering why he felt the need to justify himself.

She turned her head on the side so he wouldn't see her abashed face. Somehow, she felt as if a weight was removed from her shoulders.

"Why did you stop then?"

"I told you why"

She inches closer so their foreheads touch and trailed her fingers down his chest. He looked in pain as if he was fighting internally.

Feeling her warm breath on his lips felt like an pleasing agony. His skin remained like a brazier where the ghost of her touch lingered. It was a sweet violence fueling his desire and he let himself consumed entirely and willingly.

The dream they shared through the Force felt like a distant memory and both of them was discovering each other again in every way possible.

"Rey..."

His voice was like a prayer but he was still resisting his urge.

"Ben…" she said as she drop a light kiss on the corner of his mouth "is something wrong with me?"

He looked at her eyes, arduously, drowning in their sienna shades. He tried as much as he could to take a deep breath, attempting to control his ineluctable attraction to her.

"You might want to stop….whatever you're doing right now. It's hardly the right moment to do …." he gulped as she put her hand on his thigh "...this kind of things"

"What do you mean?" she whispered, brushing her lips on his.

"If you keep doing this….I'll want more, I'll need more and this is something I … I'll never be able to ask from you "

She trailed down her fingers down his clothed arm and even through the fabric, he felt the intensity of her touch. His eyes closed themselves to savor it, all of it.

"You don't have to ask….Ben...I want to...I want you"

At these words, Rey could see his eyes filling with lust as if her words opened a secret path to the maze of his fantasies.

Never would he ever have thought she could say something like that to someone as worthless as him. Then, it hit him hard. The loved he always craved to receive from the closest people in his life, he was finally having it. She was the missing part. She was the key.

Rey kissed him again but with more vigor than previously, spreading butterfly kisses on his neck, her fingers trailing down his lower abdomen. Ben was now painfully hard, only waiting to relieve himself from his condition but he knew that she wasn't so straightforward usually so he hung back. As much as he wanted her, he knew he couldn't go further right now. He wanted her but not like this.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her away with a desperate sigh.

"Rey, I think it's best we wait until we're sure the drug has no more effect on you"

He gently laid her down and placed a kiss on her forehead. She looked at him, unsure of what to say and with a wave of his hand, all turned to black .

When she opened her eyes, it was already morning. Some light beams was piercing through the gap the two curtains were drawing. All the recollections of the previous night came to her mind in flashes, how disinhibited she was. The young woman couldn't help but blushing out of embarrassment as Ben entered the room. She couldn't even look at him in the eyes.

In the corner, a round black droid lit up and rolled next to him.

"Supreme Leader, what should I prepare for your wife's breakfast?"

Faces turned instantly red for both of them.

"I'm not his…."

"She's not my wife, she's…" he hesitated for a moment staring at the crimson cheeks of the beauty in his bed.

"I'm an acquaintance" Rey told the droid.

Ben couldn't help but clenching his jaw at her words. An acquaintance...

"Oh, please excuse my ignorance misses. The Supreme Leader always said only his wife would ever be in this bed and he never brought a women in here be-"

'That's enough IG-58, just...just bring us pancakes and fruits _now_" Ben said emphasizing on the last word.

"Certainly Supreme Leader" the droid said as he rolled out of the room.

Then, an uncomfortable silence set, none wanting to look at the other in the eyes.

Rey pondered the information, heart racing as her fingers became aware of the delicate silken black sheets she was resting on. She was the first one in his bed.

"Thank you. For saving me, Ben. And….I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I don't know how I came on to you like that. The things I did and said ….I don't know what got into me…..oh Force, I'm so embarrassed." she said burying her face in her hands.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. You were drugged, it wasn't you."

For an unknown reason she felt him distant, not bothering to look at her. His tone was filled with dryness.

" You put me to sleep but I don't remember much before that. Did….did we..." she started, anxiety nesting in her belly.

He looked at her in the eye and the tension was palpable in the room.

"We didn't do anything, if that's what you're worried about. Even though you pretty much did all you could for that to happen." the dark knight said.

If her whole body could blush then it would have at that moment. She mumbled a "sorry" as he walked to the window and opened the curtains to contemplate the sunrise. She heard him make an almost hushed sigh.

" I could feel you weren't yourself and these kind of ….things shouldn't be done while you're under influence of some sort of drug."

Rey looked at him surprised but she was touched by his consideration. He could have taken advantage of the situation but he didn't.

The droid came back to the room with a plate that it placed on her laps. Her face lightened at the sigh of the frugality in front of her. There were different fruits on it, fruits which she only saw on the holonet and in dreams. In the center of the place there were some kind of flat soft breads she couldn't wait to try. The smell was incredible teasing every inch of her nostrils. There were small containers with some kind of pastes and one with honey. She looked at Ben waiting for a kind of approval.

" Go on " he said with a tender smile.

Impatient, she dipped a finger in honey and licked it. A moan escaped her mouth. Ben felt his arousal rising in his body.

"_What kind of torture is that"_ he thought, annoyed.

She had a bite in several fruits and in the pancakes too. To hell table manners, those were too delicious.

"Those are SO good" she said excited. "Aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry" he said, concealing the fact that he would gladly look at her eating all day. Not that her eating manners were gracious, but watching her was quite amusing and entertaining.

"I can't believe you would not eat those"

"I'm sorry you've been starving all these years. Eat as much as you want while I take a shower" looking at her with compassion.

She smiled at him focused back on her food.

As the water ran down his back and the cold wall of his fresher, Ben kept wondering since when his body became so uncontrollable and how the words coming out of her delicate mouth could trigger such lust and passion in him.

By the time Rey had finished eating, Ben grabbed a pair of indoor black pants and put it on.

Rey was licking her fingers, enjoying the last drop of honey when Ben get out of the fresher's room. She froze at the sight of the body in front of her. His whole body was harmonious and his wet hair allowed drops of water to run through the crevices between his muscles. The upper part of his body was marveled by the glittering moisture, remnant of his shower. Her gaze got lower and she blush realizing her own actions. She couldn't deny the part of her wanting to give in to her lustful curiosity. Her lips slowly parted.

"I'm done" he said nonchalantly, making the girl snap out of her thoughts. " I had pants and shirt bought for you. They're already in the fresher. I figured you'd be more at ease in those than in a dress"

" Thank you. It's way more comfy and practical and also less-"

"Revealing?" he said raising an eyebrow at her and smiling.

His smile. It was rare but it gave his facial features an undeniable attractiveness. At the thought, the blush came back.

"Yes"

He turned his back to her and poured himself a glass of water. His head shifted on the side.

"You know...you don't have to wear this to attract men"


	12. Chapter 12: Wildfire

**Chapter 12: Wildfire**

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Sorry for the wait everyone! Here's chapter 12! Hope you'll like it. This one is for my grandma who passed away this month 3

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Rey's heart stopped. Did he just implied she was beautiful? She got a glimpse of his broad back but looked away as he turned around, ashamed of herself. However, it didn't take long until her eyes went back at pants were wrapping his lower dangerously low, revealing his muscles in V shape converging to his lower body. The heat in her cheeks kept rising and she couldn't help but wanting to touch him. At that moment, she wanted to forbid herself to have such deep rooted need. A part of her, wanted to know what it would feel like to touch him, to feel the heat of his skin once again, to be an giver and not a receiver. She tried as hard as she could to resist the urge but her desire was so strong that it leaked through the bond and when she realized it, it was already too late and she panicked.

Ben moved back a little in surprise when her thought flew through his mind.

She was sure he would make fun of her, as he usually do. He would be teasing her. However, unexpectedly, he didn't. Instead, the young man looked at her with a sheer intensity.

"You can touch me, if that's what you want. I don't mind."

He wasn't joking. He was dead serious. The young girl pursed her lips, her fists clenched on the black sheets.

" I...I don't want anything. Just put some goddamn pants and shirt on for Force's sake!"

He sighed then smirked.

"You like what you see"

"What?! Of course not !" she said as the blush crept to her cheeks.

"That wasn't a question, that was a statement"

Ben moved closer and she could smell his delicate but strong perfume, creating an awakening in her lower abdomen.

"I know you're trying to lure me to the Dark Side. That's not gonna work." she said with a voice devoid of confidence.

Her eyes were on the ground, counting every tile in hope it would make her focus on something else than the insanely hot body in front of her. He stopped in front of her and raised her chin. With the height of the bed, her face was at the same level of his crotch.

"Who said it's for the Dark Side?"

Her lips parted and Ben could only imagine how good those lips of her would feel on his member. The sight of her at this angle was turning him on and he was starting to get hard. He placed his hand on each of her sides and lowered his face to hers.

"What if I wanted you? Just you?" he softly said.

To be wanted….it felt like a distant dream she had during her cold nights on Jakku. Rey's heart fluttered feeling his breath against her lips and her gaze lowered to his mouth. Her will to resist crumbled; her whole body and soul was drawn to him. Dark voices swirling in her mind were telling her to act. It became more and more insistent. The curve of his lips was 's against all odds that her face moved closer and her lips captured his.

Ben indulged in but his whole mind was messed up processing what just happened. She wasn't drugged this time and she did it. She kissed him.

The whole room was vibrating with the Force and Rey's body quivered at the touch. She was kissing the Leader of the First Order….her enemy….and she was doing it willingly. Darkness filled her mind. What she was doing was wrong. He killed so many people, children, women, civilians. He hunted their friends - no, her family - down. He tried to kill his own father. Her eyes shot open and moved away from him. When her eyes met his, she realized by the hurt look on his face that he _heard_ her thoughts. Then his face became stern and emotionless. She saw him grab a shirt and walking away to exit the room.

"Ben, that's not wh-"

"Don't bother to justify yourself. It's crystal clear."

"No, I didn't mean it like that"

"You still think I'm a monster and yet you kissed me"

"I didn't mean for that to happen" she stated.

" Oh I know! I felt your disgust!"

And there it was. The sharp knife piercing through his chest at the simple thought of her being disgusted by him. Would he be this monster forever? He never wanted that, or at least not like that. All he has done was for the sole purpose of bringing order to the galaxy. He never thought a second his vision or action could be wrong. The woman he loved was there, in front of him and thought of him as a monster. It was pathetic. Laughable even. However, a part of him still had hope. Maybe love gave him hope; something he thought he would never feel again.

Rey was carefully thinking of which word to use as she knew he was hurt enough. It was clear for her that she was disgusted by her own actions and not him. The voices….what was the meaning of those? She knew that it was a manifestation of her fears but what Ben heard was only one side of a coin. He meant so much more to her.

" Yes...I mean...no …. it's it's not like that at all...I ...it's complicated"

"I shouldn't be surprised judging by your standards. I'm not a debonair pilot" he spat.

"What the….it has nothing to do with…. you are…aaargh" she stammered.

"_He's so much more attractive than Poe….why would he even think that? What I am supposed to say now?_" she thought.

Ben was staring at her, waiting for an answer. Rey sighed and averted her gaze. Her cheeks were burning only thinking about what she was about to say and her mouth felt dry.

"You and him are different but both of you look good so it has nothing to do with that"

And there she felt it. A glimpse of hope through the bond coming from him. It was very tiny but it felt like a warm light in the dead of night. He walked back close to her, but way too close. Rey put some distance between them.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked closing the distance again, until he could feel her breath on his skin.

Rey recoiled again.

"No! You're going to stop that right now. We can't do that. It's wrong on so many levels and not only because I'm part of the Resistance"

"What do you mean?" he asked frowning.

"I'm with someone, I committed myself to this relationship"

Those words felt so wrong out of her mouth but were true. She _was_ with Poe.

"The weak pilot" Ben said with a sarcastic tone.

"Yes! The 'weak pilot' who happens to be a kind and decent man"

Ben's nostril flared. She cared too much about that kriffing pilot to his liking. The simple thought of those disgusting hands on her body made him lose the little ounce of reason he had left.

"_**You're mine" **_he screamed through the bond.

"You think I'm some kind of object? I'M NOT ANYONE'S PROPERTY! "

Judging by his face, Rey noticed he didn't meant for her to hear his thought.

"WHY WON'T YOU LET GO?!" he yelled at her.

"WHY? Are you serious? Ben, we are on opposite sides of a war. There is no way this can end well and you know it. I won't be a Dark Side user and you don't want to come back to the Light. How on Jakku is _this_ supposed to work?" she said, trying to mime their bond with gestures.

"How long are you going to ignore your true feelings? Until you and this garbage are married and have offspring?" he spat with disgust.

He walked towards her, fists clenched.

"ADMIT IT ! ADMIT YOU FEEL SOMETHING!" he yelled at her, out of rage.

Rey recoiled at the violence of his gesture as the pain and despair channeled through the bond. She looked at him with pity and slowly shook her head.

Ben felt pathetic hearing his own words and it drove him even madder. Deep inside he knew there was a want to belong, buried in his soul, to be loved and it was all resurfacing. He needed so much to hear it from her. He deserved it.

"I'm tired…. so tired….You knew I was with someone and you kept doing all of this. Why do you have to make things difficult for me every time?" she said, unable to hide her disappointment. "The bond that we have…..it won't go away. It's for life, we can't remove it. You can't just do what-"

"There is a way to stop this connection between us. One of us have to die"

"Stop" she said, unwilling to go down this road.

"You know what you have to d-"

"STOP" she screamed.

Streaks of tear fell down her cheeks. He moved his hand and his lightsaber flew right to his palm. His free hand gently took hers and he placed the hilt inside, active end towards his abdomen.

" If you want to put an end to this, be my guest" he calmly said, his hand cupping hers.

Rey felt the darkness flowing in her. It was like a miasma hurricane. Echoes of voices keep telling her to do it and end this pain. To kill the man in front of her. There would be no more choice for her to do, no more Supreme Leader, and maybe no war. Her fingers tightened around the hilt, shaking, but Ben didn't flinch. The voices became louder and more overwhelming but when her eyes met his, it all vanished. The Light filled her whole body, crushing the darkness. Her fingers relaxed and the hilt fell on the floor.

"I can't" she whispered in defeat.

"That's what I thought" he said before leaving the room.

Rey was lain on the bed looking at the ceiling and waiting for Ben to be back to his quarters. It's been probably thirty minutes now that he left and she wondered what he was doing. She glanced at the shelf on which books was stored. A red book with golden letters caught her attention. The young girl grabbed it and sat back on the bed. Her finger trailed down the cover.

"Through passion I gain strength" she read out loud.

"_It's part of the Sith code" _she recalled from the old Jedi books.

She browsed the book and blush came to her cheeks. The drawings were depicting a man and woman, both naked, in various sexual "positions". She stopped on a page and her eyes widened. The drawing showed a woman on her knees with a man just behind her grabbing her breast and kissing her neck while….

"Found something of interest?"

Rey closed the book, startled. The Dark Knight was leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom, raising an eyebrow at her. He walked towards the bed and sat next to her. He grabbed the book and looked at the young woman whose face turned now into bright shades of red.

"I...when I saw passion….I didn't expect….well...that" she stammered, trying her best not to cross his gaze.

She took a deep breath, aiming focus.

" How can you gain strength from…. from…."

"I'm genuinely surprised that a Jedi would show interest in Sith doctrine" he calmly said.

"I will never be a Sith and…. I'm not sure I'm a Jedi. It's complicated."

"Well, attachments are forbidden but you already know that. No love, no family and…." he paused for a second then resumed.

"...no carnal desires".

She gulped, heart thumping in her chest as if wanting to burst out of her ribcage. Why was he so damn close? And why was he looking at her like that.

" As a Sith, do you-"

"I'm not a Sith" he retorted, obviously offended.

She looked at her puzzled.

"But-"

"The Sith way isn't perfect but the Jedi way is even more imperfect. I cannot see how a life with no attachment is feasible. Besides, one day…" he looked at her in the eyes "...I hope I can have a family of my own. Isn't that something you want?"

Rey's eyes lowered. Of course she wanted a family. However she was afraid at the simple thought of having a child and potentially turn into her parents. Her fear perspired through the bond in an echo.

Ben put his hand on her in a very delicate manner.

"Rey, you're not and will never be like your parents"

She could tell in her eyes that he meant it and it totally soothed her to the core.

"So, about that book" he said opening the book at a random page. "You wondered how to gain strength with passion, is that right?"

She nodded and her sun kissed cheeks flushed.

"The two times you kissed me"

"TWO?!"

"When you were drugged, you….well...you kind of kissed me"

She buried her face in her hands out of shame. She only had a glimpse of happened that night and didn't know she went that far.

"Oh kriff….I'm sorry"

"It's okay. It wasn't perfect but-" he said smirking.

She threw a light punch at his shoulder.

"Hey!" she said pouting.

"Pshh ! I'm sorry not to be as experienced as the almighty_ 'Supreme Leader'_ . I didn't have hundreds of people to practice with!"

He moved closer.

"Hundreds?" he asked raising his eyebrows "Well, I must say I'm flattered but you're far from the truth"

Rey looked at him perplexed. A part of her wanted to know how many women he was with. Maz said he had no interest in them but she wouldn't know his whole history, would she? Something was spiking in her chest thinking of someone tasting his lips, touching him in a familiar manner. She found herself wanting to be the only one to do that. Her, who has always been so altruistic, had for once and egoistic thought.

"Tell me, who was your first kiss with?" he asked, heart tightening.

She took a deep breath and thought for a moment.

"I think it was Poe, it was quite by surprise to be honest, I didn't expect this. I've imagined my first kiss to be more...I don't know….more like what you read in holonovels" she said, her lips drawing a faint smile.

It hurt Ben so much to hear that. His nails dig into the mattress. He should have been the first. The one. He would have make it magical; the way she wanted it to be. He would offer her everything, the whole universe if needed.

"So...you've never had someone kissing you with your consent"

Rey didn't know if that was a question or if he was simply talking to himself.

Ben moved his face dangerously close to hers, his hand gliding on the bed sheets behind her back.

"W-what are you do-"

He placed a finger on her lips to silence her. Her eyes grew wide, back and forth on his lips and his eyes. A shiver ran down her spine when she realized the intensity of his gaze. His two amber pools almost felt hypnotic.

" As an acquaintance of yours, I can offer you a chance to try again" he whispered smoothly.

"That...would not be fair to Poe, we're…..together"

"Let's just say it is purely professional…." he softly whispered, grazing his nose on hers. "...Tell me to stop if you don't want it."

The warmth of his breath fell on her lips like the Jakku sun warming the sand at dawn. Speaking was what she should have done but something deep inside made her want to feel those lips. She didn't say a thing when his hand cupped her face. She didn't say a thing when his thumb stroked her cheek. She didn't say a thing when his lips landed on hers.

The heat wave that found its course through her body made her shiver. She could feel her clitoris throbbing in anticipation. All the sensations were overwhelming and soon she noticed the whole bed vibrating along with the bedside table. His free hand found its way to the small of her back and he lowered her back against the mattress, placing himself on top of her.

The young woman broke the kiss, panting and trying to catch her breath. She heard a faint growl of frustration coming from the man in front of her.

"It's….too much" she whispered.

She has never felt this way. The intoxication was real and deep, rumbling in her core. It felt so good it hurt. He awoke something in her that she couldn't put words on.

Ben knew she wanted it as he could feel it through the bond. Nevertheless, she was still holding on. She was always holding on. He wanted to tell her to let go but remembered that last time he did it was a total mess. He didn't want to force her in any way. In his vision, she was with him willingly and he was determined in making it happen one way or another.


	13. Chapter 13: Lenocinium

**Chapter 13: Lenocinium**

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**Author's note:** here's chapter 13 guys! Took me a while but I'm a perfectionist and I wanted to convey the right emotions here! Hope you like it! Enjoy 3

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Rey took a deep breath but kept looking at him in the eyes. She has never been with a man before and she didn't know what to do. She was afraid to talk. Afraid he would think she is silly. Afraid he would make fun of her.

Ben felt a mixture of fear and anxiousness from the bond. Was she afraid of him? He was about to move away when she grabbed his shoulder. Her cheeks were pink and she averted her gaze.

"It's not you….I….I've never….done that before…." she said, unconfident.

His face showed complete relief and his gaze softened as his hand gently stroke her cheek. Ben would never have thought he could love someone so much. The Supreme Leader of the First Order, in the arms of his enemy, felt complete for the first time of his life.

" Neither did I" he admitted.

Her face showed genuine surprise and misunderstanding. She did not expect that much honesty. He was unashamed and surprisingly confident. After all he could not lie; not to her.

"B-But I thought….since you're older…."

He softly smiled at her and Maker, she was beautiful lying there under him. Everything about her was a beauty. Her fierceness, he courage, her smartness , her eyes, her freckles….the way her strands of hair fell on her face… she was an art masterpiece. He wished he could stop time and stay like this forever.

"I guess no woman has ever sparked my interest like you do" he said, dropping butterfly kisses on her neck.

"Ben…." she moaned as Ben kept nuzzling in her neck, brushing his lips against her skin, intoxicated.

"Mmh?"

He lost all of his reason next to her. The ache kept growing in his body and he felt lust along with Darkness taking over. He wanted to rip her clothes, turn her over and take her possessively, with no tenderness. Her scent was driving him mad as he plunged into the darkest paths of his fantasies. The young Leader took both of her wrists and pinned them above her head with way much more force than he intended. He grinded against her cunt and the sound of wetness coming from it almost made him lose the little control he had over his urges. The Darkness felt more and more overwhelming, clouding his mind and judgment. Ben wanted to give in, and take what was rightfully his. Take her.

Rey's mouth escaped a moan as he pinned her wrists against the bed and she felt almost ashamed of liking him handling her so roughly. Eyes closed, she could feel his arousal as if it was hers. Between her legs, she felt hot liquid dripping abundantly from her folds. She blushed realizing her need of feeling it inside, feeling him inside. When she opened her eyes, she saw his eyes. They were golden.

"B-Ben, your eyes….they are golden"

The sound of her voice brought him back to reason and he felt ashamed of thinking of taking her that way. The gold color of his irises slowly faded away as he got out of his trance state. For the first time in his life he was afraid of the Darkness taking over him. Afraid of hurting someone he loved so much. Afraid of losing her again. He slowly freed her hands, lowering his head.

"Rey….if we go further, I'll need to make some….arrangements"

She looked at him puzzled.

"I… You have to understand that Snoke…..he was against all form of distractions, including intimate relationships. I've been repressing my ...needs….for a long time and it actually worked until ….well...until I met you"

Rey parted her lips, heart in her throat. He took a deep breath before resuming.

" A moment ago, I felt the darkness lashing out and…. I think we should use something"

"What do you mean?" she said, eyes full of curiosity.

He slightly bend over to open the bedside table drawer. Rey saw him draw a pair of binders.

Ben saw her eyes widening and her pupil expanding. Her lust echoed through the bond.

"_Don't tell me she think it's for her...Damn….as if it wasn't hard enough…" _he thought.

She thought the binders were for her and her desire made his member harder than ever. He was thinking of protecting her and she was turned on by the thought of him cuffing her. He was completely baffled at the realization and struggled not to reach his breaking point, not to let the Darkness invading his mind, with a determination he didn't think he had. The young girl offered him her wrists in anticipation with a shallow breath.

" Huh...it's for ...me" he said, clearing his throat and averting his gaze.

Rey's cheeks were flamed red.

"Oh...o-of course" she stammered as she lowered her wrists, abashed.

It was tempting, so tempting to ask her what she desired. If she maybe wished for him to bind her. He shook the vision of a submissive Rey forming in his mind. One breach and Darkness would rise and he might ruin the moment and do something he might regret. In his younger years, he always thought girls were emotional and he thought only men had this kind of fantasies. Yet, she was there, offering herself to him submissively, seductively.

His hands reflexively removed his shirt hastily. He could feel Rey's gaze devouring his torso, lingering on every single on his scars. Desire kept building in him and he felt torn apart.

Rey could feel his fear through their connection and slowly brushed his cheeks with her fingers.

" I know you won't hurt me Ben"

He could feel her strong Light radiating from the tip of her fingers as he lowered his head and let out an almost inaudible sigh.

"I can't risk it. I'm not myself when….when we're like this" he stated.

Rey became aware of his growing erection against her thigh and knew where this was going. She had no experience but had witnessed couples on Jakku engaging in that sort of behavior. She wanted more but couldn't resolve to go further without settling things with Poe first. It would not be fair to him but it was heartbreaking because Maker knows being in Ben's arms felt amazing, no matter how much she tried to convince herself of the opposite.

"Ben….I'd like to make things clear with Poe before we….before we go ...further"

Knowing she was willing to be more intimate filled him with glee but soon the concern won over. His brows furrowed.

"Rey….are you going to tell him about us? Because if you are, it'd be pure suicide. And if the First Order knows you and I are-"

"Are you ashamed of us? Of me?" she asked, afraid of his answer.

She could not help but thinking that they were from different worlds. He was an heir, a prince, and she was a desert rat. A nobody. Nothing. Tears started to make her eyes glisten.

Ben tossed the binders aside and cupped her face, pressing his forehead against hers tenderly.

"No Rey….of course not, but I can't let my army know that I'm with the enemy. If you joined us however, it would -"

"And we're back to that again" she said with a long sigh full of exasperation.

Ben looked away, pondering, then looked back at her.

"Have you even thought about the consequences of telling that to the Resistance members? How will they see that? What if they banish you?"

"They would never do that? They're my friends"

"FN-2187 is your friend-"

"His name is Finn" she retorted.

"Yeah whatever, what about the others? What do you think few people can do against few dozen of angry people? What if they try to hurt you because they think you are a danger? I don't want you to put yourself in unnecessary danger"

Ben was genuinely afraid that the Resistance would turn against her and that he would be unable to be there and protect her. Physical harm was something but he was even more afraid of the emotional damage it would cause her. She considered the Resistance as her family now. If something like that happened, something inside her would broke. She had enough people that let her down.

Rey knew he was right. Leia, Rose, Finn and Poe was her friends, but what about the others? Would they show tolerance? She knew a lot of members were advancing their cause with fervor so maybe some of them might think she switched sides and became a spy for the First Order.

" I won't tell anyone for now but I need to tell Leia and of course Poe"

"Don't tell my mother, please" he said blushing 'That would be….embarrassing"

"_Damn, he is such a child__**"**_she thought before rolling her eyes.

"Why? She would be understanding with the situation and she would be so happy to know her son isn't gone." she said, almost pleading

"I'm not the son she used to know" he said coldly.

"The same way she isn't the mother you used to know. I won't tell her about us Ben, but I'm hoping you will yourself."

And there she was, giving him those puppy eyes. How could he even say no to her looking at those eyes? He hated that power she had over him.

"I'll consider that" he said, annoyed.

Rey's face brightened with the light of a thousand stars.

"You will? Really?" she asked, unable to hide her excitement.

"I will"

He smiled in defeat.

"Okay, so I'm only telling Poe then"

"Are you sure about that? What if he reacts violently? He's not the kind of guy to tolerate being second, trust me on that."

" Poe would never lay a hand on me! You think you know him so well do you?"

"I knew him when we were young. He was my mother's _protégé_ . The son she dreamt of having-'

"Don't say that" she retorted.

Ben clenched his jaws, turmoil electrifying his mind.

"That's the truth. When his parents died, my mother took him under her wings. He was so perfect!" Ben's voice was filled with both disgust and sarcasm. "If she could have had him instead of me, she would have been happier"

"That's not true, stop saying things like that. Your mother loves you, you're the only son she has."

"I could see the way she was proud of him, of his accomplishments, when she sent me away , she….' he paused for a moment then resumed "That guy he…."

"_took everything from me"_ his mind screamed.

He stopped there, unable to hide his emotion any longer. The pain, the longing, everything. The bond reflected his suffering and soon Rey could feel it, like thunder roaring in the darkness.

She shivered as she circled her arms around him and pulled him in a tight hug. She didn't need to say anything as she felt from him that this simple contact filled with empathy was enough to soothe him.

"Just be careful then if you tell him. Please."

"I promise I will so don't you worry okay?"

She got up from the bed and looked at him. His face showed concern. She slowly took his hand sending him reassuring vibes through the bond.

"Oh and ...I'm sorry for ….ruining the mood" she said with scarlet cheeks.

His thumb gently stroked her wrist.

"I'm not in a hurry" he said, lips drawing a soft smile.

Ben find his way to the wardrobe, obviously looking for something. He then turned back to her and handed her a long black coat. He knew she had to go. She has been away for long enough.

Rey gave him an empathetic smile and circled her arms around him once again. It was hard and she wondered how she became so accustomed of having him close to her. It felt normal. She could feel his hand running in her hair. It felt he was hugging her as if he was never going to see her again.

Ben realized how much he needed her. How much being away from her would hurt even more now that they got so close. She was now his oxygen, his water. They slowly broke their embrace in a whisper. Ben saw her amber eyes looking at him softly.

"Hey, don't give me that face, we're connected remember? I'll see you soon!"

Ben wished he could tell her how soon would never be soon enough; that he had a bad feeling about her telling people about them. However, he stayed quiet.

"When you exit the quarters, take the east elevator to floor 2, go through the corridor and take the stairs on your left. You'll find a back door there"

"Thank you" she said, raising herself on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on his cheek. "See you soon Ben"

As she moved towards the door, he called her and grabbed her wrist.

"Yes?" she asked.

Ben wanted to tell her. Tell her how much she meant to him; how he has never felt like this before. Flashes from the Throne Room came to his mind. Last time he tried to tell her she was important to him, it wasn't a success. He was certain his father would make fun of him from above. Son of a lady-killer who was unable to do a proper confession….what a shame. He thought he couldn't put word on what he felt before but now he could. He loved her. He loved everything about her.

" Take care" he finally said.

"I will, I promise" said a smiling Rey.

She was about to go when he stopped her again. This time her eyes were full of questions.

"What I said in the Throne Room...about you being nothing….you're not nothing"

Ben saw the brightest of smiles on her face. He could see in her eyes she was saying "I know".

"_**You're everything to me" **_he thought.

He then watched her disappear and the door closed behind her. The hollow feeling in his chest wouldn't go away but he had to live with it; live with it until he meets her again. He walked towards the window which transparency allowed the room to be painted with vibrant colors. Dawn came as she left.


	14. Chapter 14: Sisterhood

**Chapter 14: Sisterhood**

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**Author's note:** Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait! Had tons of paperwork to do these past 2 months but I'm back. Next update will be next week :). Hope you guys are as excited as me to watch episode IX!

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When Rey got back to her camp, she made her report to Leia about the success of the mission. She could feel the concern lingering on the General's mind before the latter spoke.

"Are you alright?" the old woman asked, a hand on the Scavenger's shoulder.

Flashes from the night came to her mind. The trauma, the comfort, everything. All that happened created a mix of emotions inside her body and mind. It felt wrong to withhold such important information from from someone she considered like a mother but she wanted to respect Ben's wishes.

"I am" she said, trying to have a reassuring tone.

Rey could tell by the way Leia looked at her that she knew she was hiding something but the general didn't dig further, as if knowing it would make her feel not at ease.

"Have some rest child, you deserve it." she said before leaving the tent.

Rey nodded and find her way back to the Falcon to have a nap. She got into the fresher and caught a glimpse of her naked body in the mirror. Ben's healing worked wonders. There was barely no traces left from what she went through with Hux, only invisible scars in her memory. Her hand ventured at her chest and suddenly, a hint of anxiousness got her. Years of scavenging did her femininity no good and she wasn't self conscious until now. Her muscles were defined but she felt like her body was too masculine. She didn't have big breasts, nothing like those girls at the hotel.

"_Maybe he doesn't like them_" she thought to herself. _"Aren't men supposed to like them big?"_

She recalled Plutt calling her flat-chested when she refused sexual favors in exchange of portions. She didn't care, she was trying to survive and it was all that mattered at that moment. Never before would she have cared about the way she looks, but that was before. A breeze of panic slowly nested in her belly.

"_Kriff, what if he doesn't like my body but doesn't say anything to be polite?_"she thought to herself with a facepalm.

"Okay, okay, time to focus now Rey" she said, taking a deep breath before resuming her showering.

Hair brushed and night clothes on, she laid on her bed . That is when she heard a small voice from behind the door. It was Rose's voice. She smiled noticing how shy she sounded.

"Rey? Are you in there?"

"Come in Rose"

The door opened and Rose joined her on the bed. She took Rey's hands in hers.

"I heard you totally rocked the mission! That's amazing!"

It really warmed Rey's heart to see how friendly Rose was, even though they didn't know each other for long. She heard Rose lost her sister during an attack on the First Order when she was looking for Luke. A lot of people died that day. Death was something she didn't have to deal with and now, it was so common, so sickeningly common. She realized all her Resistance comrades had to witness the death of their loved ones, friends, allies, family. At the thought of seeing Finn dying, her stomach churned. She always wished to know what having friends and family felt like but she realized that this feeling is bittersweet because she would have now so much to lose. The scavenger looked at her with compassion.

"I never got the chance to tell you...I'm sorry for what happened to your sister"

" She died defending the cause….our cause. We need to bring peace to the galaxy" Rose said with a sad smile. "I'm glad we have you on our side, her death won't be in vain, we will succeed, I feel it"

"Well, they have you too. I mean, you're the one who saved Finn! I'm so grateful someone took care of this stubborn guy while I was away! So thank you!"

She could feel the mechanic's nervousness rising at the mention of Finn but she couldn't pinpoint why. Rose withdrew her hands and inhaled loudly.

"Rey….I….I wanted to ask you….Finn... do... you like him? ...I mean…" she stuttered.

Rey's eyes became as wide as saucers understanding what she meant.

"Oh! No no no! It's not like that at all! Finn is my best friend. Well… he's my very first friend. He's more like a brother you know! Wait….are you….in love with him?" she asked, unable to hide the little excitement that wrapped her voice.

Rose's cheeks turned crimson.

"Please don't tell him"

Now her whole face was as red as a kavasa fruit.

"No, of course not! Are you planning to confess?I mean, you should tell him. I saw how he took care of you when you were unconscious. He cares for you."

"I...huh...don't know how he feels about me. I'm so afraid to be rejected. He always keeps talking and worrying about you. If you were to have feelings for him, I wouldn't stand a chance to be honest." she said scratching her neck.

"Well, we met when he left the First Order so I'm kinda his first normal friend you know. I'm sure it's just friendship he feels towards me but could test the waters if you want" Rey said.

"You would? Really?" Rose asked, her face brightening at the idea.

"Sure, no problem"

The young mechanic tried as hard as she could to conceal her excitement but it clearly showed. Then, she looked at Rey's hair and stood up to grab the comb that was on her chest of drawers. Sitting back on the bed, she made a gesture proposing to Rey to braid her hair, just as she was used to with her sister, and the latter gladly accepted. As Rey's hair slipped through her fingers, she spoke again.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you dummie!" Rose asked with a chuckle "Do you love someone?"

Rose kept intertwining Rey's chestnut locks and ended the braid with a leather thread.

"How do you know you love someone? In a romantic way I mean." she asked, turning to face her.

Rose pondered the question for a moment.

"Well, you feel butterflies in your stomach and warmth when he's close to you and touches you. Words from him have a deeper impact, whether it's good or bad. You miss him a lot when he's not around. Sometimes you get a little jealous" she said, raising an eyebrow at her " when he get close to a another girl."

The face of Ben materialized in her mind. Was it that? Was it...love? She never loved someone that way or felt butterflies in her stomach when being close to a man before. With Ben, it was more like a tornado than butterflies. He seems to flip her whole stomach upside down. When he wasn't there….it felt empty. Each time the bond severed, there was this coldness that came back in waves. She always felt a part of her was missing but have never been able to understand why. This bond meant she would never be alone anymore and in a way it was comforting. She gasped realizing the ache his absence caused; she misses him so much, missing his eyes, his touch, his lips. It left her just like when she was starving back on Jakku. Having him close to her wasn't something she wanted anymore, it was something she needed.

"I'm….I'm with Poe"

"So the rumor was true then…." she paused for a second and gave her a mischievous look "Is he a good kisser?"

"I don't have much to compare but he's okay I guess"

"Is he a good lover?"

"I wouldn't know, we didn't get that intimate" she said, with a shy smile and pink cheeks.

"What? Really? That's surprising from him!"

Rose felt something was off in the way Rey talked about Poe.

"Hey, what's the matter? What's with that face?"

That is when Rey opened like a Nyork. She needed to talk about that with someone. The burden was too heavy on her shoulders. She took a long inspiration.

"I've never been with anyone before and...I started to feel things for someone I shouldn't feel things for and when Poe offered to be my boyfriend, I thought it could maybe help forget that person. However, in the end, I'm afraid it's a lost cause. We got closer recently and I started to feel bad regarding Poe"

Rose made her turn around to tuck the wild strands of hair that were on Rey's face behind her ears.

"Love isn't something you choose, you know. However, you should be honest with Poe. I've known him for quite a while . He's always been a womanizer but the way he looks at you….he loves you Rey"

"I know" Rey said, dropping her shoulders. "I'm planning to tell him soon. I'm trying to find the right words"

"Well you know, there is no right word in a breakup. Either one or both go heartbroken anyway. Don't wait too long"

Rey twisted her fingers in her tunic. She was afraid of his reaction and hurting someone who welcomed her with such warmth among his people….she didn't know which words to use.

"So…. tell me more about that guy you like, what does he look like?"

Rey looked at the ceiling.

"He's really tall...he has dark hair...and they are really soft…. His body is...hum ….very…. carved. His skin tone is paler than mine. He isn't the typical attractive guy but he has so much charisma and his eyes …"

The hut scene replayed in her mind. His eyes…. the longing, the comfort….

"...his eyes are so…."

Rey cleared her throat realizing she was starting to swoon over Ben. It was so easy getting carried away when speaking of him.

" So in short, he looks good to me"

"Hate to tell you that but you are deeply in love girl!" she said laughing. "Tell me, what does he do for a living?"

"It's...it's complicated" she said, scratching her neck.

"Ooooh is he a bad guy?Smuggler? Gambler?"

"Hum...you could say that"

"_**Well….he's the leader of the First Order….an authoritarian regime, who is indirectly responsible for your sister's death…. Kriff, I'm the worst person you could talk to Rose…." **_she thought.

"Have you guys kissed already? Have you guys done it?" Rose asked raising an eyebrow.

"Done what?"

"You know….sex!"

She turned around, blushing.

"Rose!"

"Oh come on! I wanna know all the juicy details!I've been so bored these past couple of days! I need something to feed my creative soul"

"Discussion over" Rey said with a chuckle.

Rose stood up and walked towards the door. She gave a last look at Rey, full of determination and pointed a finger at her.

"This is not over" the young girl said winking before disappearing behind the automatic door.

She didn't know how to explain to anyone what was going on between her and Ben. Only Leia, who is Force sensitive could possibly understand the bond they shared. Deep inside, she feared their reaction. Especially Finn who was her very first true friend. She was afraid he would never talked to her again because he felt betrayed. It was so hard and felt so wrong to lie to them since they welcomed her as a part of their family but sooner or later, she would have to tell them.

She spent the whole evening tried to avoid Leia, sneaking to grab food at dinner time. She thought she succeeded until she heard a knock on her door, and she recognized her Force signature. A radiant and pure Light. She let the old woman enter her bedroom and both sat on the bed.

" You wanted to speak to me General?"

"Leia"

"Leia" she corrected with a smile.

Leia stared at the young girl whose fingers were touching each other nervously.

"Is there a reason you've been avoiding me lately?"

"What?! I would never...I wasn't…"

The General stopped her.

"It was just an impression. I wanted to make sure so don't worry about it . Have you seen my son lately?"

That was exactly what she was trying to avoid. Awkward subjects. Especially after what happened between her and Ben. Her cheeks turned crimson and she struggled to articulate what she wanted to say.

"Huh...y-yes"

"How is he?" she asked concerned.

Images of their kiss, their embrace, his touch, his chest, how his body was pressed against hers…..every thought was roaming chaotically in her mind.

"_**Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't you think about it Rey" **_she thought, trying to shake those thoughts away.

"I...He's in good shape...no….I mean….He's doing good" she stammered as the flush reached her ears.

_**"Maker do something to stop this conversation!"**_

Leia studied the young girl whose downcast eyes didn't met hers since she entered the room.

Rey's now red ears were burning as she could feel the insistent gaze of Leia on her. She watched the General heading to the door and caught a glimpse of smile on her face as the latter stood up.

"Dr Murphy can provide you with contraceptives if you ever need them. Better safe than sorry in that time of war"

Rey looked at her in shock, unable to let a sound out of her mouth.

"_**How on Jakku did she find out ? Did she read my mind? There's no way….I'm sure I would have felt it..."**_

"Don't be so surprised. I don't need the Force to read people. Besides, Solos are the flirtatious kind, I should know, I married one" she said, letting out a small chuckle before leaving.

Rey swore she heard Leia saying something about young lovers in the corridor. She sighed and let herself fall on her bed, her face sinking in the pillow. That was so embarrassing. Leia's sixth sense was sharp. She felt exposed and troubled. Tiredness kicked in and slowly, she let her mind drifting in the realm of dreams.

The next day, she started exploring the area after having lunch with Finn and Rose; a lunch she had to cut short because of Rose giving her obvious stares and smilings at her all along. As she went deeper into the vegetation, she removed her boots to feel the grass under her bare feet. She loved that feeling. Sand was hot, coarse, irritating. Grass on the other hand was fresh, soft and soil was so fertile that it seemed anything would grow on it. She roamed among the trees, marveling at the greeneries. She felt so at ease surrounded by the peaceful sound of nature she let herself having a nap sat under a nearby tree.

When she woke up, she felt surrounded by a familiar warmth. She slowly opened her eyes and look at the man on who she was lain against.

"Mmmh….Am I dreaming?"

"No, it's Force bond sweetheart" said the man tenderly.

"Sweetheart?". She nuzzled against his chest with a smile. "I like that"

Rey looked up to the sky who now showed golden and pink colors and her face turned pale. She instantly got on her feet followed by Ben who got alarmed.

" It's almost night! Kriff! I have a meeting to attend. I wish I could stay but I have go I'm sorry Ben." she said heading to the camp.

Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her back, then circling his arms around her. He left his mind opened so she could feel how much he missed her. She couldn't help but letting the sadness overwhelming her but somehow a small part of her felt happiness at the simple thought of being wanted that way. No one has ever missed her when she was on Jakku.

"Do you have to go so soon?" he asked, his hand running through her locks.

She slowly broke the hug with a sigh; hands resting on his forearms.

"I'd love to stay but this is a very important meeting for us. We might have found allies to-" she stopped herself.

Ben looked at her with a sad smile and felt the pain in her chest as if it was his own. He raised his hand and gently stroke her cheek.

"It's okay. I understand."

A branch cracking caught their attention and startled them. Rey's face became livid as she saw the man clearly in shock standing before them near the tree.

"W-What?!" the man stuttered.

Ben looked at the man with flames in his eyes but as he removed his hand from her cheek, the bond broke and he was back in his chambers. His fists clenched and he couldn't help but feel the anxiety and fear consume his body.


	15. Chapter 15: Tréas

**Chapter 15: Tréas**

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Author's note: Here is chapter 15 guys! Hope you enjoy 3

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"Poe….Poe let me explain" she said walking towards him as if he was a scared animal.

His features showed disdain and disgust. How would she explain all of this? How could she possibly make him understand that there is still Light in Ben Solo?

"Explain…..EXPLAIN WHAT? WHY ARE YOU…..HOW….THAT WAS….".Poe was lost for word.

Rey extended her hand, trying to calm him but he jerked away. Her vision got blurry as tears flowed out.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" he screamed.

"Please…..you don't understand…. there-"

"Oh! I don't understand? What is there to understand here? You were standing right there with OUR ENEMY! HE WAS HERE? AND...AND THEN HE JUST DISAPPEARED!HOW?!"

"We….we are connected through the Force. I know I shouldn't have hide that from you. It's just…..it's...complicated but can't see each other surroundings unless …..we have physical contact but I-"

"You're putting the entire resistance at risk. I can't believe it…." he said, looking at her in disbelief.

"I never told him anything about the Resistance. You have to believe me. Poe, please calm down, I swear i didn-" she said taking his hand but he jerked away again.

"HOW LONG?"

She lowered her head, hugging herself.

"HOW LONG?" he asked again, more vehemently this time.

Rey recoiled. His anger outburst was raw. There was something in his eyes that reverberated the rip of something buried deep inside his soul.

"The connection started after I found Luke on Ahch-To and-"

"THIS IS NOT WHAT I ASKED!"

She looked at him, knitting her eyebrow as the tears continued their descent on her cheeks.

" HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN THAT INTIMATE? HOW FAR DID IT GO?"

Rey was completely baffled by his question. She wanted to tell him it was none of his business but he actually had every right to ask. She was the one who accepted to be in a relationship with him. Nevertheless, Rey felt no matter what she would say, Poe would not accept it. It was not the Commander who was waiting for answers, it was the man.

" We shared a ….kiss and that's all" . A white lie is nothing….isn't it?

"Shared? You kissed that thing willingly?"

Rey deliberately looked away. She stayed silent but anger boiled through her bones.

"I'm guessing he told you he would change and as the gullible and naive girl you are, you believed him. He manipulated you!"

It was raging….even if what she did was wrong.

A little part of herself got filled with doubt. What if he was manipulating her so his vision of her ruling with him would become true? Could he? She could see what was in his mind to a certain extent but what if he was able to conceal some things from her?

"He told me nothing, there is still Light in him. You don't know the whole story, he was man-"

"WHEN?"

"When?"

" WHEN DID THAT ABOMINATION HAPPENED? THIS KISS!"

"Is that all you care about? Your only concern?" she asked offended.

"I want to know how long you've been lying to me and all of us"

She took a deep breath realizing she cheated on him and she couldn't help but feeling a little disgust creeping in her core. No matter how transcendent the bond was, she already made a commitment with Poe. Accepting this relationship was wrong from the beginning. She cursed at herself for not realizing sooner, for being so blind. She wanted to run away from her true feelings because she knew it would be impossible to be with the enemy. She should have stopped him.

" When I infiltrated the First Order. He...he saved me from Hux"

"Oh! How wonderful. That surely makes up for everything, right?" he said sarcastically.

"That's not what I said. If you could just give him a chance, I know he could may-"

"HE'S A MURDERER! FOR FORCE'S SAKE REY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? HE'S KILLED PEOPLE! DECIMATED ENTIRE POPULATIONS! CHILDREN,WOMEN! HOW BLIND CAN YOU BE TO THROW YOURSELF THIS MONSTER'S ARMS?"

Her lips were shaking and she recoiled at the violence of his words. At that moment, she wanted to disappear and shove those problems away. She wished Ben wasn't the Supreme Leader of the First Order. She wished just for a moment to go far from everyone. She almost wished to go back to Jakku. With everything going on, her old life felt like a peaceful one compared to this.

"You think I did this on purpose? It's not like I could choose….I….I didn't expect to….to….". Words got stuck in her throat.

Poe's eyes widened. This was a nightmare and he truly wished he could wake up.

" Don't tell me …. you have feelings for him?!"

His tone was wrapped in utter disgust. She could feel his pain and his distrust as she fell on her knees and braced herself. She wanted to say she was sorry but how could she be sorry for something she had no control over?And in the end, was she even sorry to feel something that was amazing? Especially when it is the first time she had such intense feelings for someone? She tried her best to avoid those, thinking of her friends before herself. After the fight in the throne room, she could have joined him but she did not, because it was the right thing to do and because the life of her friends were at stake. The way things are, she felt like will only lose at the end of the war wether the First order wins .

Poe turned to face her and met defiant eyes.

"I joined your cause. Gave my time, and left my life on Jakku. I REFUSED HIS OFFER!" her tone startled Poe.

"Offer?" he asked, unsure.

"He's the one who killed Snoke" she said with a defensive tone.

"What do you mean?"

"Snoke tortured me in front of him and ordered him to kill me but he killed Snoke instead"

Poe flinched, he could not believe what he had just heard.

"So what? You think it's for you?"

"That's not what I-"

"He killed Snoke to take his place and have power. You simply offered him an opportunity."

"Maybe you're right. Or maybe there is still Light in him and if so, this could be how we win"

"You're delusional"

"I'd never betray the Resistance! When the First Order attacked the Resistance. He offered me to rule with him and I declined because else, all of you guys would be dead! You're in no position to question my loyalty to the Resistance!"

"Did you want to join him?"

"Excuse me?" she paused a second then resumed "I didn't want to rule with Kylo Ren if that's what you're asking!"

"Yeah….you wanted to be with Ben" he said, full of sarcasm.

Rey was left speechless as Poe turned her back to her, ready to head back to the camp.

"Are you….are you going to tell everyone?" she asked trying to hold back the sobs threatening to come out.

Her desperate tone did not make Poe flinch. As a matter of fact, he didn't even bother to turn around to answer her. He remained static like a figure in the dark that was evelopping the planet as the sun set.

"You're the hope of the Resistance. I won't tell anyone for now. This news would be devastating for our people an-"

"I'm still on your side. I'm with the Resistance" she said, trying to plead her cause.

She wants to put an end to the First Order and is determined to bring Ben back to the Light; no matter how hard it will be and how long it will take.

"Are you?" he said, clenching his fists. "Tell me Rey, are you aware people here are expecting you to kill the Supreme Leader if you're ever face to face with him?"

Rey felt her chest tightening at his words. If that was to happen, she wouldn't have the strength to do it. Killing him would mean losing a part of her soul. She loved him heartily, intensely, fully. Still, she couldn't help but thinking about the probability of him never going back to the Light. If the Darkness consumed him and the life of her friends were threatened. A cornelian choice. Saving her family or killing her potential future family. Maz's words echoed in her head.

"_The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead"_

Was she talking about Ben at that moment? She haven't met Ben back then and didn't know him yet. Or did she? Sometimes, when she was young and felt alone, she could hear a faint whispers late at night telling her everything will be alright. She thought at that moment it was the result of dehydration but what if it was him? What if that connection started a long ago? What if their fates were intertwined?

"I trusted you. Kriff you're the first one I…." his voice was trembling.

His back was still facing her but the emotion in his voice was enough to indicate his eyes were likely filled with tears as hers were.

"We have a meeting to attend" he coldly said.

"I'm coming"

The two walked back to the camp and entered the tent in which the meeting was held. Though the others barely noticed her puffy eyes, the General kept staring at her with concern.

Poe sat at the table and so did she.

"General, we have found a potential ally on Anaxes. Their Commander is of the new generation of people and is willing to listen to us. They've got the military force we need, they have technologies that could help us in defeating the First Order."

"And what does this man ask for in exchange Commander? In case you haven't noticed, we haven't much to offer" the old woman said.

"I've studied the guy. He'll like the prestige of being a savior to everyone that have suffered from the First Order regime. He's got a lot of ego, we can work on that!"

She pondered the information for a second then looked back at Poe.

"Well, I guess it's worth the try. Take Rey with you and meet with them"

He looked at Rey coldly.

"Roger" Poe said as he left the tent.

Leia was heading towards Rey but got caught by a person to discuss on strategy matters. Rey took the opportunity to flee and go back to the Falcon. As she reached the boarding ramp, Poe called her out.

"We're leaving early tomorrow. I'll meet you at 0600"

"Alright" she said with an almost inaudible sigh.


	16. Chapter 16: Negociations

**Chapter 16: Negociations**

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**Author's note: **Hello everyone! Sorry for the late upload. Been abroad for 2 months in january/february then Coronavirus happened! The bright side is that I have more time to write now! I hope you guys are staying safe! Take care of you!

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The dawn came sooner than she wished, painting the sky in vibrant colors as she lowered the Falcon ramp. Poe was already here and his face was still space cold. He didn't even bother to look at her as he boarded the ship. She wouldn't have heard him mumble a "hi" under his breath if she hadn't paid attention. Once the coordinates were set, Han's ship took off and headed towards its destination.

Soon the amethyst lands were visible from the cockpit and they initiated their descent through the atmosphere. Lots of diplomats were there when they landed. The building was huge and magnificent. It was imposing; surely to low-key demonstrate their attack forces.

A mirialan female got closer to them.

" General Dameron I presume?"

"Indeed"

"Please follow me" she said, bowing to both of them.

They passed through the gigantic entrance door and through several corridors before arriving in the meeting room. Few people were already there, who , judging by the jewellry around their necks were members of the Anaxes council. At the end of the table, a young man was sat and smiled at them as the approached. She could feel that Poe was getting agitated.

"Commander?"

" Himself mister Dameron"

"I expected your father to be….hum…."

" Here?" he asked raising an eyebrow "A lot do yes. I've succeeded to my father few months ago. I hope that is not a problem for our negotiations"

"Not at all Commander"

" Please have a seat. We are still waiting for another client who would soon arrive."

Poe and Rey sat next to each other.

" Another client? I thought the negotiations were only involving the Resistance"the young pilot asked.

"That was my father's way of negotiating, now this is mine. I want to see what you and our other client can offer"

Poe leaned towards Rey.

"This is gonna be a problem. It wasn't part of the deal" he whispered to her, worried.

The door opened again and Rey's face went livid. A dark and tall figure entered the room and Poe's fists threatened to break the holopad he was holding.

"Ha! Kylo Ren! Welcome to Anaxes! Please have a seat so we can start" the Commander said.

" Commander Hering" The tall man said ,cordially saluting him.

Ben looked at Rey, visibly as shocked to see her here as she was to see him. Even though the ceiling was high, his stature was imposing in the room.

He slowly walked and sat in front of her, the available seat while making sure to keep his eyes on her. Rey gulped and she felt her inside churn as the two hazel pools fell on her. He was going to make her blush. It felt like he did not even try to hide his thoughts and his desire perspired through the bond, creating an awakening in her lower abdomen. She took a deep breath to distract herself and was about to break the heavy silence but Hering beat her to it.

"What a wonderful picture don't you think? The last Jedi and the Jedi killer face to face" Hering said with trepidation as he walked towards Rey.

Poe tried as much as he could to shrug the comment off. The Commander was provoking people, as usual. However that was nothing compared to when the latter placed himself on Rey's side, slowly bowing to her.

" Miss Rey, is it?" Hering inquired.

"Huh ….yes" she responded, unsure of how to react.

" I must say you are a real work of art. A really exquisite lady" he said as he placed a kiss on the top of her hand. "Where did you find this diamond Dameron?"

"I'm from Jakku and I'm not some kind of object that Commander Dameron _found _. I joined his cause and _I _found him." she said, her face twisting in disgust.

"So feral. I love women with character!"

At that moment, she felt Darkness in the Force growing in the air and she knew where it originated. Across the table, Ben's eyes were sending daggers to Hering. She withdrew her hand faster than hyperspace.

"Commander, would you please show us what this potential deal is about?" Ben said curtly.

"Of course, of course" he said, going back to his seat and starting the holo projector.

The Commander spent one hour to go through the different classes of ships and weapons, providing their certifications and explaining how they could be combined together for the improvement of attacks. At the end of the presentation, he granted a break to everyone before starting the negotiations. Rey took this opportunity to go to the bathroom and as soon as she left the room, Poe looked at Ben. The tension between the two men was palpable.

"I need to talk to you" he said sternly. "In private"

Ben frown and get up to follow him in a corridor he deemed desert enough. Poe checked left and right that they were alone before speaking.

" Listen to me, you're gonna stop whatever this is between you and her. " he said in a menacing tone.

"What's happening Dameron? You're angry because for once a girl chose me instead of you? Are we back to being teenagers?"

Poe laughed sarcastically.

" You think she loves you? Poor thing, you're delusional, that's just pity she feels for you ! What makes you think she'd love a monster like you, huh? How could someone so pure be with an evil being! Someone who did not hesitate killing his own father and almost killed his mother t-"

Before he could finish his sentence Ben grabbed his shirt and pushed his body against the wall violently.

"How dare y-"

"Get the hell away from her!" Poe barked at him. "Or else…"

"Or else you'll what? Kill me? With the little of soldiers you've got left in your precious Resistance?" Ben said with half a smile.

However, when Poe smiled back, something in his eyes gave him shivers.

"You know, unlike you, we don't have much to offer to Hering but we have an extremely valuable asset…."

Ben's grip loosened as he puts together the puzzle pieces of Poe's intentions.

"I heard Hering was looking for a wife, it's the third one if I'm not mistaken and we both know how he loves prestige. Wouldn't marrying the Last Jedi be prestigious?"

"You wouldn't….she will never accept this" Ben snarled.

"You think? I think our little Jedi is quite devoted to her cause and to save her friends and family. We both know that, don't we _Ben_? She calls you like that, right?" a smile tugging at his lips.

"You know Hering just like I do, you know despite what he says, his previous wives died in strange circumstances and you know he's violent. How can you do such a thing?". Ben anger rose at every word.

" Won't our little Jedi be pretty parading with Hering? Also I heard he's quite a beast in the bedroom from what peop-"

Ben threw his hand at him and Poe grabbed his throat instinctively, gasping for air.

"You son of a b-" he started, voice filled with rage as a noise stopped him.

Both heard footsteps echoing in the corridor and Rey appeared in the distance. Ben let go of his Force choke as she ran towards them.

"Why did you ….stop? Don't you want her….. to see the monster you….. are? Tss pathetic!" he said between coughs.

Poe turned to Ben before Rey could be in hearing range.

" Distance yourself from her, subtly. I don't want her tainted with your Darkness. If you tell her anything about our discussion or you try to get that deal, I'll make sure she's wedded to Hering to win the fleet back and be sure that if I can't have her, you won't either" Poe threatened Ben.

Rey reached them and Ben couldn't help but noticing the concern in her eyes.

"What happened? Why are you both here?"

Poe grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to follow him but not without her giving one last look at Ben. There was something in his eyes she couldn't decipher and that got her worried.

"I was just telling him we'll crush his precious First Order"

Ben stood in the empty corridor, head down and fists clenched. That rivalry will never stop, not until that kriffing pilot dies. However, he knew killing him wouldn't be an option, because it would mean losing her. His mother would never forgive him either. He paused for a second. Since when did he care for what his mother thinks? Has he already changed that much at her contact? Making him alive again….human. Words replayed in his head relentlessly.

"_**What makes you think she'd love a monster like you, huh?"**_

What if that was indeed pity she felt for him? That would be humiliating and not something he would tolerate but he might have a point. She was so full of Light, pure, kind and she doesn't even know a sixth of the terrible things he has done.

Problems were stacking up and it was a real hassle to try to manage all of them. Hering was offering a significant asset but there was no way he could ever let Rey falling between his claws. No matter how much he disliked it, his hands were tied. He thought he could tell her about Poe but what if she didn't believe him? What if she would confront him about it, getting him into a rage and sent her to exile? She would be broken, more than she already was and he knew it. Distancing himself from her would be hard; especially after all that they have been through, but he had to try…..at least for her sake.

When he got back to the meeting room. He could feel Rey's stare lingering on him and Force it was hard not to look at her. Waves of concern flowed through the bond but he forced himself to look at Hering.

"Well, since everybody is back, we shall start the negotiations"

Ben stood up.

" Commander Hering, I'm afraid right now our artillery units are still in production for what I assume you're thinking of getting. So I decline the offer. Will you please excuse me, I'll leave you now." he said as he left the room faster than hyperspace.

Hering turned to both Poe and Rey, eyes as wide as saucers.

" Well….that was strange to say the least" he said. "Hum….Commander Dameron, there is no need for you to stay here if you are busy, we can discuss this matter on hologram"

He walked close to Rey, too close to her liking, and grabbed her hand to lay a kiss on it.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Miss Rey. I hope I'll see you again."

"The pleasure was mine" she said.

There was something off about that man. She didn't feel like he was someone she could trust but she couldn't tell why. It was a feeling; like always.

They left the building and got back on the Falcon. Poe didn't say a word and it seemed like he did not want to engage a conversation about what happened earlier. He set the coordinates to go back to the base. As the Falcon went to hyperspace, she finally broke the silence.

"Are you going to talk about what happened earlier?"

"What do you mean?" he said.

" You know what I mean. What happened between you and B- Kylo?"

"You don't have to pretend in front of me. I know you call him Ben" Poe answered without hiding his disgust. "There are tactful ways to break up with someone you know"

"Poe, I told you I'm sorry, I was planning to talk to you about it. I didn't know how to say it in a way that would hurt you the less. I didn't mean to feel that way; it just happened and believe me that would make things way easier if he wasn't our enemy. You know you can't control feelings"

" I have trouble understanding how you can pass through all the terrible things he's done" he said, disgust tainting his voice.

"I'm not forgetting all he has done but you have to understand that he was manipulated. I saw inside his mind. I know he can turn back to the Light. This could be how we win"

"You can see what's in his mind?" he said with a hint of curiosity.

" I can, but not everything"

" That means you could spy on him"

He looked straight at her. Waiting for her response as if to gauge her loyalty to the Resistance. However, there was enough lying and she was willing answer him up front.

"I could but won't" she said, trying her best not to look offended.

"Why not?"

"I can't do that to him. There was enough betrayal in his life, adding more would make him fall even more in the Darkness."

"Yeah…._poor thing_, right?"

His sarcastic tone resonated in the cockpit and it took her a sharp inhale to keep her calm. She wished she could tell Poe who Ben Solo was but a part of her was afraid to share that private part of his life. He would not want it, especially knowing how much they despise each other.

" You don't know him" she said as her head shifted and eyebrows furrowed.

There was a long pause before Poe spoke again. He stood up and placed both of his hands on her side of the chair, closing the distance between their faces. There was something in his voice that felt fragile and hurt at the same time.

" When I ask you to be my girlfriend, did you love him?"

Rey's lips parted.

"I...I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what I felt for him was like that."

A sarcastic laugh filled the atmosphere.

"You didn't know?" Poe asked. "How can you possibly not know?"

"Unlike you I spend my whole childhood and teenage years on Jakku. I was all alone, I barely had social interactions with people!". Tears threatened to pour as she spoke. "Do you seriously think I planned having feeling for an enemy of the Resistance? Do you think I wanted to be in that whole mess?"

She moved him aside to go back to her quarters but Poe gently grabbed her arm to stop her. She was expecting him to yell at her, to be angry but she was not prepared to what came next. He slowly pushed her against the wall and his lips met hers in a passionate and desperate kiss.


	17. Chapter 17: Kiusatus

**Chapter 17: Kiusatus**

Rey felt as if she feet were stuck on the ground. She wanted to speak but he did it before her.

"I love you Rey" he said between kisses, each more passionate than the previous one. "I can give you…..everything you want…...I can give you a family…..so please…..don't choose him….choose me"

Rey placed her hands on his chest and slightly pushed him; catching her breath. His hands lowered on her waist. His grip was tender but firm nonetheless.

"I wish it was that easy, believe me" she said exhaling.

Force she wished it was. Poe was the easiest choice, the safest choice, the rational choice, the choice everyone would expect her to make. She remembered Ben's words about how the Hope of the Resistance and the Resistance hotshot flyboy would look good on picture. She could already see how all the Resistance allies would romanticize their relationship and possibly use it for propaganda.

"It is easy" he said as he moved forward to lay kisses on her neck. "I will help you to forget him….in every way possible ….you can let go". His hand softly caressed her breast and descended to her stomach.

With each touch of his lips on her, she felt the Darkness enveloping her as a moan escaped her lips. Voices resonated in her head, clouding her mind.

**Yield...your body wants it….you want all of this….you want a family….safety...**

"_**Rey" **_said another voice. She recognized this voice….it was the same voice she heard in her vision in Maz's castle. A soothing one.

It pulled her out of the Darkness and she moved away from Poe.

"I'm sorry, I can't". Her resolve was so natural that it saddened him.

He placed his hands under her elbows, gently.

"You could" he said, eyes not leaving hers.

"I don't know how to explain it but….Ben is….he completes me….he's like my other half. I know it sounds crazy-"

"-It's not…." a glimpse of hope awoke in her eyes. Maybe Poe was finally accepting her feelings.

"...because I feel the same way about you" he said with a seriousness that almost made her flinch.

She stepped backwards and almost stumbled on a toolbox. Metallic sounds surrounded the space as Poe sat back on the pilot seat to check the instrument panel.

"I don't know what kind of Force thing you two have…..but I will not give up on you"

Rey stood there for a while before heading back to her quarters, leaving Poe alone in the cockpit.

She slowly removed her boots as she made a long exhale. Lying on her bed, her mind wandered to Ben and she felt as if every fiber of her being missed him. She tried to reach him through the Force but she felt some kind of resistance from his side.

"Rey I think we should stop ….all of this" he told her through the Bond.

Her heart constricted.

"Ben….what happened?Why are you saying this? "

"Nothing happened….yet. If the First Order happened to know about us…."

Ben was pacing in his quarters. His anxiety reached peak levels remembering how the pilot caught them. If that guy told the entire Resistance, not only Rey but his own reign would be at risk and Force knows Hux would gladly take his place and burn the whole Resistance into ashes. Somehow he had to put some distance between him and Rey because the more the bond was growing, the more everything he has built would be jeopardized. He prepared himself a lothal Spicebrew then sat on his bed.

"They wouldn't. We could-"

"Rey, one of your guys saw us. What if that happened in the middle of a First Order meeting? What if the Bond gets stronger? We cannot keep doing this."

"Poe is not stupid, he won't tell that their beacon of Hope is casually talking to their enemy. Ben….I….I need to see you"

Silence, and nothing from his side of the bond.

"Fine, ignore me" she said out loud, with no answer from the other end.

Rey looked at her closet, frowning. It was completely absurd for Ben to think that way. There would be a way they could see each other but he was so stubborn, he would not listen, he would not try. She knew he wanted to see her just as much as she wanted to see him and he wouldn't admit it but she was smarter and she was going to show him.

About an hour later, Ben was still on his bed, reviewing boring reports on his datapad when he felt the Force tingling around him. He exhaled loudly bracing himself. Rey appeared in front of him, kneeled on the floor seemingly trying to remove her boots.

"Oh" she said. " Hi"

"Hi" he said, eyes not leaving the datapad.

"I was about to go to sleep, since my bed is where yours is ,do you mind if I…." she said pointing at the bed he was on.

Ben swallowed hard, wondering what on the Force was on her mind. His eyes went back on his datapad in a desperate and forced attempt to focus.

"Whatever, I have reports to read"

Rey frowned at his lack of attention and interest. If she had to be bolder to have some kind of reaction then so be it! She turned her back to him and slowly unbuckled her belt to let if fall on the ground.

The metallic sound resonated in the room, causing Ben to stare at her as she continued to undress.

"W-What are you doing?" he asked as she removed her arm wraps.

Rey didn't turn back and smiled when she heard the tremor in his voice.

"Getting ready for bed. I can't sleep with my boots on, can I?" she answered nonchalantly.

Rey languidly slide her drapes off her shoulders, letting them fell on the ground.

Ben could swear her moves were slow and seductive and couldn't help thinking that might be a trick of his own mind dwelling in his she removed what was left of her clothes except her underwear, Ben's breath was heavier on the exhale and his pupils were dilated so much that his eyes became black pools. The dim light highlighted her features and his eyes followed the curve of her back to the fabric which just covered her buttcheeks.

White. Of course they were white. Everything in her was so pure; just like the Light that surrounded her whole being.

" _Force help me" _he thought.

When Rey turned around, he immediately looked back at his datapad, trying to have some composure back. He felt a lump in his throat as she moved closer and leaned in to see the screen in his hands, thus offering him a view on her breasts that were covered by her breast band. She was like a forbidden fruit.

"What are you reading? Not quite entertaining judging by your face. Kinda boring even."

"_Kriff! Of course, considering the big distraction in front of me…."_ he thought.

"It's an inventory of blasters. I …." he gulped, trying not to stare at the glorious sight in front of his eyes " It's boring but part of the job"

As his eyes laid on her breast again, he noticed the perky nipples through the fabric and it is all that it took for him to start to get fully hard. Her breast grazed his forearm and his mind went blank. He took a deep breath, being grateful of the thick duvet covering his lower region that was now rock hard.

"_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck" _he thought to himself.

"Well, I'll let you at your boring job" She moved her mouth near his ear, slightly grazing his cheek with her lips. "Goodnight Supreme Leader"

Her sensual voice almost made him come. He cursed at his traitorous body for reacting like an hormonal teenager's. That woman was going to be the death of him. After a deep breath, he turned off the datapad and drag the duvet on his shoulder, positioning himself to sleep.

"I think I'll just sleep. Goodnight." he said, fighting with all he had to calm the burning fire raging in his body.

Rey poured herself a glass of water that she drank then slided under the blanket, facing his back. She kept staring at his black shirt, wondering what was inside his head at that moment and she could not help but feeling cold. Not literally. She missed his warmth, his arms, his hands.

"Ben"

"Hm?"

"Do….do you mind hugging me?"

That felt more sillier than she expected. She sounded like a spoiled child.

"I do". His answer was colder than she has expected.

"I'm sorry. It's….I used to sleep all alone in my AT-AT. I was just wondering what it felt like"

Her tone made him flinch and the sorrow hits his heart in resonance of hers.

"_What the...Really?"_ he thought, sighing.

"Okay, just for tonight but just….just give me a moment" Ben said focusing on his breath.

"_I should really learn to say no to her sometimes" _he said to himself.

"A moment?Why do y-"

"Just . don't . ask…..please"

"Okay"

Ben tried to focus on something that would, he hoped,made his member turn back to normal. He pictured Hux. Hux making out with his mother. It was disgusting, nauseating even, but it worked. He slowly turned back to face her and watched her as she shifted to place herself next to him; her back close to his torso. The Knight of Ren let a safe distance so she wouldn't feel an unfortunate body reaction from him. He placed his hand on her shoulder to keep it as chaste as possible. The only contact was his forearm on her bicep.

Rey didn't move. She could feel his nervousness as it echoed her own but surprisingly she found herself wanting more. More of his touch. More of him. When she felt his breath against her neck, she shivered. The warmth breath stimulated all her nerves and the electricity slowly primed its descent to the small of her back, triggering a pool of heat in her lower abdomen. She exhaled, not even conscious that she held her breath. She wondered if he was already asleep.

"I am not" he said.

"Hey what did I told you about prying!"

"You asked it so loud, it felt it came out of your mouth"

She pouted and even if Ben couldn't see her face, he could hear it in her tone. He let out a small chuckle.

" Stop mocking me and hug me"

"I _am_ hugging you"

"You call that a hug? Surely you can do better than that. You could hug Hux with more love than that"

He sighed and his exasperation was palpable.

" What I told you earlier today still stands. We need to maintain some distance. You're not helping here"

" Finn's hugs are better than that"

She felt his temper flaring. Jealousy, his weakness. That wasn't fair play but well, for once he could listen to his heart. She felt him starting to remove his hand.

"Hey, I'm kidding! It's not like when you do it" she said, smiling.

Ben relaxed, his breathing going back to normal. The Force hummed around them as the sexual tension flooded the room. There was just the sound of their breaths.

"Ben" she whispered with a tone he barely heard from her; like a prayer.

Her hand grabbed his and placed it just below her right breast. His breathing stopped at that moment and she shifted closer as if wanting to melt her body into his. Her butt squirmed against his groin as she adjusted herself and Ben swore he saw stars.

"Stop wriggling like this against me" he said as if he was in pain.

"I'm sorry did I hurt you?"

"Damnit Rey. I...I'm a man for Force's sake" he said, annoyed.

Rey's eyes widened as she became aware of the stiffening against her bottom. She smiled realizing the effect she had on him. It was pleasant and pride flowed through her along with desire.

"Oh!...I'm sorry. I won't move" she said, trying to hide a chuckle, in vain.

"You don't seem sorry at all" sighed a smiling defeated Ben.

They stood still in silence for a few minutes. Desire was building in both of them.

Rey could feel the warmth of his fingers close to her breast on her bare skin and oh how those hands were huge compared to her chest. Against her neck, she felt his breath was steady but she knew that he wasn't asleep.

Ben tried to empty his head as his desire still consumed him. He could feel the Darkness emanating from it like claws grabbing his whole body. The heat radiated from her and nestled in his whole being. Each attempt of him to control those impulses through breathing ended in failure since he couldn't erase the fact that the creature of his fantasies was next to him, half-naked.

Rey tentatively squirmed slightly against his groin causing his erection to become even harder.

"Rey, if you keep on-"

Her hand between his thighs stopped him mid-sentence and he let out an involuntary groan. She slid her finger on his length then moved slowly back and forth. He was rock hard under her touch and somehow, Rey as never felt more of a woman than at this moment. She, who was a desert scavenger, who was always covered in dust or grease, felt feminine under his eyes, under his touch. The nobody having that kind of power over the Supreme Leader...it was unbelievable.

A memory crossed her mind. She was fourteen, walking with her scavenged part among the people of Niima Outpost when she heard a young lady dressed in a beautiful purple dress. The woman was doing a stop for fuel and was talking to three girls who wasn't older than herself. She was telling stories about women warriors and diplomatic representatives. There was one thing she remembered clearly. A sentence. " A woman can bring kingdom to her knees either through a man or by herself".

She guided his hand on her breast and he felt her nipple pebbling as his trembling finger grazed it.

None realized in the dimness of the room that their eyes were showing golden hues.

"Ben" she whispered, begging for more "I want you to touch me. Shall the Darkness consume us I don't care"


	18. Chapter 18: Ochre

**Chapter 18: Ochre**

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**Author's note:** Hello my dear readers! Hope you are well and safe during that lockdown( for those who are in lockdown and the others too)! I've waited for a long time to write this explicit chapter and needless to say that was exciting! I really hope you like it! Do not hesitate leaving reviews if you enjoyed it! Love you guys 3 3. Next chapter is in progress and I hope you'll like it too because I'm thrilled!

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His senses sharpened and her words was all it took to bend his will. Then his whole body surrendered under her touch. Her hand wandered around his torso, his neck and his hair. So many times he dreamt of her touching him but having her doing it for real felt millions times better. Ben's own lust merged with Rey's through the bond.

He grabbed her breast with more confidence this time, his lips grazing her neck, causing her to gasp with each kisses he laid there. His finger played with her nipple gently, the latter hardening more and more with each stroke. A loud moan escaped her lips. Her hand flew to her mouth to muffle it but Ben stopped her.

"You can make any noise you want, no one will hear you, my quarters are very well soundproofed" he said as he nibbled her earlobe.

He moved on top of her and slightly brighten the lights of the room using the panel control over the headboard.

"I'd like to see you". It was more a request than an order. "Completely"

Rey's cheeks turned pink and she nodded. There was an attempt for her to look away but Ben hands gently turned her chin back so she could look at him in the eyes. He removed his shirt and pants, only keeping his black underwear. Seeing his broad naked chest on Ahch-To was flustering, but having it hovering over her was quite impressive. There was not a single inch of unnecessary skin; it felt like he was carved out of marble.

"It's only fair that you have something to look at too right?" he said, lips drawing a smile.

Her trembling hand slowly removed her breast band and panties and Ben straightened himself on his knees to have a better view of the delicacy in front of him. His eyes explored her body and each freckle of her sun-kissed skin left him in awe. The scars scattered on her body took nothing away of her beauty. She was a strong woman and that was how she loved her.

Rey has always felt insecure about her body. She wasn't the archetype of what other would call "feminine" but growing up in Jakku meant she had to do a lot of physical labour in order to survive all these years at the expense of her body. She found her breast too small, her body too athletic and hardly ever thought a man would find her physical assets attractive in any way.

Ben was still looking at her with parted lips, as if he was frozen, and she became aware of her body. Her forearm moved to cover her breast but Ben's hand was faster removing it.

"No" he said, his eyes piercing through her soul.

"Rey...you...you are the most beautiful woman I have ever been given to lay my eyes on". Her heart stopped.

"I don't deserve that praise" she said, eyes lowering. "I can see that my body is not-"

"Rey, look at me" his voice was like a sweet caress.

Her eyes plunged back into his. There was a lump in her throat. The last thing she wanted after finally having Ben by her side was to disappoint him. He could have any woman in the universe if he wanted. So why her? A desert rat. She was nothing.

"Don't ever think of that again. I should have never said that back then. In no way is this even remotely true" he interjected as he followed her thoughts.

"I can't lie to you, you can search in my mind if you need but believe me when I tell you that I've roamed the whole galaxy for many years and nothing compares to the beauty I have in front of my eyes" he told her as he kissed her wrist.

She did not need mind reading at that moment; his eyes told it all. They were marveling as they roamed her pristine body. His ego intensified realizing he was the first to touch her that way, like a pioneer discovering a new territory; and oh how this land was appealing. He did not know if was lost in his lust because he swore her skin shone under the light like dew on Naboo's grass field at dawn. There were no words to describe how perfect she was. His finger slightly shuddered, eager for making contact with her velvety skin. Then, his eyes went back to her face and to his surprise, her iris color changed.

"Your eyes, they ar-" he said in a whisper.

"Golden? Yours too" she said in an equal softness.

"What do you think it means Ben?"

" Usually that occurs with people using the Dark Side but….it's more yellow than golden. Do you feel different?"

"I don't think so. I...I just want you" she said, grazing his cheeks with her fingers.

He placed himself on her side and gently massaged her breast as his lips met hers. Rey moaned against his mouth as their tongues danced together in a lavish way, discovering new feelings with each touch. His strokes were sweet, slow but nonetheless hungry. Then, he let go of the last piece of fabric separating their naked bodies from each other. Rey felt his hardness pressed against her thigh and heat coursed her body to settle in her lower parts. She could feel how wet she was but hearing it as Ben placed a finger at her entrance felt obscene.

"You're already so wet"

Rey wanted to hide in a whole far away. Heat inflamed her whole face. Ben tentatively moved his finger up and down, causing a moan from her. Her fingers stopped his hand.

"I don't know how much time the bond will allow us. Please….I….I want you…"

"Your wish is my command" he said, pleased but nonetheless surprised to see how decisive she was.

Ben placed himself above Rey making sure not to crush her and placed his cock between her thighs, grinding against her wetness.

He then grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Are you sure? There is no coming back from it"

"I know. I want this Ben….I want you"

Those words rang like a divine melody to his ears. He struggled to ease the flame of the desire so as not to scare her. She needed gentleness. She needed Ben for their first time together. He positioned himself and she braced herself when she felt the tip of his length teasing her entrance.

"This might hurt, I'm sorry" he said, laying a kiss on her forehead.

"I know. It's okay"

He cautiously slid further, causing her to wince with the sharp pain. The young man stopped, making sure she was okay and relaxed when she smiled.

Finally.

Purpose. Belonging. Oneness. Love.

The Force hummed around them as if it craved for ages that moment. For the first time of their lives, Rey and Ben felt whole and cherished.

They stay like this for a moment, Ben captured her lips softly and plunged his eyes into hers. Force, he was madly in love with her. She would know that, wouldn't she? He remembered his words on the Supremacy."You're nothing, but not to me". He should rephrase it, make her understand how much she means to him. His reluctance lied in the fact that a part of him did not want to show his weakness, how desperate he was because he loved her more than anything. What about the reciprocity of his feelings? What if she did not feel the same way? Living a life without her would be pointless, empty, meaningless. It would become a desolated hell, just like before he met her. He did not want to even think about the kind of life he would have, knowing the bliss he was feeling right now would not be within reach anymore. His heart rate skyrocketed.

His hand brushed her cheeks but she could feel his anxiety but resolve at the same time.

" Rey…." his shaking voice felt different, was a side of him she was not used to, but found herself wanting to see more.

Somehow, deep inside, she knew what was coming because of their connection. He crushed down his mental barriers, eyes not leaving hers; reaching her soul. He was about to pour his heart and she forgot how to breath.

" Rey….You're everything to me. I...I love you." he finally said, lips trembling.

Though she heard those words from Poe, hearing them coming out of Ben's mouth was a totally different experience. It felt real, true. It rumbled everything within her heart, so much she hold her breath. Nothing prepared her to the impact of his confession on her. How could those three little words filled the void of the loneliness of all these years?

**"The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead."** Maz words echoed in her mind.**"Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku... they're never coming back... but... there's someone who still could"**

The realization hit her. She has been in denial her entire life, waiting for people who would never return. There was always this kind of weird this presence with her when she grew up, a comforting presence that made her feel that she was not alone. She thought it might be one of her parents but now she knew it wasn't either of them. The faceless person appearing in her childhood dreams….it was him…. it has always been him.

Tears trailed down her temples and concern took possession of Ben.

He didn't meant to make her cry, let alone in the middle of such an important moment for both of them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad"

"I'm not crying because I'm sad Ben, I'm crying because..." she sniffed "...because I'm happy"

She felt his relief through the bond when he cupped her face and his thumb grazed her cheek.

Rey took a deep breath, hoping to soon get accustomed to his large girth while Ben tentatively moved back and forth a few times slowly. It took him a lot of efforts to focus because this felt like nothing he ever felt before. The simple fact of moving while being inside her was melting his whole body and he was pretty sure his legs would be too weak to stand.

"_Fuck...she's so tight"_

After few thrusts, Rey's initial pain slowly morphed into pleasure. The Scavenger let out a moan as she relaxed and welcomed the new sensations. She wondered what he would think of her doing such lewd noises. Red flames of embarrassment crept in her cheeks but her doubt didn't last. Darkness took possession of her whole body, pleasure increasing little by little. Her legs instinctively circled around his waist, making his length go deeper inside her. She moved against him, incrementing the speed of the thrusts.

Ben gasped. The feeling of her, her moans, her short breath by his ear, her body clinging on his...it was overwhelming…it was too much….way too much and it felt a bit too good...a bit too fast….

"R-Rey….stop...it's- ah"

But it was too late and he withdrew from her, thick white ropes landing on her stomach.

"Fuck". It was all he could say as his hand hid his face in shame.

He inhaled deeply.

"I'm….I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be that….fast. I wanted….kriff"

Rey cupped his face and looked at him with love.

"Hey...what are you apologizing for? It was perfect to me. It felt good" she said, with a sincerity that perspired through the bond.

He was mad at himself. His intent here was to give her pleasure, worship her body, take her until she screamed his name and not to come that fast like a hormonal teenager, no matter how heavenly being inside her felt. She deserved more and that is what he was about to give to her. This was not over yet and he did not want to lose what was left of the time the bond allowed them to be together.

She dipped her finger in the white substance over her stomach, examined it and put it in her mouth to taste it.

_"Fuck…. do she even know how much that is hot…."_ he thought to himself, eyes mesmerized by her gesture and mouth agape.

How could every single thing she did made him feel that way? That was what he wondered about as he wiped the cum off her stomach with his undergarment.

Rey looked at Ben as the latter resumed touching her gently, probably too gently to her taste; just as if he was afraid he would break her. The young girl wanted more, she wanted him to devour her completely and she realized at that moment that she wanted Ben but also wanted…

The man froze, following the trail of her loud thoughts.

"Kylo" he said, half of him being shocked and the other surprised. That is when his flaccid cock came back to life.


	19. Chapter 19-Valta-asema

**Chapter 19: Valta-asema**

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Author's note: Hello everyone! Chapter 19 is here! If you don't like smut, you might as well skip this one heheheheh ;). Hope you like it! Enjoy!

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Her cheeks was tainted in the deepest shades of red. She tried to shield her thoughts but her embarrassment thwarted her attempts. Everything came back to her , the interrogation room, the restraints, his face revelation, the twisting feeling in her abdomen when she felt his breath against her neck….

Anxiety seized her but Ben didn't noticed it, too sunken in his lust that kept growing again.

So that was what she was fantasizing about….since the beginning…..

When he met her, he felt something he never felt before. Something that went beyond curiosity; something extremely tantalizing.

He thought he was the only one feeling this way, but now, knowing this awakened a primal and possessive urge deep inside his body. She ventured to look at him in the eyes, only to find no more colors, no more gold, only dark black orbs gazing at her. There was no Ben right now. Those eyes; those were Kylo's.

His hand grazed her breast again but this time, he slightly pinched her perky nipple between his thumb and index finger, eliciting a gasp from her. In the meantime, his lips met the skin of her neck, nibbling gently.

" You like that, do you _Scavenger_?"

An involuntary moan escaped her mouth at the mention of her old epithet and Darkness filled both of their bodies. Being Kylo allows for more self-confidence and he took advantage of it entirely. When he saw Rey's hand trying to wander south toward his cock, he grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them above her head.

"You don't get to dictate things here my little rebel, I'm in charge" his raw and deep voice send shivers to her core. She liked it more than she dared to admit.

His mouth teased her breasts , causing her to squirm and press her thighs together.

"So needy…" his deep voice said, sucking on her nipple while his hand wandered south, meeting chestnut curls.

His finger slightly brushed her bud on their way to her opening, eliciting a shake of her whole body.

"So wet…." he said, pleased. "Tell me….were you that wet when you were strapped on that chair?"

Heat rose to her cheeks. Of course she was. That was the effect he had on her.

He teased her entrance with his finger and Rey couldn't help but moan. She knew he was enjoying every single bit of it. Then she groaned as he stopped.

"Please". It came out of her mouth barely audible and Kylo smirked.

"Answer me" he said firmly.

"Y-yes"

Kylo smiled as Rey's lustful eyes roamed around his torso. All those years of training was worth that hungry stares she was giving him. Her blushed cheeks and the way she was flustered while looking at his body was a real treat.

"Perfect. Now your reward for being an obedient girl"

He allowed two fingers to thrust inside her.

"Fuck!" she said, louder than she expected as her cunt jerked against his palm.

"We'll get to that soon enough Scavenger" he said with a smug tone.

His fingers felt nothing like hers. They were longer, thicker but most importantly, there were two of them inside of her. The noise his thrusts made indicated the level of her dampness down there and that got her a bit flustered. She never thought her body could react like that or this much. That was before him.

The Knight of Ren removed his coated fingers and she watched him as he lick them, bringing out a furious blush on her cheeks. She heard him mumbling "Exquisite" before resuming his ministrations in her holy temple.

When his finger found her pleasure center, she let out a gasp.

Kylo closed his eyes and reached for the Force.

Small pulsating Force waves emanated from the tip of his fingers causing Rey's body to jerk violently against his hand.

" How do you- ah- kriff!" she said, writhing under his touch as pleasure hit her in waves.

"Mmmmh. The Dark Side is appealing isn't it sweetheart?" he whispered by his ear, triggering Force waves one after the other.

Kylo could feel the area hardening and swelling against his fingers as he stroked it repeatedly and noticed her breathing was more and more shallow. However, he wouldn't let his desert flower come without having a taste of her first. His mouth trailed down her stomach and lower until it reached her brown curls . Rey understood where he was going and she was about to protest in embarrassment but he silenced her. Her cunt was overflowing with fluids and the scent was tantalizing. His cushiony lips met the delicate skin of her her cunt, licking it hungrily. He knew how to please her and his tongue lingered in the upper area, teasing her pleasure bud while his fingers kept their moves inside her. Her breath started to be erratic. He could feel she was close.

"B-Ben...I….I'm….". She couldn't really talk and to be honest, she couldn't really think either at that point. Her whole mind went blank.

"No. _Say it_. Say my name"

"K-Kylo"

He increased the speed of his strokes inside her, feeling her closer to climax.

"Now come for me Scavenger" he said before sucking even harder on her sensitive bud.

Rey's head jerked backwards and her whole body shivered. It was a sweet delectation for Kylo who marveled at the sight of her flushed face and breast. Her inner walls clenching around his fingers and the feeling was such a turn on that his hard cock was ready to claim her again.

Rey caught her breath, still bathed in her climax haze. That felt nothing like when she touched herself. It was a whole new level of sensations and even after that, she still craved for his touch. Back in Jakku, she usually touched herself to get rid of this physical need and after her orgasm, her need was fulfilled. That was not the case here. She wanted more as if she would never have enough of him. Her eyes met his, he was still licking her slit fervently. As he straightened, she could see the glistening of her liquor on his mouth and chin and though the view was completely obscene, she found herself liking it, and fire streamed anew through her.

"Now _this_ is something the Jedi forbid, you know that Scavenger, do you?" he said, teasing her inside point with his fingers, leading her jolt a little.

She couldn't help but find his smug attitude attractive watching his lips drawing a satisfied smile. He was a natural, fierce, charming, dashing man.

Kylo stood up in front of the bed, gesturing her to come.

"Sit on the edge of the bed"

He watched her as she religiously complied. Rey's eyes were as wide as saucers facing his large cock few centimeters from her face and the hurricane of desire ravaged her lower abdomen. It was bigger than she thought; way much bigger. No wonder why it was painful earlier.

"Open your mouth"

As she did, his hand grabbed the back of her head and guided his cock in her mouth, back and forth. Rey was a quick learner and he soon let go, allowing himself a long moan. His eyes landed on her as she took again and again the length of his member. Licking his tip, savoring every inch of it. He could feel though the bond that she liked pleasuring him as much as he enjoyed the warmth and wetness of her mouth. He could watch that forever. His fantasy brought to life.

It felt good even though her mouth couldn't fit his size entirely so far. Kylo's boldness spiked and he decided to push his luck. His hand grabbed her hair, pushing her head as he jerked his waist forward.

Rey felt the tip of his cock hitting the upper part of her throat, causing a gag reflex. Saliva trickled from her mouth to her chin. It took her arousal to the next level as her gaze rose to met his, eyes tracing up his large frame. He kept her that way for few second then released her before doing it again. And again. And again.

Rey remembered what she saw on the holonet and decided to use her hand along with her mouth, on a faster pace but Kylo soon made her cease any action.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her very seriously.

She looked at him quizzically. Did she make a mistake? Was she doing something wrong? Unpleasant?

"We're not done yet"

" But I already…..I thought you wanted to feel good too"

He grabbed her chin and lowered his face at her level.

" We're not doing the same mistake as earlier. This time I will make you come with my cock and make you scream my name". She felt her inner walls clenching in anticipation at his words and her lips tremble from desire.

He moved her on the bed. Both were on their knees, his torso against her back and he kissed her neck hungrily. She could feel his long cock between her thigh, coating with her juices and creating an unnatural craving. Kylo felt her growing need as she writhe.

He positioned his cock to claim her. Then, he thrust hard and deep, while cupping her breast. This was entirely different, almost animalistic and her desire kept growing through the bond. Each thrust causing a moan from her, each louder than the previous one. His moves weren't fast, but sharp and deep. He was claiming her completely.

"This is what you saw in my book, isn't it" he said as he pounded her, hand on her throat.

Rey's hand was desperately looking for support and it then met his thigh. Her fingers dug in his flesh. To say she did not dream about having sex with him would be a lie. Ever since she met him, she could not help but feel that electricity in the air. She fell in love with Ben in that hut on Ahch-To, that was a fact and having sex with him was amazing but Kylo; Kylo was really something else. His tone only could drench her underwear.

"Fuck! ….Your pussy is so tight" he whispered, eyes half-closed as he surrendered to his pleasure.

After a while, he grabbed the back of her neck and lowered her down, face against the sheets and he let his other hand wandering near her pleasure bud, his finger circling around it.

The young woman could not believe how many lewd sounds came out of her mouth, in unison with the indecent melody of their flesh joining as he rammed her.

Her pleasure through the bond was like a combustible to Kylo's own fire. He could feel she was close. Her walls started to squeeze around his length, increasing tenfold his pleasure.

"Now come on my cock sweetheart"

Those words triggered the spark in her that ignited a blazing fire consuming her whole body.

"KYLO!" she screamed as climax reached her, magnifying her senses.

Rey could smell the musky notes of his scent, feel the warmth of his body against hers, his member filling her, his heart beating in tandem with her own .

Her ecstasy triggered his own climax and he buried his cock deep inside her as he came, grabbing her waist whole room trembled and all objects around went in levitation but none of them could see it, blinded by their own lust and pleasure.

Kylo, still panting, collapsed at her side and took her in his arms. There was that state of bliss that enveloped them completely and at that moment, nothing in the universe mattered anymore.

"That is definitely not the Jedi way" he said in a chuckle, his brain still infused with euphoria.

"I am no Jedi" she whispered; her head resting on his chest.

-o-

On board of a destroyer, Hux placed his hands on the meeting room table facing General Pryde.

" Is the NEBBOR project finalized?" Hux asked, his fingers reverberating his trepidation.

" Yes General Hux. We've tested it numerous times. It will work"

"And the serum?"

"At your disposal" General Pryde answered. Placing a white metal box in front of him.

"Perfect. Everything is going according to our plan. The Kylo Ren era will be soon over" he said, lips drawing a devilish smile.


	20. Chapter 20: Aljara'a

**Chapter 20: Aljara'a**

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**Author's note:** Sorry for the wait guys! I'm struggling to find the best road for the upcoming development and don't want to mess it up! I'm a perfectionnist and I hate it xD. Stay safe guys and take care of yourselves 3 !

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Rey's ear was against his torso, listening to his heartbeat like a lullaby. His hand was clutched in hers as if he was afraid she would run away. Her lips drew a smile. This night will be engraved in her memory forever. He had made his confession that night but she still haven't answered. She had to tell him. Ben should know how much he meant to her.

" Ben? " she whispered as her eyes met his.

"Mmm?"

Ben was still cloaked in a cocktail of bliss and solace. His heart and mind was at peace and that is something he hasn't felt for many years, as far as he remembered. If he didn't feel her body heat, he would swear that was all a dream and pray to never wake up. His nose grazed her hair and breathed in her delicate scent.

Her face was still flushed and her pulse raced thinking about what she was going to say.

" Ben, I-"

Then, emptiness. His body disappeared as fast as he appeared earlier in the evening.

No more warmth, just the cold air of her room and the neon lights on the ceiling over her bed.

Her fingers curled into a fist on her bed sheets.

"Kriff!" she snarled.

The following two weeks were excruciating. The bond didn't allow them together for a reason that escaped her. She felt like running in circles around the base. Doing the same maintenance stuff over and over. Her traitorous body ached for his touch every single night and left her frustrated, like an animal in heat. She felt embarrassed to have such primal urges and she had no one to talk to. The only thing she could do was touching herself thinking about him but it was never enough. Never.

While she was cleaning blasters, she heard about food supply twenty kilometers north of their base that was going to be shipped on the main Destroyer and sent back for durasteel exchange. She looked at the speeder laid against a tree in facing her body, lost in her thoughts. The young woman shook her head in hope of a semblance of realism. That was a stupid and dangerous idea. A crazy idea but so was loving the Supreme Leader, her sole enemy.

It took her a long while to get to the cargo area unnoticed and yet one hour later, she still wondered how on Jakku she ended up in that container on its way to the First Order main ship. It felt like her body was on auto-pilot. That wasn't rational. Not at all. She will have to lie to her friends again, for him, and she hated it. That wasn't how she imagined her friendship with Finn or Poe or Rose. Something in her chest tightened at the simple thought of their reaction if they knew. Would she be able to bear their distrustful gazes just like she did with Poe? Would they understand? Or would they turn away from her?

Love.

Love was stupid. Yet it was something she yearned for all her life.

There was a big shake indicating the freighter has arrived at docks and she felt him instantly through the Force. It was a sweet relief realizing she didn't came all this way for nothing. She waited patiently until the unloading was done. When she deemed the area safe to get out, she slipped out of her crate and started her wandering in the long corridors in hope to find the other part of her soul. She had to be careful though, as her chances of success in mind-tricking stormtroopers would decrease the more individuals there were.

-o-

Ben was heading to his conference room followed by his generals in his usual attire and mask when he felt her. What on Naboo was she doing here? He felt her closer and closer until he reached the door of the conference room.

"Kriffing girl!" he thought.

Ben had to make up something fast because if they discovered her, it would be a living hell for both of them. He paused in front of the door then turned to his generals, trying to act as natural as possible.

"Allow me a moment. I have a private call to make"

The generals nodded and he slid inside the room. The metallic sound of his helmet hitting the table echoed in the room. There was nowhere to hide, except below the table.

"Rey, get out of hiding place" he said with a sigh.

Small fingers appeared from under the table, then a flushed face followed by the rest of her body.

His fists clenched as he walk towards her.

"Are you out of your kriffing mind Rey?! This ship? Really? Do you want to die or what?"

She recoiled, offended.

"I'm happy to see you too". Her tone was caustic. She did not expect the warmest of welcomes considering the trouble she got herself into but that condescending tone was a bit much to her taste.

Ben couldn't believe she would put herself at risk just like that, without a second thought.

"How did you get in here? How will you get out? That's insane! What if someone sees you?" he said, pacing as his hand ran through his hair.

His anxiety was palpable through the bond so she raised her hand to his cheeks, boring her hazelnut eyes into his.

" Food crates got me here and you have a cargo leaving in two hours that will take me back. It's been two weeks and the Force hadn't connected us. I wanted to see you but I guess it wasn't mutual"

He closed the distance between them even more and cupped her face.

"I'm happy to see you but I'm scared for you too" he whispered; his lips met hers in a chaste kiss.

He looked at the door. The general were outside and the door was the only exit.

"I'm having a meeting right now in this room and the generals are waiting outside. Get under the table where I seat over there, the meeting should not last more than thirty minutes." he said, pointing at the far end of the table.

Rey hastily obliged, followed closely by Ben. She crouched under the table and Ben sat on his chair. Thankfully, though the under of the table was segmented with panels, there was enough room under there to fit both his long legs and Rey's tiny body. She heard a hiss indicating he put his helmet back on.

"Show off" she whispered, rolling her eyes.

"Mouth shut!" his modulated voice said, moving slightly backward to look at her.

The way he gave her orders, with his helmet on, aroused a fire in the lower part of her body she didn't expected at that moment given the circumstances. Her traitorous body was still aching.

"I'm not stupid" she said, forcing a frown.

With a wave of Kylo's hand, the door opened. Each of the generals picked a chair to sit down. The masked face rotated towards Pryde; the one who requested the meeting in the first place.

"Make it short General, I have a tight schedule today"

"Of course Supreme Leader"

For twenty minutes, General Pryde went through the different ongoing operations on the different planets involved, most of them having for sole aim the recruiting. Kylo went through the paper file while listening.

Rey was barely paying attention to what was said, too focused on the zipper between Kylo's legs. There was no zipper in his other trouser as far as she remembered. Or maybe was she too busy looking at his naked chest. She slightly parted his knees and slid between them.

"_What are you doing Rey?" _he asked through their bond.

"_Nothing" _she answered, slowly unzipping his pants.

Her hands freed his cock from his underwear and she took it hungrily in her mouth faster than hyperspace.

Kylo gasped and the paper crumpled through his tightening grip. All the eyes in the room flew to him. At that moment, he was thankful for his helmet. Rey was sucking on his cock and he couldn't help but wondering how she managed to make no sound while making him feel so good. She lived dangerously and though a part of him was concerned, another was totally turned on. It didn't take long for him to get rock hard, especially with her expertise which she had Maker knows how. Maybe she knew how to please him just like he knew how to please her and that was all thanks to their bond? Who knows? Why did it matter anyway? The woman of his dreams was sucking his cock in the middle of a meeting with his generals.

Her mouth and tongue teased his tip and Ben saw stars but his mind became a mess when her fingers joined the ballet held for his pleasure. He wouldn't last long if she went on like this.

"Is there something wrong Supreme Leader?" Hux asked, slightly irritated.

"Everything's….fine" his modulated voice said with an notable tremor. "I...I think we discussed everything….that needed to be discussed. Dismissed. Everyone out!"

The generals looked at each other and one after the other left the room. They were used to the Supreme Leader mood swings so it was nothing new. When the last one exited the place, he closed and locked the door with a wave of his hand.

Rey increased his speed, taking it as a signal.

"Fuck!" It was all he managed to say as emptied himself in her mouth. He slightly moved backwards and his eyes under his mask went down to met hers. She swallowed his cum, though a drop remained on the corner of her mouth. Her gaze was hungry. Kylo did not remove his helmet as she stood up next to him. He used the Force to drop her pants to her ankles and push her back against the wall. There was a small gasp that came out of her mouth but she couldn't move. He froze her there.

His gloved fingers reach her cunt which was already drenched from her previous ministrations.

" You're a dirty Scavenger" Kylo said, showing her his coated fingers.

Rey felt his ache growing more and more but was unable to move. She couldn't see his face but she knew he enjoying it. That arrogance was typical of Kylo.

Kylo then only kept his Force hold on her pinned wrists and upper body. That was when she started to press her thigh together.

"You will be treated accordingly" he said, his modulated voice showing dark undertones.

Kylo pressed his body against her, and slid two gloved fingers inside to tease her sweet spot; sending pulsating waves to stimulate it.

Rey's lower body jerked from the pleasure she felt. The leather was such a foreign but exciting sensation. He was stroking her fast, faster than the previous time and orgasm threatened to invade her body. She wanted to feel him inside her, not his fingers, no matter how good it felt.

"Please... I want…"

"What do you want?_ Say it._ "

"Don't….don't make me say it" she said flustered, heat rising to her cheeks.

He removed his finger and place the tip of his cock at her opening, making it glide between her labia. She moan at the heavenly feeling, trembling with need. To her surprise though, his fingers went back inside and stroked her faster and faster….and faster.

Her body trembled as she came and screamed his name. Kylo released Force hold and put his cock back in his pants.

"This is your punishment for being reckless and board my ship. You have twenty minute before the shipping starts. Better hurry" he said to her.

Rey's eyes shot daggers at him. She could feel he was smiling under his mask and it was even more infuriating.

"You….you're...you're impossible!" she said, fuming.

Her legs felt like jelly when she gathered her clothes. Once she was dressed, she walked towards the exit without a single glance at him.

"Be careful, sand kitty" he managed to say before she disappeared behind the door.

In the transport crate, Rey was frustrated and angry at her body for making her do such stupids things. The past two weeks, she had this ache that kept growing and now that they were finally together, he...he just….

Not that it wasn't pleasurable but she wanted to feel him. She needed that connection. Her arms circled her knees realizing she still haven't told him.

"Damn" she whispered, as the ship landed.

When she got back to the camp, Finn ran to her, worried.

"REY! Everybody was looking for you! No one knew where you were!"

"I….I just needed some time alone. For training."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

She turned to face Finn, anger filling her body.

" Do I have to make a report for you on every single thing I do Finn? What are you? My supervisor? "

The vehemence made him recoil. She could feel the worry in his voice when he spoke again.

"Rey, are you sure you are alright?"

Her blood was boiling and her face suddenly felt warm. The sun felt too blinding and too hot. It made no sense. How was that possible? She grew up on a deserted planet, she should be used to it. Her vision went blurry and that is when she realized something felt wrong. Her mouth opened to speak but before she could, everything went black.


End file.
